Post # 16
When I was young, like a kid, I never DID want kids, but I dont think I actively DIDNT either. I remember later childhood early teens I would say “when I have kids I will name them…” and that if I get married my husband has to have siblings so my kids could have cousins (cousins were important to me growing up).
In my late teens, I worked in retail and saw many kids and decided there was no way I wanted them. They were horrible and bratty and uncontrollable and disrespectful and dirty. Coming out of that setting I softened a little and realised a lot of that could be put on the parents too. I probably went back to thinking maybe, when a couple of friends started haing kids and I realised I was good with kids and liked them.
I think its only since being with my Fiance Ive considered it practically, beyond just “I dont want them”. Early on I thought we might have kids. But the longer we are together and talk about it.4 we are on the same page that the ‘idea’ is nice but we dont want, need, or feel capable of the committment and changes kids would entail.
Maybe this will change some time in the future, but for now.and indefinitely, things will stay as they are.
Post # 17
Interesting that you mentioned kids are ‘boring’. I’ve always found them insufferable. I really crave intelligent conversation & have no patience for kid babble.
Post # 18
wow!! so nice to see likeminded women!
Growing up I was never AGAINST having kids, but at many times I wondered if something was wrong with me, because I don’t have that baby mania gene, everyone else seems to have. I had no desire to become a mother, no urge to have kids, no interest in being pregnant (I am actually quite repulsed by it) and no desire to play with baby dolls, or discuss baby names.
As a teacher and adult, I really enjoy kids. Especially tiny cute and fat babies (the quiet inquisitive ones, not the whiney brats) and older kids – teenagers are who I teach most. But I just have ZERO desire to have my own. I enjoy my freedom. I enjoy having money to spend. I enjoy having the house to ourselves. I like traveling unfettered by kids. I like silence.
When I tell my mother I do not plan to have kids, she is always highly offended and either scoffs at my choice, or becomes very angry. Certainly I am alienated amongst my female relatives. *sigh* oh well.
Post # 19
I knew for certain at age 18 after having moved away from my overbearing Christian mother. My new ‘adoptive’ mom ran a daycare out of her home. That convinced me further. I then became sterilized at age 21.
And as a youngster I did not like babies nor babysat for spending money.
Post # 20
- Wedding: November 2016 - Garden
Well a traumatic event happened to me at school when I was around 15. Decided after that I wouldn’t ever even consider of getting married or have children…. But it took just the right guy to come along and get rid of my fear of sex and not wanting children. I still DONT want children. I think they’ll be a bother (personal reasons)…I just don’t see myself as a mother. 🙁 I just don’t. But my Fiance says ill be a great mother one day…. So we’ll see.
Post # 21
Oooh, I hadn’t thought of that–babysitting! I did it once in high school & decided never again.
Post # 22
I was 19. I thought I would want kids until I grew up enough to realize the strain on finances and possibly on my future relationship. I haven’t wanted any since!
Post # 23
When I was very young I wanted to be a mother. I have a very distinct memory of daydreaming about my future self as a mom and I used to “nurse” my baby dolls (my mother was nursing my sister so I was just copying). But once I started to reach puberty everything flipped. I realized I was so bad with kids and uncomfortable around them. The older I get, the less I want them. I’m lucky my husband feels the same way.
Post # 24
I’ve just never wanted children- so all of my life, I suppose!
Post # 25
I was 4 years old! I only wanted to be married. 🙂 I remember asking where babies came from, and my mom said it happened when two people got married and loved each other so much that a baby came. I asked her if I had to have a baby if I got married and she said no. I was elated! Fast forward 32 years and I see so many unhappy children in society and unhappy parents. Due to my profession, I also see the tribulations some parents must go through with children. I prefer a life free from that, and I couldn’t be happier! 🙂 A PP said someone told her that she’d change her mind one day; I’ve heard that, too, and I also muttered under my breath, “No, I won’t!” And I haven’t. 🙂
Post # 26
I think I was around 11 or 12. The thought of what a baby could do to my body was horrifying. And then I became older and realized that a woman’s fiancial status drops when they have kids. Then there was the whole issue of a thing needing me all the time.
Post # 27
Looking back, I knew from a pretty early age. I remember being 7 or 8 and saying things like “I want to have 10 kids and give them all up for adoption when they turn 5!” I’m 30 now and not much has changed. I’ve always wanted to have a *baby,* in the most literal sense. I love the cuddly, sweet ages, even with the craziness of toddler-hood, but once they’re 5 or 6, I’m over it lol.
Funny enough, I work as a full time nanny, so I willingly spend a lot of time with children, but I love the fact that I hand them off at 6:30. My wife and I love the fact that I get my fill of baby snuggles but we keep our freedom lol.
Post # 28
- Wedding: May 2016 - San Clemente Church, Italy
I never thought about it. I never heard a ticking clock, never felt a tingle, an itch or anything. When I was 35 my doctor asked me if I’d thought about it and I said no. Lots of single professional women in my circle delayed having kids, so there was never any social pressure.
I didn’t have the best mom and I’ve always said, “I never want to default into parenthood”. The only pushback I ever got was from my brother many years ago who said it was selfish. I told him it was more selfish to bring a child into the world that I didn’t really, really want.
I didn’t make the choice because I hate children. I did it because I love them and I would never leave some innocent baby hanging in the balance while I rolled the dice that some magical maternal instinct would kick in.
Post # 29
I have never wanted natural children. My parents both passed when I was a teen, and this only more strong re-enforced that belief. We will adopt or foster older children when we are ready (not any time soon) but I don’t need some genetic copy of myself to feel like a real adult. My Fiance is sterile so he doesn’t really have a choice on his end.
Post # 30
From the time I was I’d say about 7 or 8 I just knew I’d never want kids, and ever since have been adament and vocal about it. Like I just knew being a parent wasn’t for me.