(Closed) Cfbc question

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
3455 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

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motherbee33 :  Stay. In. Your. Lane.

Whether or not she ever changes her mind about having kids, or decides she’s ok with being a stepmom, is none of your concern. What you, as her friend, should be concerned about is “is she being treated well by her partner?” and “is she making the choices she is making freely?” 

If the answer to those two questions are yes, that’s all that matters.

Post # 32
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

Not now. 

I did previously and his ex was a legit psycho. So nothing about the kids but the package deal sucked and wrote that off (we didn’t breakup bevause of her though).

 

Post # 33
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

Why do people always come at us CFBC with “What if you change your mind?” 

What if YOU change YOUR mind about having them?!?!?! That is 1000x more concerning to me. But I’ve never asked because I think its rude.

Post # 34
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

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janne91 :  OMG! Yes to what you just said in your 2nd part! Love it!!!!!!!

Post # 35
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

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sweetdee89 :  

It crosses my mind every time this topic comes up! 

Post # 36
Member
734 posts
Busy bee

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janne91 :  It’s a good point! I know there are plenty out there but they just won’t admit it. Actually there are quite a few articles out there regarding moms who regret having kids.

Post # 37
Member
3403 posts
Sugar bee

I agree that it’s rude to ask anyone their intentions about having kids, not having kids, having 1 kid, having 5 kids.  

OP, I can see where your concern is coming from, but it’s not your place to get involved.  She said she does not want kids and that is where the conversation ends. 

I went from wanting to have children to not wanting them and the amount of times my mother has asked me “if I’m absolutely sure” is absurd.  

 

Post # 38
Member
3403 posts
Sugar bee

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sweetdee89 :  I have many friends who are great moms, but will admit that they didn’t realize how much their lives would change for the worse and I have a couple that have even admitted that they regret having kids. 

So it happens.  Ha.

Post # 39
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

My huband was CFBC, and when he met me I had an almost 7 year old daughter.  I was adamently on the “no MORE children” bandwagon, and although he wasn’t really looking for a wife and step-daughter, just to date really, once we started getting serious he started being open to being a step parent. Obviously, he decided to become one, because we got married.  It’s been an adjustment for him but he’s doing well.  She’s 10.5  now, and we’re looking forward to after she’s out of the house and we can have  the “childfree” part of our relationship. 🙂

Post # 40
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Mount Princeton hot springs

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motherbee33 :  before reading this post I would have considered myself CFBC but my husband has two college age and older children that I am technically a stepmother to, although we mostly laugh about that title because I had no part in raising them and am just not very maternal. How old do you think you need to be to call yourself CFBC? You said you were worried because she is younger but I think most people who are CFBC knew at a young age that that part of life wasn’t something they were interested in. 

Post # 42
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

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motherbee33 :  I haven’t been aggressive on your thread and mean this with no hate- just curious- why so you think it worrisome to not want kids in 20s? and if someone asked you if you worry you will change your mind about having your kids how would that make you feel? also, why did you decide to have them? is it just a case of wanting a family? 

Im genuinely asking coz I am considering turning it around to others when I get interrogated next. 

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