Post # 1
Hi there! I haven’t posted on any wedding boards. So far, I have had a pretty good idea of what I want and what to do because I am super type A and a consummate planner. That said, I find myself in need of some advice.
My fiancé and I are getting married in late September and planned to take our honeymoon in mid-October. I tend to be the financial planner in our relationship, and felt our dream honeymoon was just out of reach for the time-being, and our second choice made more sense. As our second-choice honeymoon payments creep up, the costs are as well. It’s now to the point it’s going to cost 70% of what our dream one was going to, and it’s making me feel sick to my stomach to spend so much on what would definitely be a fun trip, but not THE trip that we wanted to take.
Now, for the complicating factors. My fiancé was recently hospitalized for nearly a week and had to use a lot of his PTO for the year. Much of our wedding (which is 4 hours from home) and honeymoon would now be unpaid for him, which in its own way, increases the cost of the 2nd choice honeymoon.
What is really complicating things is that we registered for our honeymoon for my bridal shower. I didn’t want to have a shower because there is nothing we needed, but got a bit pressured into having one, and the only thing I could think of to register for was our honeymoon. So people got us things specific to our registry, and the money they put toward it went to our savings fund for the honeymoon. (And I know honeymoon registries are divisive, but I’m not here for an opinion on that, haha. Everyone seemed to love it.)
What makes the most sense, both because of my fiance’s recent illness AND because this honeymoon is rapidly nearing the cost of our dream one, is to just put the dream honeymoon off for a year and cancel the one we have planned in October.
I’m just feeling like because of how we did my bridal shower registry that we are “stuck,” so to speak, taking a trip that is going to be difficult with his work and that just is making me feel worse and worse as it gets closer.
(Sorry for the length of this…)
Post # 2
My husband and I initially postponed our honeymoon for ‘6 months’ because our work schedules were too hectic and just did a mini honeymoon. Unfortunately, life got in the way and our dream honeymoon never happened.
Now that it’s been a year, it really wouldn’t feel like a honeymoon at all anyway. Which also makes it even more difficult to set aside the time (work schedules are still crazy)
That, along with the fact that people specifically contributed to your honeymoon, makes me think you should just go ahead with this one. Take your dream trip a couple of years from now. But taking a trip shortly after the wedding really does have a different feel to it.
Post # 3
Unfortunately, I think you’re stuck because you already made the registry and people have contributed to the honeymoon. I’d be a little peeved if I contributed towards the honeymoon and then the couple was like “just kidding! we’re going to use that money towards a trip in another year!” I know that is not what you’re doing, but if I didn’t know the details you just explained here, it’s how I’d feel.
Can you take a smaller honeymoon? I agree with PP that waiting a year isn’t going to feel like a honeymoon anymore, it’ll just be an anniversary trip. Can you scale back your plan B and take a smaller trip, to save money and save your fiance the unpaid time off?
Post # 4
Thanks for the input. Our wedding is a destination one in the Adirondacks, so I’m thinking we do that, and then maybe just shorten our honeymoon from 9 days to 4 since it’s just a 2 hour plane trip from home. That way, we still go on the trip people contributed toward, but I won’t be resenting it the whole time for being so expensive.
Post # 5
My DH and I ran into a similar situation except we planned to take our dream honeymoon right after the wedding ( 3 days after ). As if got closer we experienced some real anxiety about spending so much when we could put it off until our first anniversary and things weren’t so tight directly after our wedding.
Long story short we bit the bullet and went anyway knowing we’d really have to buckle down when we got back. I have to tell you….I don’t regret our decision one bit. Life will always get in the way and shit happens…often. I love that our married life together started with this amazing trip where we got to just enjoy being married and truly focusing on each other after the craziness of wedding planning etc and before the day to day got in the way.
This wasn’t one of the options so I didn’t vote but…If you’re at 70% of the dream vacation cost, find the additional 30% and just go. You only get one honeymoon and I just don’t think it’ll be the same next year….it wouldn’t have been for us. You’ll resent it less because it’s what you really want.
It’s only money and you’ll recoup faster than you think.
Post # 6
I think shortening your trip sounds like a good compromise! Although if I’d given you money for a trip and then your circumstances changed, I wouldn’t hold it against you for postponing or changing plans. People who love you will be understanding!