How old are you and your SO? Both 30-something.
Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? We’re in a privately negotiated, non-marital committed partnership. (We have chosen to eschew legal and religious marriage for ideological reasons, but consider ourselves life partners.)
How long have you and your SO been together? We’ve been together since early 2011.
At what age did you become CFBC? I became CFBC/CBC at the age of four. I’m not sure when my partner became CFBC/CBC, but it was before we met.
Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? Yes.
What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? Currently a Mirena IUD, looking at getting a combo of uterine ablation and another non-hormonal method in the future (was considering Essure, but there have been a lot of problems with it, and it’s under review by the FDA, so we’ll see how that goes first). My partner is also watching the development of Vasalgel & RISUG, and is hoping to add that to our repertoire of baby-preventing tools if/when they become available here in the US. Oh, and we use condoms when I’m at peak fertility. We really don’t want to risk pregnancy.
Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? We have two dogs and two cats.
What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? My family has come to terms with it, though my dad and I got into some pretty heated fights over it. His family is still in denial (we’re atheists, they’re Mormon/LDS, so not only has he rejected the church, we’re living in sin and aren’t producing babies).
Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? Nope.
What are your hobbies? It would probably be easier to list the things that aren’t my/our hobbies than to list the things that are. We’re not big on skydiving (I get vertigo), he doesn’t like swimming (I do), neither of us drink or do drugs, he doesn’t like to dance (I used to be part of a swing dance club).
Why are you CFBC? We feel like having children is both incredibly altruistic (you have to sacrifice, set aside your own goals and desires) and incredibly selfish/egotistical (you’re creating a new life purely with the intention of passing on your own genes, or shaping that life to your own desires, or passing on your family name). When I look at the reasons for having children that would motivate me, I only come up with egotistical ones. That’s not a good reason to have a child.
How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? “Not happening.” I used to be nice about it, but it’s gotten to the point now that I just say, “I’ve taken the steps available to me to prevent myself from getting pregnant. I’m not ‘premitted’ sterlization, because of my age and the fact that I don’t have children, so if I get pregnant, I’m having an abortion.” That usually shocks them into shutting up – and it has the benefit of being true.
How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? I have retirement funds, insurance funds, a pension fund…as does my partner.
What do you do for a living? I work full-time for the state, and am in my first year of my MFA in Creative Writing. My partner works for the faclities department of a local school district, maintaining approximately $2.5 million in mechanical equipment.
Member
