(Closed) CFBC Bees Introduce Yourself

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 16
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

How old are you and your SO? Both 27

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? Committed (on that ‘waiting’ list Lol) 

How long have you and your SO been  together? Just under 2 years

At what age did you become CFBC? 23! After my ex fiancé tried to tell me I was having kids after getting married..

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? Yup, he encourages it haha

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? The pill

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? A cat and hopefully a puppy soon! 

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? We haven’t told many of them actually but most seem to be ok with it (to our faces atleast) 

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? No, I should get some friends that are though! 

What are your hobbies? Makeup, Running/Hiking, and shopping lol

Why are you CFBC? ive worked in childcare for over a decade. Ive put in my time raising other people’s kids and like to go home at 5pm and just worry about myself 

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? I usually get a little sassy and say ‘why did you or do you want kids?’ 

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? I’ve got nieces and nephews and hopefully retire on the beach somewhere

What do you do for a living? Oddly enough, Nanny part-time and Run a blog. 

I’m excited for this board. Great to meet all of you! 

Post # 17
Member
4548 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hi, I am Olivepepper!

How old are you and your SO? mid 30’s

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? Married πŸ™‚

How long have you and your SO been together? 8 years, married 5.

At what age did you become CFBC? at birth… lol, no actually at about 15. I was told by my endocrinologist I would be unlikely to conceive naturally due to some medical stuff, my overwhelming thought was one of relief.

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? My husband was told on our second date children were not in my future, he was and continues to be happy with this. 

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? pill

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? Birds! I love my little feathered fluff monsters.

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? To be honest, I don’t know, and I don’t care. I shut down any opinions about others ideas on my life choices. 

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? Nope!

What are your hobbies? Sparkly things, shopping, reading, travelling.

Why are you CFBC? Because I would not enjoy parenting. I am so not a baby loving person. Other than that, I enjoy most children who are over the age of about 2- in very small doses.

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? I respond 

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? I guess this is a loaded question. We are preparing as most should, by saving money, keeping healthy etc. Having worked in aged care, it does not matter how many kids you have, chances are most people won’t get many visitors or much support when they are old. I saw this all too often! We will be able to pay for our care if and when needed. 

What do you do for a living? Qualified social worker doing work for the Federal Goverment. My Husband is an Engineer.

 

 

Post # 18
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

How old are you and your SO?

– I’m 25, Boyfriend or Best Friend is 28

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.?

– committed relationship since dec. 2014

How long have you and your SO been together?

– see above

At what age did you become CFBC?

– Ummm…. 23?

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue?

– So far so good. We were watching the office and michael scott said “why be a parent when you can be a cool uncle” and Boyfriend or Best Friend agreed just a couple days ago πŸ™‚

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)?

– Mirena, I got it mainly for endometriosis. It’s helping a lot!

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)?

– I have a cat. I’m a huge cat person and he is okay with her πŸ™‚ 

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC?

– They think I will change my mind, of course. Although they go between “you’ll have them” and “you need to not have kids… ever”

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC?

– Nope. My aunt and cousin who swore they’d never have kid had kids so… Although I believe my cousin was on the fence but her husband really wanted kids.

What are your hobbies?

– Well now that I’m finally done school and finally have a job and money for hobbies…. walking, pottery, dance, eating food, cooking, reading, movies/netflix… sometimes i dabble in phototography and painting.

Why are you CFBC?

– Well I officially decided when I watched my then 9-10 year old cousin for a week while my aunt, mom and his dad were on vacation for a week. I was in nursing school and I was in charge of his breakfast, lunch, and dinner, getting him to and from school and to extra cirriculars, checking his homework and also completing my own work and taking care of myself! Kudos to all the moms out there because I absolutely hated it. lol I then realized that I don’t HAVE to have kids, i kind of just assumed I’d have them. My life plan when I had kids was to wait until I had enough money to hire a nanny, have the kid and have the nanny take care of it when I didn’t feel like being bothered, then when they’re old enough send them to boarding school and summer camp until they go away for college. I realized that’s not way to treat a kid and that I’d be better off just not having them. I told Boyfriend or Best Friend all this when we started dating and had to make sure he knew I was 100% serious before we’d start to date. I told him I had thought of fostering teens or something and if we felt the need we could. He became an uncle in the past year and he’s so smitten with his neice. It kind of scares me because I think at any minute he’ll tell me he wants kids but so far so good….

