How old are you and your SO?
36 and 41.
Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.?
How long have you and your SO been together?
A little over 7 years.
At what age did you become CFBC?
I have been an ambivalent procrastinator as far as I can remember (since my teens and twenties). I determined I was definitely childfree at about 30/31 (after I was married).
Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue?
Yes. While he was not originally “childfree” he was more than okay going that route, more interested in being with me than having hypothetical children with a hypothetical someone else. It was not a dealbreaker for him. He has become more childfree himself as time has gone on.
What do you use for birth control (if applicable)?
I am at this point very happily sterilized.
Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)?
We have one adorable, sweet, very much loved cat 🙂
What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC?
Eh. I don’t think they think much one way or the other about it usually…I will add that in many cases, I do not say I am CFBC, they just know by now children are not in my cards. Most friends of ours (parents and non-parents alike) who do know of our choice are very supportive (and even encouraging) of it. My friends and family are interested in me as a person, not my reproductive choices. In my experience, it is strangers and acquaintances who have the issue with it.
Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC?
I do have a couple of friends who are CFBC or fence sitting. None of my siblings have children at this point, though I cannot definitely say they are childfree. Two of them are just delaying (one plans to adopt/use surrogacy at some point), and one is a fencesitter who leans towards being childfree but I kind of fear she will have a kid because her long term boyfriend really wants one so…
What are your hobbies?
I/we have many! Travel, scuba diving, reading, drawing, running, going to the gym, camping, hiking, kayaking, whatever I/he/we want to try!
Why are you CFBC?
Well, I have many reasons but ultimately, I just do not want kids and I do not want the life of being a parent. As I said earlier, I was a ambivalent procrastinator for many years, and had many reasons against having kids: enjoying my career, loving my freedoms and spontaneity, relishing my private time, being a bit more introverted, enjoying my one on one time with my husband and our relationship, liking to travel, not wanting the financial strain, not wanting to go through pregnancy or childbirth, not being a caretaker-type, not liking being around children particularly (and usually veering towards disliking them), prioritizing autonomy, having hereditary health risks I did not want to pass on, not wanting the day to day grind of parenthood, enjoying being able to do with my time what I want to do with my time, feeling a bit of “been there and done that” as I had to care a lot for younger siblings (eldest sibling in a single parent household)…but really, it is just I do not WANT that life. In my own case, living *my* life to the fullest means being childfree. That is all!
How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids?
I don’t really get this much anymore. It’s sort of a non-issue at this point in my life. Most people I am close to know I am not having kids. Even people who don’t know just assume at this point I guess. Usually it might be new people I meet trying to make small talk, like a new hair dresser. If anyone asks if we are going to have them or when, I just say we aren’t. I had a coworker ask me the other day if I was “hiding something” because she heard a rumour I was going on maternity leave. I just laughed and said, never.
How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”?
I am not doing anything “special” other than financial planning. I am quite excited that I will not be obligated to grandchildren or adult children in my later years. I hope my husband and I are are both still in good health to enjoy life as we do now.
What do you do for a living?
I am a lawyer. I also own a small business (related to one of our hobbies) with my husband.