(Closed) CFBC – what happens when you are old?

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 2
10100 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
Carolsays :  

I’m CFBC And very happy I made that choice.  I am old and I can’t imagine having children with the expectation that they will be there for me in my old age.

They will have their own lives, careers, and families.  By the time you’re 90, your “kids” will be enjoying senior discounts themselves.

If you have spent any time visiting a nursing home, you would have a good picture of how “devoted” people’s kids can be.

Certainly, some seniors enjoy happy relationships with their kids, but they are likely the exceptions.

This is a selfish reason to have kids.



Post # 3
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

People have friends, you know that right? You don’t have to be lonely just because you have no blood relatives alive. And having children is no garuntee they will be around for you when you are old. 

I’m not CFBC but this seems like such a ridiculous question. Having children does not ensure being surrounded by people who love you anymore than not having children means you will have no one when you are old.

Post # 4
793 posts
Busy bee

Not even a little bit, lol. I am and have  always been very self sufficient. Without children our disposable income is pretty high. We will have enough money for a very nice assisted living spot. My neice and nephew can have all my stuff when I’m dead, if they want it and if they don’t who cares I’m dead. My 90 year old great Aunt just started a relationship with a new boyfriend, so its not like once you turn 70 you no longer have a social life.  I decided to be CFBC in my 20’s, long before I met my husband. I do have an adult stepson so I may have grandchildren but even if I don’t, I know that I made the right decision for me.

Post # 5
1668 posts
Bumble bee

I can only name 2 people I know whose family personally cares for elderly members. Everyone else has thrown them in nursing homes- and rarely visit unless it’s a holiday.

Post # 6
489 posts
Helper bee

Not CFBC, but if one’s reason to have children is to not be lonely when they are old…well that’s not a very good reason. There are many estranged families and dynamics in which that just isn’t a reality. It’s also an unfair expectation of the children.

Relationships are very important in life, but it doesn’t have to be parent-child. That’s why people should invest in relationships with other relatives, their siblings, friends and others. No one wants to be lonely, but you shouldn’t have children thinking that will solve the problem.

Post # 7
540 posts
Busy bee

Child free people don’t have to worry about being alone in old age. They’ll be living it up in their swanky retirement homes that they can afford for not spending lots of money on children. Lol 

Post # 8
1116 posts
Bumble bee

My grandmother buried two of her children as adults. Having kids does not guarantee that they will outlive you and take care of you in your old age.

Post # 9
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What happens? You’ll have a shit load more money to enjoy your golden years with! 

Post # 10
3259 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

What happens if your children die tragically before you?

What happens if they live in other states or countries?

What happens if you have a bad relationship with your children?

What happens if your children can’t afford to take care of you?

We come into the world alone, and we leave it alone. My parents never took care of their parents when they were old. I’m an only child and I don’t live close to my parents, so they’ll probably be alone too. I suppose I think of it as a part of life. If I don’t have kids, and I happen to live to be very old, I suppose I’ll move into a retirement home in my last days and live it up with some other old people. 

Post # 11
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Swaneset Bay Resort & Country Club

As a nurse in residential care I can attest to those saying family rarely visits. We have only a handful whose family regularly comes. Otherwise for a majority their family comes for major holidays and maybe if they are lucky their birthday. It’s actually quite sad. 

Post # 12
634 posts
Busy bee

No hate to those who have kids, but what happens when the children you raise abandon you in a shitty nursing home?

Just throwing this out for discussion.

Post # 13
673 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have kids yet. I’m 25 and my fiance and I have decided we will either have none or one kid.

Without children or grandchildren, do you worry about being alone, not having someone very close who cares a lot about you?

My fiance managed a retirement community for 5 years. He saw first hand how many elderly people that have children who do not visit. He said the MOST one child would visit her mother was once a month, the majority visited far less (think like once a year) or not at all. When these people would pass it was his job to call and notify the children. The same children who never cared to come visit their elderly parents. Having kids does not mean you won’t be lonely, it actually might do the opposite. I imagine those old folks felt even MORE lonely because they know they have kids and grandkids who are CHOOSING not to visit as opposed to the people who don’t have kids. Besides, I think having kids so you won’t be “alone” later in life is a terrible (and very selfish) reason to have a child. 

Post # 14
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ll hang out in the old folks home with all the other grannies whose kids don’t come see them I guess. 🤷‍♀️ 

Post # 15
396 posts
Helper bee

As a nurse, the number of kids who can’t be bothered to see their elderly (even when they are dying!!) parents tells me this is a ridiculous reason to sway your decision about children. 

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