(Closed) Changing how you address your in-laws…

posted 6 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Hostess
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve been married over a year now and I STILL have trouble calling them Mom and Dad! Whenever I mention them to Darling Husband, it’s still “Your mom” or “Your dad”. It’s weird to me to have 2 moms and dads. 😛

Post # 4
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I call my inlaws mom and dad, it was weird at first but my sister in law calls them mom and dad too so I felt weird still calling them by their first names.

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That is so sweet that you want to call them Mom and Dad. I am jealous of the relationship you have with your in laws. I personally call them by their first names. I think my Mother-In-Law wants me to call them Mom and Dad because that is how she signs everything, even cards for just me, but I’m not comfortable doing that.

What I think you should do is ask them what they would like to be called after the wedding. 

Post # 6
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

I call my FHs parents by their first names. I would wait to call them mom and dad until they tell you to. 

Post # 7
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My fiance and his siblings call their mom “mami” so I call her Mami Julie. It’s a little harder for my Future Father-In-Law because they call him “papi” but he has the same name as my fiance so it just sounds weird to me if I said Papi Rafael. As of right now I just usually don’t address him because we don’t talk to each other much but if I’m talking to Future Mother-In-Law or someone else in their family I just say Papi and if I’m talking to someone outside the family it’s “my fiance’s father”.

Post # 8
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Some people may not like you addressing them as Mom and Dad so I would ask before you do that. I don’t know maybe your Fi can ask them if you feel weird about it.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable calling my inlaws mom and dad. I call them by their first names. But it’s different for everyone.

Post # 9
Member
13017 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I call them by their first names – but I always have.  I honestly would never call them mom and dad.  I already have a mom and a dad, and to me, it feels disrespectful to my parents to call someone else that (just a personal thing, I have no issue with people who do it).

Post # 10
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I call DH’s parents by their first name and I still do.  (Normally, I would do the Mr./Mrs. [insert last name] but DH’s family is very laidback.)  When I talk to Darling Husband, it’s “your mom/dad” and Darling Husband does the same, too. 

Post # 11
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve know my Fiance since we were 13.  And for most of the those years I’ve called his parents “Scott’s mom” or “Scott’s dad.”  Only in the last year or two have I begun calling them “Teresa” and “Mark.”  I would never call them “mom and dad”, though.  I think that’s sorta weird, imo.  I would just try calling them something new and see how it feels. 🙂

Post # 12
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I call my in-laws by their first names. My husband was still calling my parents Mr. and Mrs. for a couple of months after we got married. My mom finally said, “You don’t have to call us Mr. and Mrs. anymore,” so he finally made the switch over to first names too.

Post # 13
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I call them by their first names….before we got engaged I just avoided calling them anything!

Post # 14
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would ask them what they’d prefer 🙂 That’s what Fiance did.

 

I didn’t have to ask; it was made known early on that they prefer Mom and Dad once we’re married.

 

It’s going to be super weird for me because, while I have divorced parents and LOTS of moms and dads, I’ve always called step parents by their first name and have only ever referred to my mom and dad as mom and dad.

 

AHH! lol

Post # 15
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“Since we’re going to be family, are you comfortable with my calling you John and Jane instead instead of Mr and Mrs?”

Post # 16
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve been calling them by their first names for a long time now, but I’m confused about calling them mom or dad. I could probably get used to it but I would probably only make the switch if they asked, I don’t mind leaving it on a first name basis unless they have a different preference. 

There’s also family drama involved. When my Future Mother-In-Law added me as her daughter on Facebook my mom flipped out on me about how she never gave birth to me etc…I think my Fiance would rather cut his tongue out than call my mom by mom lol, and I really can’t blame him for that. She was terrible to him for almost 10 years, that’s not something you just get over now that we’re marrying.. 

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