How old are you and your SO? 29 and 30.
Are you married, in a committed relationship, etc.? Married (for 1.5 years).
How long have you and your SO been together? Celebrated our 10 year anniversary in November.
At what age did you become CFBC? Difficult one to answer. I think I have always been CFBC, but, I did go through a phase of assuming I would have children because ‘that’s what everyone does’. I then realised that not having children was actually an option (lol), so went through a fence-sitting phase really analysing my feelings, and then came ‘out’ as CFBC about 3 years ago, at 25/26.
Is your SO CFBC or ok with whatever on the kid issue? Like me, he assumed he would have children. I suspect he might have had them/have them were he with someone else. However, he’s actually more anti-kid than I am (much less patience etc), so it’s kind of a paradox of sorts.
What do you use for birth control (if applicable)? The mini-pill Zeletta. I have endometriosis, so need to be on hormonal BC to keep it under control. I’ve previously tried the combined pill (Microgynon), the Mirena IUS, and the Depo Provera injection, and this has been the best all-round.
I plan to have an elective total hysterectomy when I reach my 40s due to the possible link between endo and certain cancers (inc ovarian), and am considering sterilisation, but at the moment it isn’t a priority due to cost, the fact abortion is free and legal in the UK, and the fact I have to stay on hormonal BC anyway (plus the risks of surgery, which are higher for me because of the endo, which just LOVES scar tissue).
Do you have any pets (or are you pet free as well)? We are currently with my parents and so help care for the family dog, a gorgeous 5 year old Boxer boy. We hope to move out later this year, and when we do will probably be pet-free for the forseeable future at least. We both love dogs, but they are a huge commitment; not as much as a child, obviously, but still up there IMPO. We like being able to go away last-minute, and go away several times a year, and I don’t think that’s fair on an animal.
What does your family/friends think of you being CFBC? My family are fine and honestly, totally unsurprised. My friends are also fine with it now I’m ‘out and proud’. We do however get comments/criticism from some of H’s friends, and I’ve had to be pretty rude to them on a few occasions to shut things down. H’s family are also fine with it, bar Mother-In-Law, but, we have no contact with her.
Do you have any immediate family members or friends who are CFBC? No, though Brother-In-Law is on the fence.
What are your hobbies? Reading, swimming, travelling, theatre (particularly the ballet and Opera), dining out.
Why are you CFBC? Because I don’t want children. All the other pluses are just added bonuses.
How do you respond when others ask you why or when you are going to have kids? ‘Actually, I don’t want children.’ If they push, I will say I do not wish to discuss it and change the subject, and have actually walked away from people before when they have STILL continued. I’ve also been pretty rude on a couple of occasions eg one woman KEPT bingoing me, so in the end (it was a situation where leaving would have been difficult) I said: ‘You know that new baby smell?’ *cue lots of ohhs and ahs and nodding and smiling* ‘Yeah, I can smell that, and it makes me feel physically sick’. Harsh? Yup. But it did the trick; she realised not only was I serious about not wanting babies NOW, but ever. I was trying to demonstrate how I just lack any maternal instinct, and it had the desired effect.
How are you preparing for a CFBC life in “old age”? The long-term plan would be to own a small property that we live it, and also purchase an investment property for some income once we’re retired. I also hope to cultivate a close network of friends of all ages: the happiest, least lonely elderly people I know are actually all CFBC. So I am not worried.
What do you do for a living? I currently work part-time only and am looking for full-time employment. I was working two jobs and studying for a PhD until July last year, but I’ve been extremely ill for the last couple of years, basically due to Mother-In-Law (stress, anxiety, depression, several nervous breakdowns, and a major CFS relapse) so had to quit my PhD and one of my jobs. I’m getting better, so am now looking for work, ideally an admin position in a school.