Post # 1
I’m getting married in 10 months and I’m really on the fence about changing my last name, I am glad I still have time to ponder but I wonder if I will ever be able to decide! On the one hand, I am traditional and would love to share that with my future husband, but on the other hand, I am really proud of my last name (Greek background), and am really attached to it. I also have a very supportive family and they are happy with whatever I choose with the exception of my mom who said it would be “nice” if I kept my last name because I’ve always been “Jane Doe” to her, but she is not pushy about the topic. My fiance is also happy with anything I choose but would love for me to share his last name.
Also- hyphenating is not something I’m interested in, so it is either my name, or his name!
Any fellow bee’s that were on the fence? What did you decide?
Post # 3
What about making your maiden name your middle name? Then you’d have both.
Post # 4
I took my maiden name as my middle name, and I absolutely love my new name. Becoming Jane Doe Smith would permit you to share the same last name as your DH while retaining your former identity. It’s actually the formal, traditional manner in which women in the U.S. have changed their names, although I personally know very few women my own age who did this.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
yes, that’s what I’ll be doing…I love my last name. Hyphenating isn’t an option for me…too long and would look awkward.
Post # 6
i’m not exactly on the fence…i always knew i would want to take my husband’s last name. however, over 4 months post-wedding, i still haven’t changed my name. turns out, i feel like i need some time to be ready to do it. i’m lucky that i have a husband who isn’t bothered or offended by this (other than the fact that he recently told me “i never know what name to give people because you refer to yourself as having my last name, but legally your name hasn’t changed!”). i went through a period of feeling like i was…i dont’ know…almost betraying my family or i was abandoning them by changing my name. since then, i’ve loosened up a bit on that notion and i don’t feel like changing my name will change my identify (it won’t), but i just wasn’t as ready as i thought i was. i am just about there now, i think. when i do finally get around to becoming my husband’s official Mrs., i will keep my maiden name as my middle name. although it does make me sad to “give up” my middle name in a way…my dad chose it and i am very attached to my dad.
Post # 7
Truthfully, I would love to keep my last name, however my SO’s family would be offended if I keep it.
Like you, I have a very originial name. Mine is Czec/Slovak and it is a name rarely anyone has heard. Unfortunately, as much as I love SO, his last name is Brown. Which, as you can imagine, is everywhere.
I vote you keep your name. Make HIS name you middle name. Then you can still sign things both ways when you want that comfort of being his, but you’re also still you!
Post # 8
I love my last name as well but I’m going to my FI’s name because I see it as making us into a family. Our kids will have his last name and I want to be connected to my kids without giving them 2 last names. I will miss my old name but my new name will be a symbol of my new little family that I get to have with the love of my life. I like the idea of being his Mrs. 🙂
Post # 9
That is a wonderful idea! It’s funny that I have never actually thought of that. And fortunately, I actually do not have a middle name so I wouldn’t have to bump an already existing one.
The “identity” thing is definitely what is causing me to be on the fence. It’s just.. me. And I feel the same way about betraying the family thing you mentioned, although realistically I know that that is not the case, but that feeling is still there! Congrats on your wedding by the way! 🙂
Interesting, that could definitely be a possibilty to question as well.
Post # 10
Yes! That is definitely the attractive part of taking his last name. Thanks for the input 🙂
Post # 11
well, FWIW…if your Fiance is supportive of whatever you choose, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with waiting until you’re ready. I am perfectly content right now to have my legal name on my IDs, bank cards, etc…but to refer to myself as Mrs.___ when making an appointment or otherwise giving my name (when legal documents aren’t necessary). Enjoy being married and worry about changing your name when and if you’re ready!