I am 26 and he is 31
We are engaged.
We were friends for six years, have been together for 2.5.
I started re-evaluating whether I really wanted children or not in my prior marriage, when my then-husband was pushing the issue really hard. I realized then that it wasn’t only that I couldn’t imagine having children with him, I wasn’t sure I wanted them at all. I am still on the fence about having children now, but am lean strongly towards CFBC.
Fiance is on the fence as well. We are both in agreement that it won’t happen until at least 5-7 years from now, if at all. We’ve also discussed adopting an older child in the future as neither of us is terribly excited about the baby stage.
I am on the Pill.
We have a cat, an 8 month old English Bulldog puppy, and a 7 year old Siberian Husky. Our pets are pretty much our kids, in fact, one worry we have about having children is that our Bulldog won’t adapt. I would be heartbroken if we weren’t able to keep him if he reacted badly to a child, and I honestly think I would resent the kid. We are stupid attached to that dog.
His family is fine with it, his older brother has a kid and his sister wants them as well. My mother is very upset about the idea, and thinks I’m selfish for considering that kids may not fit into the lifestyle we want.
Nope. Both of my sisters have children (younger by accident, older one waited until she was 37. If I have them, I will be emulating her.) Most of our friends have them.
My hobbies are reading, writing, yoga, kayaking, watching movies, and lately, those grown up coloring books (I have an Outlander one and Harry Potter). I’ve turned Fiance into a bit of a foodie and going out and trying new places to eat has become a bit of a hobby for us, we go to baseball games together, and he’s teaching me to play video games, and we have a board gaming group. Fiance puts together and paints miniature models for tabletop gaming, plays video games, referees youth hockey and baseball, and runs. (I am trying to get into running with him).
We are CFBC right now because we aren’t sure that kids fit into the lifestyle we want. They’re very expensive and time consuming, and we aren’t sure that we want the dramatic changes that come with having children. We want to be absolutely sure if we change our minds, not just cross our fingers and hope for the best.
I tell people the above. I feel like those who do have children who do it intentionally are better parents, and I don’t think it’s right to have kids just because it’s the “thing to do”. We’ve both agreed that if we ever decide to, it will be a carefully thought out decision and we will approach it as a team. If one doesn’t want them, we don’t do it.
Fiance puts a lot into retirement either way. When I am done with school and have a stable job, I’ll be doing the same thing. Our retirement plans vary (buy an RV and travel the country, move to FL [I am against that one], move to the PNW, buy a small cottage in Scotland and raise Corgis and English Bulldogs).
I currently am a freelance writer and work a couple days a week in retail, and am working on my Master’s degree in historic preservation. Fiance works as a public affairs officer for the media dept of the DOD, and also is in the Army Natl. Guard.