- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
I don’t know where to post this really. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want, it’s just about wanting a baby before we planned. Any advice opinions or anything really would be appreciated!
Let’s try to keep this as nice as possible please 🙂
So my faince and I have been together for 3.5 years. We will be married in less than 50 days!!! Eeek!!!
Originally we both decided that we would wait until we were 30 to have another child. I was afraid of the actual child birth experience. I’ve already had a child and it was 8 hours of straight labor and 4 hours of pushing before she finally made her appearance in the world. After such a difficult delivery I was hesitant to even have another child, instead I’d wanted to go the adoption route (which I still wish to do)
Now my fiance just finished school and had a job lined up before he finished school. He should be starting in a couple weeks. By the time we get married he’ll be established at his job. Him and his boss get along well already and things are looking up. I’m still in school and for my dream job I still have 4 years before I finish. My fiance though will be making more than enough for us with money to save. So money isn’t really an issue here in concerning this.
I also want to be able to stay home with my child for at least the first year of its birth. I will be going to school but 8 hours a day 5 days a week would be too much time away from my baby. When I had my daughter I was able to stay home with her for the first year (and go to school) and things were great in that aspect. So I’m hoping to do that with our next child. My fiance already is able to support him, me and our child with his current pay and he will be making about 4 times his current pay when he starts his new job in a couple weeks, so again supporting the child isn’t the issue, I know how much it takes to provide a child, we’ve already got one lol.
Now I’m not on BC atm because I don’t necessarily believe in it for religious reasons and we planned to do the natural family planning when we are married. At the time we are not sexually intimate because of our faith (the abstinance is somewhat new) and we were going to start the natural planning when we got married.
But now I’m thinking we should not try not to, but not try to. Just let it happen if it happens and if it doesn’t then it’s not time. I’m all about what happens happens for a reason type thinking.
If I were to get pregnant within the first two years of our marriage I will be able to stay home with the baby, but if I wait until I’m 30 I will just be getting into my carreer field and will not be able to take the time off to spend with the baby. My fiance is saying he wants two more children so I could very well be 35-38 before I have the other two kids if we wait until I’m done with school.
I’ve been hinting at my fiance about this lately. He’s not completely opposed to the idea but he hasn’t said “Yeah let’s do it!” either. I think he’s nervous to have a kid. Our daughter isn’t his biological child but he raises her and is there for her 24/7 and cares deeply for her. He’ll be a wonderful dad, he already is. But I don’t think he realizes that.
I used to want 4 kids until I had my first kid. Then I wanted just one. Eventually I decided I wanted two, now I’m leaning toward 3 and possibly adopting a child when I’m done with school and have a well established career (not a baby but a child or even teen, we will get to that when we get there) and fiance is all for this. I like the idea of a big family.
I don’t really know why I’m posting and such a long book. Any ideas or opinions are welcome though, just let’s try to make this nice please 🙂
My daughter also keeps asking for a brother and a sister lol which doesn’t make “waiting till I’m 30” any easier.
We’re not married yet so I don’t want to tell family about this just yet, my mom has said many times she gives us two years after we’re married to give her another baby. They wont be upset, I’m sure they would be happy, but I don’t want them to know I’m thinking about it before we’re even married. So what’s y’alls opinions?