- 7 months ago
- Wedding: June 2019
We always wanted to do a smaller wedding (130 people) and we told our families our plan and we booked a venue that holds 150 people max back in April. This is the first wedding in our families so there is a lot of excitement and to them 130 people sounded big! Now that we are really starting to plan for the June wedding (on semester break- time to plan) we realized how out of control it has become over the past few months where we have not been able to do any real planning!! All of the people we (we as in us and our families) kept adding because of friend groups and family requests and the “it’s just one more person” has turned into a lot of extra people so our list is over 200!! I talked to the venue the other day and there is absolutely no room to go over 150! We keep going over the list and there is no way we can get it down to 130 without hurting feelings, breaking up groups and making awkward interactions at work and family events. The wedding has gotten so much bigger than we wanted and it’s getting REALLY stressful (& too costly/ over budget!)! I have been up for days stressing about how it has ballooned and gotten out of control! On top of all of this we are both working full time and in graduate school at night, so we do not have time for a big wedding (stress ) and even wedding planning ((we both got into grad school after we set the wedding date.))
This new situation has us REALLY wanting to cut it down and have a smaller immediate family/ close friends only wedding (~80 people max). We are finding it’s easier to cut groups and make it smaller than to go through the list and pick and choose to remove 70 people. We have BIG families—each side submitting 70+ family, so for us 80 is small. We did the list with just immediate family (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles , close cousins—not all our cousins) and we each get our 5 closest friends and we have it set to 80 people now. Our venue is priced per person with no min. head count—so we can have the smaller wedding and not worry about a contract. The only issue is over the past few months we asked for some addresses and talked to some people about the wedding—-but that was when we were planning to have a more formal wedding! No save the dates have been sent yet—so I am hoping it’s not too late and people understand! How do I navigate this situation that we changed the plan from a party to a family event?