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids?

– “Never, I hope” lol

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”?

– We plan on putting a lot into investniog and retirement. We’re currently working on becoming debt free.

What do you do for a living?

– I’m a nurse.

 

Post # 19
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Hi πŸ™‚

How old are you and your SO? 

I am 24 and he is 30

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.?

We have been living together for just over a year.

How long have you and your SO been  together? 

Just over two years

At what age did you become CFBC?

I don’t think there was ever a time that I wanted kids. when I was really young I didn’t want to get married because it thought it meant you had a baby put in you automatically Haha

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? 

My boyfriend was on the fence.m and had the belief that if his partner wanted kids then they would. But he says being with me has made him realise he doesn’t have to have them. 

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? 

Condoms and the pill.

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? 

A crazy little kitten that we love to bits 

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC?

My mum is a bit sad and hopes I’ll change my mind, my aunt never saw me having kids And my nana asked “what if your husband wanted kids?” Well I think I would have discussed it with him well before he became my husband!

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC?

Nope

What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, studying, history, hiking, traveling etc.

Why are you CFBC? 

Because I never had a desire to be a mother and do it enjoy being around children. 

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids?

i just say it’s not for me. But it doesn’t happen too often but I’m assuming it will get more frequent once I am married. 

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? 

We will be traveling the world together having a blast with all our savings that haven’t been spent on having children. Having children is no guarantee they will support you in old age – I see this alot in my line of work – children taking advantage of their parents. 

What do you do for a living?

Legal Secretary

 



Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/cfbc-bees-introduce-yourself/#ixzz3z5ealjGW

Post # 20
Member
10951 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m cagey about my exact age around here.  Suffice it to say well past my childbearing years but don’t look it, feel it, act it or dress it.  Dh is 4 yrs older than I.

Dh & I have been together for 13 yrs, married for 5.

I knew at age 9 I didn’t want kids.  Always preferred the company of adults.  Like a PP, I was forever starting new businesses. I once tried to start a golf course in the park using sand from the beach.

Dh has 2 sons who are both adults & on their own.  He loves them, but in his candid moments will say he would not do it over again.

Dh has had the big snip.

My late mother was all for my being CFBC.  My parents were horribly abusive so their opinions were skewed.

I know some CFBCers.

There are so many reasons.  I’m selfish.  The idea of pregnancy & childbirth seems gross to me.  I don’t enjoy kids.

People never really challenged me about it.  I think I come across as pretty intense.  I have had a couple of people say it was unfortunate because I’d be such a good mom.

We have German Shepherds.  Also our hobby.

I never thought it was rational to rely on your kids as some sort of annuity in your old age.  I believe we had better assume we’ll be own our own & plan accordingly.  We’re prepping by bringing our expenses down as much as we can.  We just bought our Foreber Home & were so fortunate to be able to pay cash for it, no car payments, etc.  Old age is coming up quickly for us & I’ve not done a great job as a self employed person of retirement saving so this seems like the next best thing.

I hold 2 post grad degrees & am currently a real estate broker, which I’ve done for 12 yrs.  I’m also a published author & radio host.

Post # 21
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee

How old are you and your SO? Both 30-something.

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? We’re in a privately negotiated, non-marital committed partnership. (We have chosen to eschew legal and religious marriage for ideological reasons, but consider ourselves life partners.) 

How long have you and your SO been together? We’ve been together since early 2011.

At what age did you become CFBC? I became CFBC/CBC at the age of four.  I’m not sure when my partner became CFBC/CBC, but it was before we met.

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? Yes.

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? Currently a Mirena IUD, looking at getting a combo of uterine ablation and another non-hormonal method in the future (was considering Essure, but there have been a lot of problems with it, and it’s under review by the FDA, so we’ll see how that goes first).  My partner is also watching the development of Vasalgel & RISUG, and is hoping to add that to our repertoire of baby-preventing tools if/when they become available here in the US.  Oh, and we use condoms when I’m at peak fertility.  We really don’t want to risk pregnancy.

