CFBC-Do you let people know you aren't having children?

posted 2 years ago in No Kids
Post # 2
Member
5003 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m not CFBC but my best friend is, and she’s really open about not wanting bio kids. She’s pretty similar to you in that she may adopt eventually, but she doesn’t tend to go into all the details with everyone – just, “Nope, our dog is enough of a kid for us.” or something to that effect. She’s a teacher, so people find it doubly weird that she doesn’t want kids. 

Post # 4
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

bee123456789 :  depends who it is – there are time that I ignore it and smile politely, but most of the time I tell people we’ve chosen not to have children. i tell them because the presumption that every woman wants to be a mother really just irks me, and i’d like to do my part to change that stereotype. i feel that the more woman who are open about being CFBC, the more noramlized it will be. so yes, i usually say something. depending on the situation, i’ll say something like, “oh, well we’re not having children, but i can imagine it’s ____!”. we also very much love our fur babies and plan to have dogs and cats for the rest of our lives, so where it’s appropriate I might make a comment about having fur babies instead, “oh, we’ve decided to just have fur babies instead!”. or if i’m with someone who i’ve already told i’m not having children, and they just don’t let it go, i use the fur babies as a snarky response, “well dogs don’t wear diapers, so i don’t need to worry about that!”

Post # 5
Member
771 posts
Busy bee

catskillsinjune :  this! I’m sick of the stereotype too so I just tell people how it is. There are quite a few men at work who just say I’ll change my mind, which is hilarious since OH had a vasectomy a couple of months back. People really should butt out of other people’s reproductive choices.

Post # 6
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

Everyone knows. I’m not shy about it. If people talk to me about details of pregnancy, I usually say something like, “Oh, gross, thank god I never have to experience that.” If people hint at me having kids, I say, “Don’t count on it.” 

Post # 7
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

bee123456789 :  we get is a lot. Everytime someone in the family says they are waiting for us to have kids I just say “well grab a book. You’ll be waiting quite a while”

I have also used the furbaby is my baby line. I think it’s incredibly rude for people to assume you’re going to start popping out babies or even want them at all, just because you are married! Ugh! Like were just here to marry and breed. **** that. Even when I went to update my name at the bank, the banker was prompted to ask me if I wanted to open a childrens savings account for the future. F*** OFF! So inappropriate. What if i couldnt HAVE children. Now youve made the situation awkward for everyone…

Post # 9
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Since you may consider adopting too, “until the children that are already here to experience life are taken care of, I won’t be adding to the population problem.”

Post # 10
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

bee123456789 :  We’re CFBC for the future bc our lifestyle is pretty awesome and we have no need to disrupt it with anymore mini humans. Son is 19, daughter is nearly 13 and we’re happy with that. This wasn’t an issue until the wedding. The first thing at least 6 people said to us was, “So when are you going to start having more kids?” Never, we’re done. “What?! Really? No more at all?” I didn’t stutter…😒 idk why people assume that has to be a next step for everyone or a mandatory goal in life but having to repeat myself or explain such a personal decision is annoying. Honestly if I’d known before what I do now I would have been perfectly fine CFBC from the start.

Post # 11
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I don’t get upset at the questions. My husband & I already have kids from prior marriages but we still got the question when we got married. We just told them we’re not having any more kids. NBD.

Post # 12
Member
1610 posts
Bumble bee

bee123456789 :  I am CFBC, while I’m pretty straight about it all… I also don’t go all out blabbing it to everyone. Because… well it’s none of their business what I’m doing reproductively! 

If say people in work or family say about me having kids I correct them, straight up. I hate the stereotypical responses such as ‘you’ll feel differently when you get older’ or the classic ‘you will change your mind’, how? How the hell do you know better than myself about it? Lol, don’t tell me what I will be doing with myself please. For those I kind of have to bite my tongue and say, no I will not be changing my mind on this. Hate how people seem to think it’s a given that I want kids just because I’m a woman. 

Post # 13
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I just tell people “oh we aren’t going to have kids” sometimes they say I’ll change my mind but I’m almost 30 and have never wanted kids. This also usually comes from people my parents age who already had 1-2 kids by now. So if you knew at 25 you wanted kids, why is it hard to understand that by 30 I know I don’t?

Post # 14
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

sqldudette : “So if you knew at 25 you wanted kids, why is it hard to understand that by 30 I know I don’t?”  

This exactly! Thank you!

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