(Closed) CFBC – what happens when you are old?

posted 2 years ago in No Kids
Post # 61
7765 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

slomotion :  that is my plan. Also, for servitude. I am going to train them to do all the chores from a young age so I can sit back and relax. I’m sure that plan won’t backfire at all.

Post # 62
3327 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Carolsays :  I don’t have kids and yes I worry about being alone in a care home or maybe on the streets, who knows.

Just because you have kids doesn’t mean they will visit you. I know first hand. 

Post # 63
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013


rusticchic212 :  “I am CFBC and one of the only reasons I would want to have a kid or two is because I am scared of what will happen when I’m in my twilight years if Darling Husband passes first, and I feel concerned for him if I pass first. However, I know that is a selfish reason to have kids and that even having kids doesn’t guarantee lack of lonliness in your old age. So I’m really appreciating all of these responses.”

Ditto!  I especially appreciate hearing from those who work in nursing homes.  

However, I think one piece of perspecitive is worth keeping in mind.  Most of the respondends on this board are probably in their 20s or 30s.  So not much first hand experience here of growing old child free. Probably best to seek opinions from some older folks as well for a more well rounded perspective.

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Post # 64
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

slomotion :  No, unforutnatley that’s selfish.  But if you just need extra farm hands, then it’s totally fine.  

Post # 65
7436 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

slomotion :  it is not selfish as long as you allow them to keep ten percent of the money they make.

OP: you argue that not visiting parents in a nursing home doesn’t mean they are bad children (which I agree with) because perhaps they only got together for holidays prior to the nursing home. This right here seems to answer your original question of “what to do when you are old if you don’t have kids.” Move into a nursing home…

Post # 66
2473 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Everyone covered all there is to say and I’m in the younger crowd. Darling Husband is older than me and has 0 intention of taking care of his mother when she is older. She is one of the most unpleasant people and has a very strained relationship with Darling Husband. His brother probably will not either and his sister is a total hypochondriac who needs taking care of herself. So it echoes what PPs have already said. I love my mom but she would stress me out WAY too much for her to live with us in old age so she would have to go to a retirement home. And that’s coming from someone who does have a good relationship with her so even the opinions that say if you have a strained relationship they send you there isn’t true. None of us asked to be here so it should never be in a parent’s mind that their children should take care of them. Darling Husband and I plan on having only 1 child or none but have not thought that if we have one they will take care of us. I have more fear to lose my husband than to be old and not have kids. 

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