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? We have two dogs and two cats.

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? My family has come to terms with it, though my dad and I got into some pretty heated fights over it.  His family is still in denial (we’re atheists, they’re Mormon/LDS, so not only has he rejected the church, we’re living in sin and aren’t producing babies).

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? Nope.

What are your hobbies? It would probably be easier to list the things that aren’t my/our hobbies than to list the things that are.  We’re not big on skydiving (I get vertigo), he doesn’t like swimming (I do), neither of us drink or do drugs, he doesn’t like to dance (I used to be part of a swing dance club).

Why are you CFBC? We feel like having children is both incredibly altruistic (you have to sacrifice, set aside your own goals and desires) and incredibly selfish/egotistical (you’re creating a new life purely with the intention of passing on your own genes, or shaping that life to your own desires, or passing on your family name).  When I look at the reasons for having children that would motivate me, I only come up with egotistical ones.  That’s not a good reason to have a child.

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids?  “Not happening.”  I used to be nice about it, but it’s gotten to the point now that I just say, “I’ve taken the steps available to me to prevent myself from getting pregnant.  I’m not ‘premitted’ sterlization, because of my age and the fact that I don’t have children, so if I get pregnant, I’m having an abortion.”  That usually shocks them into shutting up – and it has the benefit of being true.

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? I have retirement funds, insurance funds, a pension fund…as does my partner.

What do you do for a living? I work full-time for the state, and am in my first year of my MFA in Creative Writing.  My partner works for the faclities department of a local school district, maintaining approximately $2.5 million in mechanical equipment.

 

Post # 22
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Talus Rock Retreat

How old are you and your SO? I am 26 and my Fiance is 25

Are you married, in a commited relationship, etc? We are engaged. 

How long have you and your SO been together? We have been together for 7 years now

At what age did you become CFBC? I think I’ve always known I didn’t want kids. Growing up I thought it was something I HAD to do. Once I was a teenager and figured out that I didn’t have to have children, I liked that idea and decided that I didn’t want kids for A LONG TIME…then realized at 20 when all my friends started having children that I really didn’t want kids and didn’t think I would ever want kids. 

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? We are on the exact same page at this point. 

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? Nothing right now, no condoms or anything. I’m pretty sure I have endometreosis and suspicious of OSS at this point too, which means it would be very difficult for me to have kids anyway. I’m looking into the NuvaRing now, but more to take care of my extremely painful menstrual cramps. Birth control has always been an issue for me, makes me crazy from all the hormones and the IUD scares me so hopefully the NuvaRing will work for me. 

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? Yes we have a 4 year old Golden Retriever, a 5 year old Boxer, and a 6 year old Domestic Long Hair feline. The golden is my baby, I love him more than anything in this world, other than my Fiance of course. I basically treat him like he is my child lol. I’ve always loved animals, while children were playing with dolls and pretending to be mothers I was playing with animals, acting like an animal, and playing with animal action figures. 

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? They are all pretty supportive actually. They all know that I’ve never been the maternal type. 

Do you have any immediate family members/friends who are CFBC? No

What are your hobbies? I love to lift weights 5-6 days a week! Love to read, in school right now, love to snowboard, wakeboard, fishing, swimming out at the lake I live nearby, love to hike with the dogs. I love to color too, it relaxes me lol

Why are you CFBC? Never really loved kids, never had the maternal insticnt or was even good with kids that were younger than me. There are enough people in this world, I feel like I’m helping with population control lol. The world is a scary place and I don’t want to bring any more kids into it. I grew up in a broken home and I swore to myself that I would never put children in the same situation that I was in growing up, it’s too hard to deal with…and I don’t want to be a single parent…EVER…and I want to be selfish if I need to be. I feel like if you have kids, they come first…ALWAYS…and you can’t think of yourself anymore. Every decision you make in your life will affect them…and I just don’t want that responsibility. 

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? People don’t really ask me anymore. If someone does ask I just say NEVER! and laugh and that usually seems to be the end of the conversation. 

