(Closed) CFBC…do you still have names picked out just in case??

posted 5 years ago in No Kids
Post # 31
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve got a hormonal IUD, and I’m keeping it- We’ve got big plans over the next 5 years (our dream is to take a backpacking trip across the US and maybe into Canada), and a baby doesn’t fit in with them at all. We’ve discussed the possibility, but as of right now, it’s an absolute no.  That said, it’s fun to name things, and it’s fun sometimes to entertain life’s hypothetical little what-ifs without needing to give up on your dreams, sooo if we have a boy within the next 10 (and after 5), we’ve decided on Stirling, Hiram or Quil. For a girl, we’ll go with something like Emogene, Coraleigh, Eudora or Maiven.

Post # 32
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

No, because I’m CFBC; and that means there will never be an ‘oops’. What even IS an ‘oops’? I mean, we have a vast range of contraception available these days, plus abortion, plus adoption… I don’t really get how it’s possible to accidentally have a baby. I’m on hormonal BC and use it perfectly, and looking into sterilisation long-term (haven’t bothered yet because a) I will need to stay in hormonal BC anyway because I have endo b) will likely have to pay for that reason and c) hormonal BC and abortion are both free in the UK); should my contraception fail I would have an abortion. If for some reason I was too far into the pregnancy to have an abortion, I would put it up for adopted. There is NO way I will ever be a parent… 

So yeah, no names here. I do, however, have loads of dog names picked out, depending on breed, sex etc. My favourites are Sultan and Toto if I had two boy pugs. For a boy Rottweiler I like Max, for a girl something ‘delicate’ like Tilly. Even then though I wouldn’t name a puppy straight away, I think you need to see what they’re personality is like first. 

Post # 33
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

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Mrs.Sugabee2003 :  I would never take on the responsibility of a child full-time, for a vast number of reasons, the primary one being that I would HATE it, and as such, there would be many other people far better suited to that role. This is something that has actually come up before: close friends have asked if, hypothetically, I would look after their children should something happen to them, and the answer is no. It would be unfair on the child,because I would resent it. 

ETA: I  also cannot imagine a situation where I would actually be asked to do this, for real. Everyone I know has large families and lots of friends, the majority of whom adore children and would happily take on someone else’s child if necessary. I mean, for me to even be in a position where someone asked there would have had to be some major disaster where a whole bunch of people (family, extended family, friends) all died, and I was the only person left.. And even then, my answer would still be ‘no’. I have chosen not to have children, ever; other people’s children are not my responsibility. 

Post # 34
Member
1598 posts
Bumble bee

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littlehatjones :  No, to be honest I have already thought about that scenario and I wouldn’t have the child if there was a whoops. My feelings towards children I feel would be the same and it wouldn’t be fair on me or my fiancé or the child. 

Post # 35
Member
3163 posts
Sugar bee

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barbie86 :  I would love a rottie named something really delicate like Muffin ha. And a horse called Mustafa. Pet names are so fun to pick out! 

Post # 36
Member
2119 posts
Buzzing bee

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j_jaye :  I actually agree with this. I think having names picked for children you only want only emphasises the “oh you’ll change your mind” stance. There is a really damn good way to not get pregnanct if you are really CFBC – sterilisation, or the use of more than one form of contraception. How likely do you think it is to get pregnant using a condom and taking the pill correctly? 

I considered myself CFBC but although that is still my ideal lifestyle, I am marrying someone who DOES want a child. I would rather lose my fantasy life without children than lose my man, so I have stopped referring to myself as CFBC. I am now childless for now. 

Post # 37
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

DH and I are CFBC now, but before I met him I’m pretty sure I just hadn’t thought too in-depth about whether or not I was going to have kids. I definitely made a pretty detailed first name/middle name list at some point just for fun lol.

I had to look through the computer to find it but here it is: Nicholas James, Riley Cole, Benjamin Adam, Aiden Jacob, and Nathan Ryan for a boy. For a girl I had Leanna Marie, Corinne Paige, Nicole Jeanette, Vanessa Hailey, and Julia Claire.

Post # 38
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - The Meadows

I have names picked out, and that’s only because I thought when I was younger, the maternal instinct would hit me. It still hasn’t. But the names are still there. Thinking if we get a set of cats I’m going to name them that. Harrison and Lennon were my names for a boy and girl, respectively. Can you tell I’m a huge Beatles fan? haha

Post # 40
Member
880 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

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littlehatjones :  

I’m not sure why you would believe that a thread like this would be well received in the childfree section. You can post whatever you want but it’s silly to think that talking about baby names to women who don’t want children makes any sense. 

Post # 41
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

Wow, I don’t think it’s fair at ALL to imply that anyone who isn’t 100% decided on their choice that they’re not allowed to call themselves CFBC or to post here under that title. What about the fence-sitters? For a lot of people it’s a huge decision that comes with a lot of conflicted emotions, not everyone has the capacity to wholly accept their decision and never look back. I thought this was also a place for those who are struggling with their decision to remain CF as well as those who are happily CF. I’ve been told that even though we lean heavily toward the CFBC spectrum, that grieving the loss of a different type of loss is normal and shouldn’t be shunned, and hell, that could include wondering what I would have possibly named my baby. And clearly the OP meant for this thread to be light-hearted, so some people need to back off. 

Anyway, to actually answer the OP’s question: Yes, we have considered what we would name our child IF for whatever reason in the future we become pregnant. We only have one name that would be used for either boy or girl, and it’s August (Auggie for short). 

Post # 42
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No, and I’m a fence-sitter. But if I became pregnant right now, I would terminate. I do not want a child in my life right now, and if I had one, I would resent having to make sacrifices for something I didn’t want. So no. No hypothetical baby names for me. Not even any hypothetical dog names. Cats are about all I’m willing to take care of right now wink

Post # 43
Member
325 posts
Helper bee

No we are firmly CFBC and if I was pregnant, I would have an abortion. 

Post # 44
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

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littlehatjones :  😂😂😂 Boy, then you must’ve been disappointed when your baby name thread turned into mostly abortion talk! Maybe retry this on the TTC boards? Those ladies could talk about baby names all day long!

Post # 45
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

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TwinkleBoss :  I don’t think anyone has been overly harsh tbh. The OP asked people who are CFBC (NOT fence sitters) what baby names they have in reserve in case of an ‘oops baby’, and posters pointed out that if you are actually CFBC there isn’t such thing as an accidental baby. Accidental pregnancy? Perhaps (though most people I know who are CFBC are super careful with contraception; I mean, I’ve been sexually active for 15 years, have had sex what must be thousands of times, and no ‘accidents’ here). But an accidental baby? No such thing: both abortion and adoption are options. If someone would choose to keep an ‘oops’ pregnancy, then they are simply not CFBC as they are open to the idea of having and raising a child. There is no issue with that: but they shouldn’t label themselves CFBC as frankly it’s people like this who cause issues for those of us who ARE CFBC. It would be like me referring to myself as bisexual because I occasionally indulge in a bit of girl-on-girl porn.

As another poster pointed out, this thread was unlikely to be met with those on here who are actually CFBC sharing baby names, because for the majority of us, it’s not something we’ve ever even paid thought to (like I said, I have a ton of dog names; zero baby names, because zero interest). Further, I think most people had more of an issue with how the question  was framed; there is a difference between asking, say, what baby names CFBC Bees like, and asking what CFBC Bees would name their child should they somehow accidentally birth a child…. 

The topic ‘CFBC…do you still have names picked out just in case??’ is closed to new replies.

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