Post # 16
Sunny.Day : haha, i totally get what you’re saying! to be honest most of the women (and men) i know are SUPER career driven. we live in nyc and that’s the norm here. when we were early 20s all of our friends were broke, but now that we’re late 20s-early 30s practically everyone is working crazy hours and making tons of money while still complaining about being broke…somehow.
i am all for career-driven people following their drive and passion, but that’s just not what everyone is all about. Darling Husband and i have always had the goal of living frugally, saving lots of money, and spending our cash on experiences. we are best able to reach all of our goals with him working full-time in an office and me working part-time from home. it’s not that i’m unambitious, as a kid i was a competitive dancer, i started at age 5 and trained like crazy through age 18 and danced professionally. i had that passion and drive and competitive spirit for dance, but…i don’t really have it for other work, at least not for any wo
at this point i think we have an ideal work/life balance. both dh and i work 4 days a week, dh works 4 (10 hour) days and i work 4 (4 hour) days. our off time is all ours because i handle the household stuff (which i enjoy). he can take 2 days off of work and we can have a full 5 days off together. we don’t outsource anything and rarely buy food out, i even pack dh’s breakfast and lunch daily. it’s kind of crazy because we have no debt and a wayyyy higher savings than our much higher earning couple friends. it’s all about priorities, some people genuinely need and want professional accomplisments (dh is like that), and that’s totally fine, but some people don’t (i.e. me).
i believe that life short and that each person should make the choices that make him/her happiest. if working 60 hours a week makes you happy…do it girl!!!! if having a little less money and working 30 hours a week makes you happy…do that! there’s no one way to live, and thank goodness, what a boring world that would be. to be perfectly honest though, i’m not super up front about my working hours with people i know IRL, i know what the reactions would be and i frankly don’t want to hear it. i love my life.
Post # 17
mrshmc1204 : We are life twins 🙂 Not a bad lifestyle to share!
Post # 18
I am lucky to live in a country that still believes in workers rights and so work/life balance is pretty good compared to a lot of other places for most workers. I personally choose to work about 80hrs a week between my fulltime job, my business and volunteer work. But all three jobs are very different so it doesn’t feel monotonous.
But I think the bigger issue is the expectation that work/life balance isn’t a right for CF people unlike parents. I have lost count of the number of times it is assumed that because I don’t have kids I will do overtime or weekends/nights and been made to feel guilty (they try but it doesn’t work) for saying no. Same with leave on significant holidays. We try and visit the inlaws every two years for xmas which means I plan ahead and book that time as soon as the leave dates are open. You will not believe the number of times parents pull out the it’s not fair you don’t have kids so why should you have that time off or xmas is for families (yes which is why we are going to visit them arsehole).
Post # 19
j_jaye : “I have lost count of the number of times it is assumed that because I don’t have kids I will do overtime or weekends/nights and been made to feel guilty (they try but it doesn’t work) for saying no. Same with leave on significant holidays. We try and visit the inlaws every two years for xmas which means I plan ahead and book that time as soon as the leave dates are open. You will not believe the number of times parents pull out the it’s not fair you don’t have kids so why should you have that time off or xmas is for families (yes which is why we are going to visit them arsehole). “
UGH! That just really sucks. How infuriating. My friend had an interview once for a health care position during which the interviewer actually told her, “I want to be upfront and let you know that we accommodate parents more than non-parents for holidays and overtime.” I couldn’t believe that. And I couldn’t believe she thought she was being so gracious by saying that during the interview.
My boss once told me that she didn’t understand why another employee wouldn’t take on an overtime project because, “She’s not married and doesn’t have any kids…what else is she going to do?” I was like, HELLO, I’m in the same boat, we have lives too!
Post # 20
Thanks for all the responses, Bees! It’s been reassuring reading your posts 🙂
Post # 21
I want to have a good balance, especially since my husband and I work opposite shifts. Sadly, everyone thinks that because I don’t have kids I can work all the time. It really bothers me sometimes because I do have a family, just not kids.
Post # 22
Here’s a recent advice-type article on a topic many of us CFBC bees can relate to:
Ask a Boss: I’m Expected to Work Extra Because I Don’t Have Kids!
Post # 23
Could someone tell me what the BC stands for in CFBC? D: Been trying to figure it out for a while now! SORRY, probably totally stupid question.
NEVERMIND. JUST GOT IT.
Post # 24
We manage quite well on work life balance issues. For me it helps that I have a supportive boss who doesn’t assume that just because I don’t have children that I don’t have a life. Which is good, because I know other managers in my organisation are not the same. I also have set very firm boundaries for myself, because if you don’t, then you get walked all over all the time.
My partner could do with better work life balance, but he is working on it. His company also don’t make the assumption that childless = no life.
It helps that we live in a country where labour laws are quite strict and there are plenty of safeguards in place.
Post # 25
At the moment ours is pretty good. We’re both within walking distance of our workplaces, which I think helps a lot. In terms of stress, I have the more stressful job, and at certain times of the year have to work a lot of overtime; however, I can take that time in lieu (without it negatively impacting my job), so this summer for instance I accrued an additional 8 days of leave, so was off for 3 weeks and still have 2 days to take at the end of the month.
In terms of ambition, I used to be very ambitious, wanted a high-flying, highly-paid, well-respected career. Now, I’ve found my priorities have changed. I just want a job that is interesting and stimulating, and that pays enough for us to eventually buy a property, and afford to travel; around £30k would be plenty. OH is even less ambitious than me (though I think this is partly a confidence issue), but again, aspires to earnings a similar figure, which would afford us the lifestyle we want, with enough to save.
Someone I went on school with is on £300k a year, with her partner on £200k. While I wouldn’t mind that type of money (who wouldn’t?!) the stress and hours that come with it just don’t appeal, esp because I have health issues including CFS and so working 12 hour days on a regular basis would make me really ill; money isn’t everything. That much I’ve learnt.