- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2015
HI Bees! I thought long and hard about my decision to have my e-ring re-set so I thought I’d share my story in case it could ever help someone out there with the same dilemma!
I’m gonna start with the caveat that I know there is a lot of debate on the Bee as to whether girls should have a say in their e-ring, and a lot of Bees believe you should just “shut up and be happy”. I’m not looking for advice, as my decision has already been made. I simply wanted to share my story in case it could help someone in the same situation.
I had written a previous post about being super picky about my e-ring, and my fiancé not wanting me to have a say in the choice of ring:
Since then, my wonderful fiancé proposed last August (on a beach in Cape Cod, it was beautiful and perfect!). I couldn’t be happier! I loved the ring he picked for me and the Canadian diamond is just gorgeous. I was happy … until I started looking for wedding bands.
When I started looking for wedding bands, I realized that I really didn’t like my e-ring with a band next to it. The thing I loved the most about my e-ring is how delicate the pave setting was, and I thought that adding a band next to it just made it look chunky and lost its delicate appeal. I tried MANY bands in so many different stores. I also considered wearing my e-ring on its own, and my wedding band on my right hand. I opted against that because I love the tradition of wearing both on my left hand. At first, I couldn’t identify why I didn’t like the e-ring with a band, but eventually realised that what I didn’t like about wearing a set was that my .5 carat diamond kinda got “lost” in the set and didn’t stand out as much as I would have liked. A jeweler suggested that I may want to add a halo around my diamond, to make it stand out more.
I tried on halo rings with a .5 carat center stone next to a wedding band, and loved it. However, I struggled with the option of adding a halo….I didn’t want to mention it to my fiancé for fear of hurting his feelings. I also really like the look of a solitaire, and wasn’t sure going to a halo was the right choice for me. I was also feeling so guilty; I didn’t want my Fiance to think that the ring he picked wasn’t enough or that I didn’t appreciate the ring, because I really did! In the end, when he saw that I really couldn’t find a wedding band that I liked and that I seemed quite stressed out about it, he asked me what was wrong.
We talked about it and he was totally ok with adding a halo to my existing mount and told me I was silly for hesitating to talk to him about it in the first place. We looked around, and found out the cost (around $1300). We ended up going to our original jeweler who offered to have the diamond re-set in the mount I wanted for free, all we had to pay was the price difference of the mount. I felt terribly guilty (and still do today…but hopefully I’ll get over that) but at the same time I wanted to wear a set that I loved for the rest of my life.
A custom order was put and the mount was made to my finger size and for my diamond to fit perfectly. So yesterday, I went and handed my original e-ring to have the diamond re-set in the new mount. I actually cried, I was so upset at the thought of giving away my “real” e-ring. I guess it was a mix of emotions like guilt and the fear of regret (would I regret exchanging my original e-ring later? Am I really this materialistic? Am I choosing the overall “look” of the ring over the sentimental value that’s attached to it?) At the end of the day, I spoke to my fiancé who assured me he was 100% on board and that he had no emotional attachment to the original e-ring whatsoever. He even initially just wanted to propose with no ring (see initial post) , and go pick one together, which is, in practice, what happened when we chose my new mount together. He just wants me to have a ring that I’ll be happy with and love.
So now I’m waiting for my ring to be re-set…I should get it this Friday! Here’s a picture of the original ring. I’ll post one of the new mount once I get it. I’m starting to feel a little more excited about it and a little less sad. I am hoping I’ll be really pleased with the results.