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? I have no idea…don’t really care tbh

What do you do for a living? I’m a veterinary technician (nurse). I work in emergency medicine…nights and weekends…pays better than day practice (wouldn’t be able to work nights and weekends if i had kids!) Fiance’ is an LPN, he also works graveyard shifts…graves pay more than day shift…plus we are night owls…love sleeping during the day and being awake at night:)

 

Post # 23
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

How old are you and your SO? 

We’re in our early 30’s

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.?

Married 

How long have you and your SO been  together? 

We’ve been together 9 years. (Holy crap almost 10 years lol)

At what age did you become CFBC? 

I knew around 11, became stone cold firm at 18 and made active decisions to stay that way, including aborting at 24. Just hated the idea of children.

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? 

Absolutely.  He had no real passion for kids either way, and he’s repeatedly said his love of his life with me would surpass any life with kids in it. He’s more than satisfied with our lot.

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)?

I became medically infertile at 28! Whoop!! I was on hormonal BC. But we celebrated yanking that goalie off the ice and throwing him into early retirement! (Throwing the remaining pills into a fire! Darling Husband hated them, they made me moody)

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? 

I have my little furbabies Chihuahuas that are my everything. And I mean- I have physically launched myself at someone who kicked one out of the way at my house. Lucky Darling Husband saw what was going down and grabbed me, but that person was cussed out and banned at my house effective immediately.

I no longer see him.

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? 

They are cool with it, they know it’s now out of my hands. They’re just happy I’m coping so well. 

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC?

I have two older cousins that are both CFBC and one of them is also now naturally infertile. (genetics) We celebrated with them too!

What are your hobbies? 

We love taking long walks and I read a great deal, in peace and quiet. 

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids?

“Never. We’ll travel forever.” as for why not “They don’t like it in the overhead compartment” 

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”?  I figure I’ll watch a lot of TV, maybe join some social groups and hire a service to give me a call everyday or so.

What do you do for a living?

I’m the development manager for an organisation that provides help, services and equipment to children with cerebral palsy. Mainly those in limited to no income families.  


Post # 24
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

How old are you and your SO? 34, 38

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? married

How long have you and your SO been together? 7 years great friends, then 4 years together

At what age did you become CFBC? me- about 5/6 him- about 30

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? He realized he didn’t want kids before we started to date. We had several long talks about the issue years before we dated.

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? pill

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? we have two german shepards, see my avatar

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? they are the same or they do not care or judge our choice

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? family no, friends yes

What are your hobbies? travel

Why are you CFBC? too long an answer for this survey

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? “there are so many women who are born to be amazing mothers, I am not one. I admire that you are”

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? saving money. Even with kids I would not expect them to support me.

What do you do for a living? We are both in mangement

 

 

Post # 26
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

submart:  

1. Middle aged, 2. married, 3. 19yrs, 16yrs married 4. pre-marriage for me, upon marriage for him, 5. yes, 6. nothing, 7. no, 8. nomb, 9. yes, 10. too many to list, 11. too many reasons to list, 12. I usually don’t because it’s notb, 13. investments, 14. white collar professionals (currently I’m a SAHW)  

 

Post # 28
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

jnmaes26:  

Be careful about the endometriosis diagnosis. Just because you have it doesn’t necessarily mean that is is hard to have kids since there are so many different places that it could be growing. Have you gotten a laproscopy yet?

Nuvaring worked pretty well for me for a while, I hope it works for you.

Post # 28
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

How old are you and your SO? 28 and 29

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? married

How long have you and your SO been together? 12 years dating, 6 years married

At what age did you become CFBC? We are on the fence about it but right now leaning toward no.

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? Yes he is fine with it.

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? Mirena

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? We have 2 cats.

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? My dad doesn’t push us about it, the inlaws do a bit but my husband shuts them down saying that they can take care of them for us then.

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? No we don’t have any family or friends who are.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, exercising, reading, watching TV

Why are you CFBC? First of all, I have had a lot of medical issues, some that will make it difficult to have children and others like back pain that make it so I can’t run around after a kid all day after work. I also don’t flip out every time I see a baby, most of the time I hide when a coworker brings in a baby because I have no clue what to do with them. We also like traveling which is super hard to do with kids.

