(Closed) Change Ring Setting?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What should we do about this engagement ring setting?
    Keep it in the original antique setting : (31 votes)
    61 %
    Spend $3000 to make it my "dream ring" : (20 votes)
    39 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think it might feel more “you” with a wedding band. Have you tried any on yet?

    Post # 4
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Ahhh that’s so tough! I totally feel you on wanting it to feel like “your” ring, and wanting it to be your dream ring! Me and my fiance picked my ring out together, and a couple months later I realized it wasn’t “me”. After contemplating for a few more months, I decided to change my setting (with his permission of course). I loooove it now and don’t regret it at all. I put a gemstone in my original setting and wear it on my right hand. Maybe you could do something like that?

    Post # 5
    Member
    331 posts
    Helper bee

    Maybe you can flip your engagement ring to your right hand and splurge on a really nice wedding band that’s completely your style??

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Maybe you can compromise by taking just the diamond out of the setting to put in a new ring and then maybe have a colored gemstone put into the original setting to wear on your right hand. If your not going to be happy with that setting then I say change the ring, you are the one having to wear it. I wouldn’t totally destroy or get rid of the original setting though.

    Post # 8
    Member
    331 posts
    Helper bee

    I can definitely see why you’re conflicted. I know I’d want something that feels like “mine,” too.

    My line of thinking is that you don’t just marry the man, you marry the family. I think I would just suck it up to keep the peace in that I’d hate to create a little irk in things that would be a sore point over the years, even if it doesn’t cause an outright uproar.

    I voted for keep it in original setting since the main stone is the style you like and don’t seem to hate the setting (sounds like you’re just “meh” about it).

    Since you want a plain platinum band, perhaps you could allocate the funds onto another piece of jewelry that will represent this time so it will always be special for you? Like a pair of diamond studs or a right-hand ring of another variety?

    Post # 9
    Member
    3063 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    spcollegegirl18  – That’s what I was going to say! I think that’s the best of both worlds. You’ll still have the antique setting and it could be worn as a right hand ring, but you’ll have the wedding set YOU want.

    Post # 10
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would get a new setting.. I think wearing the center stone should be meaningful enough to them and you could even gift the antique setting with gemstone in it to his mom, maybe even as a mother of groom gift as a special thing to take away some of the sting that you changed it.  You don’t want to start resenting the ring feeling pressured into it.

    Post # 11
    Member
    452 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I get why it’s important to his family for you to keep the original setting, but at the same time, if the style is neither you nor your upcoming FI’s personal taste that kind of seems unfair.  I’ve always thought that with ‘big’ things like this, as much as grandma’s loved it when it was theirs, they would want you to love it as yours too.No grandma would want you to look down at your ring and go “eh.”, especially when it has the capability of making your heart sing.  She thought it was beautiful, she would want you to think it was beautiful.  Does he have another sibling or cousin? Maybe you could reset the center stone as you please, and his sibling/cousin could get the setting for their future someday fiancée/engagement ring.  If it makes you feel any better we purchased my husband’s old family farm.  It took a long time before I was comfortable saying “hey!  This is my home! ”.  Heck, I still get the stink eye when I change some things even though we paid a more than far price for the place.  It’s just the cursed part of having the wonderful gift of getting to be part of something that carries family importance. Best wishes to the two of you

    Post # 13
    Member
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    IMOif youre NOT totally in love with it, CHANGE it!

    i went through two other rings before i actually kept my actual ring, if you guys can afford DO IT, its YOURS and youre gna wear it for the rest of your life or for a long time lol.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I hate to vote with keeping it as is. I am just a sucker for the history attached to it.

    What about a dream right hand ring?

    Post # 15
    Member
    878 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I got my FMIL’s old ring (she has a new platinum one) It’s a boring solitaire which I hate. Can’t wait to reset it. I’m not going to stir the waters until after the wedding though. I say reset it, you wear it every day for the rest of your life, you should have a setting you like. I agree with the others that the setting means so much to your FI’s family you should keep it and give it to someone to reset or keep it yourself.

    Post # 16
    Member
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Ohhh I don’t envy your situation. Personally, I would buy a different ring entirely because changing the ring would not be worth the drama and potential hard feelings. While I love the history behind it, I don’t think it would ever feel like “my” ring. I would buy an EC solitaire and one day upgrade to a 3 stone.

    Or you could look in to affordable diamond simulants, or moissanite etc.

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