(Closed) Changing how you address your in-laws…

posted 8 years ago in Names
Post # 17
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I call FI’s parents by their first names, I will probably continue you do so for a few years at least, or until I feel comfortable calling them anything else. Their FI’s Brother-In-Law calls them mom and dad, but he’s also been married to their middle daugther for 10 years and with her for about 15 years, and his family is a member of the same church so the parents have been friends for a long time as well. 

For now i’m most comfortable calling them by their first names.

Post # 18
13561 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I guess people in my circles haven’t yet adopted calling their in-laws “mom” and “dad.” There’s nothing wrong with it, I’m just not sure I’ll ever be comfortable with it.

Post # 19
1715 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve always called his parents Mom and Dad, same with my friends parents.

Maybe thats a regional thing, because the same can be said for my friends. His brothers already call me sister m.

Post # 20
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I call them by their first names. There was an embarrassing moment about a month into the relationship when I called Mother-In-Law Shannon, forgetting that her name is actually Sharon.  Needless to say I didn’t know I would end up marrying this guy so it’s something I didn’t think would be a big deal.  I am still ashamed.  But hubbies dad called me Alex when my name is Alexis for at least the first 2 months so no harm I guess.   

Post # 21
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would never call my IL’s mom and dad. 1. They’re not my parents and 2. I think that would be insulting to the people who actually raised me. I would also never call them “Mr. and Mrs. Lastname” since that’s way too stuffy to me. They’ve been referred to by their first names since the day I met them. Where I come from, first names are normal. Anything else is strange.

If you think the conversation would be awkward, why don’t you have your Fiance talk to them about it and then report back.

Post # 22
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@csteen85:  I would wait until they tell you otherwise. I call my SO’s parents Mr. and Mrs. ______ but they correct me whenever I do. I still feel a bit weird calling their by their first names lol… but that’s what they want I guess!

Post # 23
5282 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ugh this is still so awkward for me and we have been married for over 3 years, together for a total of 8! 

His parents wanted me to call them Mr. & Mrs. and would even refer to each other in conversations with me as Mr. & Mrs. like “oh its Mr. ___’s birthday” vs. saying his first name. 

Last year my Father-In-Law made a joke because I asked him a question and he said “go ask Mrs. ___ and then says, wait you are Mrs. ____ too!” but never said to start calling them by their first names so it was awkward!!! 

So basically I just try to avoid saying their names at all costs. I wait to ask questions until we make direct eye contact or do the whole “hey you” sort of thing. 

Post # 24
3354 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I addressed them as Mr and Mrs HisLastName for a while when we were dating, but it was I think after three years that my then future Mother-In-Law told me to address them by first name. my mother wants me to call them Mom and Dad because that’s what is appropriate in my culture and also what she calls her Mother-In-Law (my grandfather passed when I was very young). Easy for her to say, since her parents are both no longer here, but it’s very strange to me to call someone else Mom and Dad especially when both my parents are still around.

I call them by first name now, but in light hearted moments  when my SIL and DH say an exasperated “MOM!” I join in and that doesn’t feel weird to me.

I still refer to them as Your mom and Your dad to DH.

Post # 25
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

this is so awkward for me!! I love my in laws, but I have a mom and a dad that I love. They have asked me to call them mom and dad, but they understand that it’s slightly awkward.

I call DH’s parents by their first names currently. I can’t wait until they can just be grandma and grandpa once we have kids!

Post # 26
90 posts
Worker bee

I don’t know what I’d eventually do.  I know both my parents called their in-laws mom and dad.  I’m not sure what SO’s parents call their in-laws, so I’m not sure what they eventually expect to have me call them.  Right now, I make an effort to not call them by any name.  Luckily, we aren’t big card people, so I’ve been able having to avoid writing their names. And I’ve avoided calling them anything for years now.  When talking to other people, who aren’t them, they’re SO’s parents.

Post # 27
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

As much as I love my future in-laws I would never be able to call them mom or dad. I call them by their first name. It just wouldnt be comfortable for me to start doing that, especially since I never had a dad figure in my life, it would be awkward. 

Post # 28
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My Fiance and I have been together for almost 11 years, and he has been calling my mom ‘mama’ for a long time. He refers to my dad as Mr. Dad Firstname but usually just starts talking to him without having to call him anything lol. I think he isn’t ready to call him Dad yet. Maybe after the wedding.

I called his mom ‘mama first name’ for a long time, but all the other son/daughter in-laws call her Ma so I gradually adopted that as well and calling her Ma now feels natural.

Post # 29
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I just call them “mama,” “dad,” and I call FSMIL by her first name. I pretty much always have. Calling them by their first names feels weird to me.

Post # 30
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Fiance and I call our future inlaws buy their first names 🙂 I think it would be a little strange to call my fmil “Mom”.

Post # 31
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I avoided calling them anything when DH and I were dating, and I do the same now.  If I do use names, it’s their first names though.

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