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? We tell them we are undecided.

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? We have been saving the max since we started working and will get small pensions from our work at retirement as well.

What do you do for a living? I am an accountant and he is an engineer.

Post # 29
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Hi! Darling Husband and I are in our mid-late twenties. We are going on our fourth year of marriage and we have not been jointly cfbc for long. Long story short- neither of us are kid people, however we definitely felt societal pressure from friends and family. Then I got sick and basically, if we had kids, it would now kill me or said kid. We moved far away and are really comfortable with our child free lifestyle; now realizing that we never wanted kids but rather felt the need to do so from others. Our families are in complete denial about us being cfbc. We do not know a single cfbc person in reality, so it can be very isolating. But we have 3 pets that we love and we treat them as our children. Our dog has a bedroom with a queen sized pillow top bed in the guest room. Every night, we tuck him in. He’s saved us in many ways; from DH’s ptsd to when I was sick, that dog was there. In fact, my answer for why we don’t have kids is normally something like “We’re genuinely concerned that we probably wouldn’t love our human children near as much as our fur children.” It’s not really the reason but it’s better than making others feel awkward. Pretty much everyone we tell normally argues and says like oh someday! But…. I’ve disliked children since I was one at 2yrs old. So I don’t see it changing. For BC, I am on the pill and if I slip even a bit, condoms. There’s a tiny chance I could naturally get pregnant and even that is too much! We are both in school- me full time nursing, and he is going for military leadership. I will graduate with my BSN and he’s currently active duty army and would like to commission when he’s done with school. Our hobbies include quirky tv shows, food- we’re major foodies, traveling, and just serving others. For old age, we have a well cushioned savings account and plan on traveling a lot! We also want an rv for the “highlight of our twilight” road trips. πŸ˜‚ 

Post # 30
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

 

How old are you and your SO? We are both 31.

Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? We’re engaged and getting married in 13 days!!! (February 16th, 2016)

How long have you and your SO been  together? We started dating in 2004, so a zillion years. We broke up for 2 years during the early years then got back together.

At what age did you become CFBC? It was definitely recently. Maybe around 27-28? I wanted kids when I was younger but as I learned more about myself and what I really wanted out of life, I started questioning whether or not I wanted kids. I also have insomnia and realized that day to day life is hard enough without kids and I know for the sake of my well-being, having kids might not be in the cards for me.

Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? My FI has always leaned towards not wanting them but the topic will always be up for discussion if I ever change my mind. We discussed this before getting engaged since I can’t promise that I 100% will never want kids. I just don’t know if I’m going to wake up one day and be like “omg, I need to be a mom”.

What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? BC pills

Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? Yes! We have a cat and a dog, and they are our babies.

What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? Our families would love to see us have kids. Our parents really want grandchildren and it’s unknown whether our siblings will have kids. I’m pretty sure my friends just want me to do whatever makes me happy. The ones with kids definitely understand that it’s not for everyone. πŸ™‚

Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? I don’t think so. All of my close friends either have kids or it’s in the short-term plan.

What are your hobbies? It’s always morphing. I like to do things that I can build on or get better at. Last year I trained for and ran my first half marathon. When that was over, I got certified to teach spin and taught it at my gym. I do ballet. I’m looking forward to starting piano lessons after the wedding. I’ve also been getting more crafty lately so I’ve been doing little DIY projects.

Why are you CFBC? It’s a combination of my insomnia and not wanting the day-to-day life as a parent. Also, we move around the country a lot for FI’s job and it would be difficult to do that with kids. I love being able to just pick up and move to a different part of the country and experience life there for a couple years.

How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? It depends on who is asking but normally I say something like “I have kids with paws!” or “I’m not sure yet” if I don’t feel like getting into it.

How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? This is the part that I struggle with. I love the idea of having adult children and visiting with them on holidays and stuff. I don’t like the idea of being old and not having a family. I also fear regret for not having kids after it’s physically too late.

What do you do for a living? Accountant

 

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/cfbc-bees-introduce-yourself/#ixzz3z70FeLac

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