Post # 1
We had our tasting a few weeks ago. We chose Option 1 because Fiance is not a fan of seafood. I just found out that my mom changed it after we left to the option that my Fiance doesn’t like. My dad just told me this. He was with her after Fiance and I left (parents are divorced). She is paying for our reception, but she has said over and over that it is our decision.
How do I handle this? This isn’t the first time she has overstepped. She didn’t want me to address my invites, she wanted to do it all. She has a vision for our Out of Town bags when I have something I want to do. I feel awkward saying something, because she is paying for so much, but I am starting to feel like it is not our wedding anymore. She has told me that I can tell her anything. I know she didn’t get to have her dream wedding, and this will be the only big one that will be thrown.
I love my mom, but I feel really hurt about this. I know it is a risk you take when people help pay for things. I just don’t like the sneakiness.
Post # 3
Well, first of all I would contact the reception venue/caterer to 1) confirm whether your mom made a change, and 2) to make sure it’s changed back to what you want. Be sure to instruct them to only make changes you authorize from here on out.
As far as your mom goes, I would address the situation head on. Ask her if it’s true and why she didn’t tell you. Maybe she thought you really wanted the seafood option but chose a different option because of the expense. It could be that she thinks she’s being helpful.
Post # 4
@sportsgal31: Thanks for the advice. I did e-mail our venue coordinator. She danced around the question a bit. I talked to my mom on the phone today. I said that I was really excited about our food choices. She mentioned that she changed the one, but that was because we offered too much meat. She said she would make it work so Fiance could have Option 1. I mentioned that I really liked our first choices better, and that was what I wanted. She said she would change my plate, but that would be it. I was quiet. She then said we could talk later, and that she loves me. I said I loved her too, and we hung up.
Now, my mom is the one who signed the contract. She is paying, so she does get some say. My big problem with this is that it happened behind our backs. We had verbally agreed on the choices, and when we left, they were changed and we were never told until I did researching on my own. Fiance is upset. He wants to change everything back. I want to, as well. I have had a “go with the flow” attitude with some of the other changes made.
I’m just trying to figure out the best way to approach this. I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but at the same time, I feel taken advantage of.