Changing our date?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - Mountains

This is when you have to decide what is important and what is not. You can certainly keep your fabulous date and location in a HCOL area but decide what you can go without- fewer flowers, decor, guests, etc. I’m not sure what you mean by ‘dream’ wedding, but dream weddings will be expensive regardless of location. If you really want to keep that date and keep expenses down just decide what expenses you can eliminate.

As I’ve mentioned several times in posts, one of the easiest ways to cut down on costs is to have fewer guests. But the flowers, catering, entertainment, decor, etc are also places you can save a lot of money.

Post # 3
47422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you haven’t sent out invitations, which I doubt, keep the same date , but make it 2020.

Post # 4
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

View original reply
mmadmire :  My husband and I were in this situation, but we were about 4 months out from our original date when we decided to push it back a year. I am glad we did it. We would have been able to swing our original date, but only if we decided to take out loans. We were having none of that. We pushed it back and enjoyed the process, and still got married, without wedding debt haning over us. 

Post # 5
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

My FH and I are keeping our date and just doing it small, then planning an anniversary bash the following year so we can have the things we want but can go ahead and get married(which is the part we are too excited to wait on) this way we get to have a private ceremony on our 9th anniversary and then celebrate with friends family and all on our 10th anniversary/1st wedding anniversary. We also didnt want a traditional ceremony anyway, so we opted to go to our favorite beach and work with an officiant who would do a nonsecular ceremony and let us lead what we wanted. No arguments over who’s family church(that neither of us attend) to have a ceremony, no pressure to have a ceremony that other people want or expect or think we should. Just romantic and easy(is the goal, were still a few months out, so well see if it stays easy)

Then we had an extra full year to plan and budget and book things. It worked out for us, its an option if you really dont want to push the ceremony back


Post # 6
4905 posts
Honey bee

So do you actually have a contract and down payment on a venue?  Because without a place to hold the wedding, you don’t actually have a wedding date – you have an idea.  And ideas can be changed.  Lots of people pick their dates based on some combination of budget and ability to save, venue availability, and availability of their VIP can’t get married without them guests.

You went about this a little backward.  Budget should have been first.  You can’t figure anything else out until you have budget nailed down.  What if you told everyone else your “date” and discovered no venues in your budget available on that date?  Especially since many venues book up a year in advance.

Honestly, whatever date you marry will be special because you got married on that date.  You don’t get any special dispensation or super extra marriage bonus points for getting married on your dating anniversary.  And 10/27 can still be your anniversary…for dating.  Nothing says you can’t still celebrate it once you get married and if you get married on another date then you have two special things to celebrate during the year.

If you decide the date is more important, then start looking to cut costs.  Maybe that means cutting the guest list more, doing brunch instead of dinner, reserving a room at a restaurant and doing only dinner instead of a full catered dinner and dancing reception, etc.

Post # 7
3117 posts
Sugar bee

You might want to push the data back to next year. If you just got engaged a few weeks ago, do you even have a venue or any vendors booked?  Are the venues you’re interested in even available on that date?  I don’t know where you live, but you mentioned it’s a HCOL area.  I’m also in a HCOL area and the more reasonably priced venues & vendors often get booked 12-24 months in advance.  

Budget aside, do you think you realistically have enough time to plan a wedding for October?

Post # 8
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

View original reply
mmadmire :  I really wanted to get married the year of my 10 year anniversary. I thought it would be the most perfect day ever. Our current anniversary was January 18, 2008, so 08/18/18 just seemed to be soooo perfect!

Well, it didnt turn out that way, my then boyfriend didn’t proposed until January 2018, and there was no way I was goign to be able to find a venue available for August 2018. So, August 2019 it is!

I know the date is special in your heart, but it seems like you really want your dream wedding. It comes down to what is more important, your dream wedding or your date! Honestly, a date is just a date. I’m actually really happy to change our anniversary to the summer months, as it always sucks to go out in the freezing cold for our anniversary in January!

Whatever date you have, it will be speical because it is your wedding date.

Post # 9
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think having the wedding you want is more important than the exact date of the wedding. I went to my venue and asked for Saturdays open in May and June and booked one. Our wedding anniversary is 3 days after or first date anniversary. 

Post # 10
1058 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
mmadmire :  find a really affordable venue, maybe even a restaurant, and forgo decorations. No one will leave early if you don’t have centerpieces but they will if there’s no not enough food. 

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