Post # 1
I know this sounds really awful, but I am having second thoughts about having my best friend as my bridesmaid and I have 5 months to go until the big day!
We live in different time zones and she has a very demanding job. Before I moved away, it was easier to keep in touch and since I’ve moved away, it’s been pretty quiet. Since the engagement, it’s been pretty tough feeling all “rosey” planning the bridesmaid dress with her, as she is quite a demanding person and she was trying to influence on the colour scheme and style…. It took months until we agreed on a dress colour and now I want to change it again.
I will admit I should have been more assertive and take control on the decision making process, but I can’t change the past. She has made comments like “I am not your slave on your wedding day” and called me bridezilla only months after our engagement and last week, she ignored my e-mail and when I asked my fiance to chase up, she e-mailed back in a chit-chatty tone and when she eventually replied to my e-mail, it was just one sentence reply.
I can’t help with how I feel inside, but I got really upset and spent a day eating all the junk food that I only eat when I am upset. Also my skin is having some stress-related rash for the past 6 months now and I am finally recognising that I am “stressed out” and really want to eleimiate all areas of stress as much as possible…
So I have e-mailed her to say I want to change my decision and have my two sisters as my bridesmaids, but still want her to be involved with the wedding. She has e-mailed back obviously upset and asked me to have a think again.
I know I sound like a big fool here, but I want to know if any other brides-to-be have been in similar situations as me? What did you do? Is it a crime to change your mind??? 🙁
Post # 3
I think trying to handle this over email was a really bad idea. Regardless of your ultimate decision, you owe her at least a phone call to discuss. Emailing someone to demote them isn’t the way to treat a friend,
Post # 4
Look my Maid/Matron of Honor was going to be out of town (well she is from Spain) the big day so I had to make adjustments… then we moved the big day earlier and yes she can make it but I wasn’t kicking someone I already had in the wedding out. So here is my advice. IT IS YOUR AND FI’S DAY. She will have her own wedding to plan later and yes it might mean you are not in her wedding but it sounds to me like if she can’t play the part of a bridesmaid she needs to go. You need to be happy not anxious… let it go and let her go.
Post # 5
Unfortunately, changing your mind and kicking someone out of your bridal party is rude and a friendship ending move. I’m a bit confused though – why are you kicking her out? It sounds like you had some difficulty picking out a dress and that she ignored one email, but was there something else? Are you asking her to help out a lot with the wedding? Neither of those reasons you listed are good enough to warrent kicking her out. Unless, of course, you have no interest in being her friend – but that doesn’t sound like the case here.
Post # 6
@11112hkwedding: “Also my skin is having some stress-related rash for the past 6 months now and I am finally recognising that I am “stressed out” and really want to eleimiate all areas of stress as much as possible…”
I am sorry you are stressed but everything you have mentioned isn’t something that should be that stressful and warrant kicking someone out of your bridal party. If you are experiencing stress in life particularly around the wedding I really don’t think it is fair to lay all the blame on this friend. Since you said the bolded it kind of makes me think that you have been stressing and she is reacting to that especially since she used the term bridezilla.