(Closed) CFBC – Child free by choice – DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME!

posted 3 years ago in No Kids
Post # 32
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

41 years old here and would you believe I got lectured by my ob/gyn’s nurse about how I might be “getting too old” to have kids so here’s a pamphlet on a nearby facility that will freeze your eggs? I don’t WANT my eggs frozen! Lol ever stop to think of that, Fannie Presumptuous, RN?

By God and sonny Jesus…it’s a CHOICE! Like every other choice!! I just don’t know why this choice is somehow assumed open for discussion or up for debate. 

Post # 33
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

I’m so glad to know there are other CFBC people out there.  Everyone is so baffled by it.  I don’t understand why its so hard to grasp.  I don’t like children, therefore I don’t have any.  You don’t like cats, therefore you don’t have any.

When I got my IUD my doctor literally asked me what turned me off of children when I told her one of my reasons for getting said IUD was that I don’t ever want children.  Nothing turned me off of children, I’ve just be literally unable to picture myself as a mother since fourth grade and since I don’t imagine myself that way, I developed into not wanting children.  My husband always said being around children turned him off of childern.

Post # 34
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Gsxr06:  not that I’m agreeing with them or say if they’re right, but they may have some kind of legal clause that they have to mention it to prevent a lawsuit. As ridiculous as people are these days, I can see someone not bothering, then deciding they want kids and trying to sue because “no one told me I couldn’t still try at 60!” Again, in no way am I agreeing with them doing it, but can honestly see some legal thing requiring them to mention it. 

Post # 35
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

minimalistbride:  lol. I just tell people I’ve never met anyone i like well enough to have children with. Which is true. Even Fiance. I love him, I’m marrying him, but not enough to have children with him. I’d never meet someone I liked enough to do that. 

Post # 36
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I am 42, I just tell the Nosy Parkers who ask, that I forgot. 

Post # 37
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Lily_of_the_valley:  my Boyfriend or Best Friend had a vasectomy in May. Obviously, we will be baby-free. My mother keeps insisting that we might change our mind one day or that “God’s will” can make anything possible. She’s in denial. Apparently only children can fulfill a woman. What utter nonsense.

 

Post # 38
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

honeybadgered:  lol I knew a couple kind of like that. Well they weren’t child free. They had 3, and then he got a vasectomy. Well, they split up for awhile (separated not divorced) she got a boyfriend, got pregnant, he knocked her around (the boyfriend) then she and her husband ended back together… with a fourth. I just think it’s funny because before that people asked if they were having more and she told everyone “nope… he got snipped”. Luckily, he was willing to take her back even though she was pregnant. I don’t think I could have been so forgiving. Would have been a deal breaker for me. But I just thought it was funny because it seems like that would have been a story your mom would use 🙂

i went back and forth for awhile but realized that if I end up divorced (already been there once, was able to leave free and clear and avoid that nightmare) I want to leave free and clear. In fact, even married I can go where I want if theres no kids. I have a cousin who lives in one state, his wife lives in another and they have a great marriage. Would be hard to do with kids and I’m not ready to give up those options. I told Fiance my thoughts and told him I’d rather he got snipped… what I didn’t tell him was that I want the option to change my mind… just in case 😉 

Post # 39
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead

ElephantAndTheFlea :  WOW! It’s like people read out of the same newsletter or something. I swear I know each and every person who said this to you! Like they are reading from the same script! LOL! So glad it’s not just me. 

I will say, In the midst of all of this noise, I have heard a few voices of reason as well (and they are ALL people who have children) and they each told me to wait until WE are READY. They encouraged us to travel more, do more fun things together, enjoy our marriage a bit (we won’t even be married a year until next month!), etc. Their words are like a glass of cold water in the desert. And I’m definitely taking their advice and running with it!

Post # 40
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Post # 41
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Sorry, I know it’s crude, but the Oatmeal seems to understand.

Post # 42
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

…wait a minute, there are monsters out there who chose not to have animals?! Those are the people truly missing out!!

Post # 43
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

Isilme :  No lie–my SO sent me this exact same comic today. This is how I know we’re a match.

I’m fortunate enough not to be around people who badger me about having children, but I work in a client’s office frequently where the older ladies there once told me I better have children or no one will take care of me when I’m old. I mean, what??

What a terrible reason to have a child: “Hello, baby. I have given you life and thrust you into the reality of a hard and sometimes difficult world. Also I need you to take care of my every whim in about 60 years kthnx.”

Post # 44
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

misspixel :  I always laugh about the “who will look after you?” thing. When my grandma was in a care home for the last few weeks of her life the nurses told me how most of the residents are lucky to get a once a month visit from their offspring. My cousins have both moved to other countries and there is no way my auntie would ask them to move back to care for her when the time comes. My manager cares for his elderly mum and dignity has had to go out the window as she is incontinent and needs help washing etc.  Who would want their kids to have to do that.  I fully expect to save for a good care  home. 

Post # 45
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

misspixel :  My mother was bipolar to a point where she was often nonfunctional – I was her caretaker as long as I could perform any tasks she chose not to, usually based on what I could lift of reach.  She was a prescription drug abuser, and even mixed taking laxative and sedatives one night, resulting in the same thing shown in the comic above.  I have taken care of my mother, and would never want my kids if I ever had any to feel on the hook for taking care of me.  Alzheimers runs in my family, and so that’s just one more reason I don’t want kids – I don’t want to burden them with that.

I’ve heard the “have kids to create future caretakers” argument, ad yes, H and I sometimes get a little sad at the idea of being old and alone.  But really, I have cats.  I have hobbies.  I have been working full time for 16 years and have plenty more to go before I’d even be able to consider retirement.  

Seriously, there are so many kids in bad homes (I was one of them) and so many without homes at all, I don’t feel a huge push to go make more.  

 

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