(Closed) Changing surname — unique

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that it is very considerate of you to want to do this for your FH. I also think that his family sounds wonderful, as they are leaving it up to you basically. I can see where it would sometimes be aggrivating (i.e. your children will not have the same name as you). I also think that most people will assume that your last name is the same as your husbands, only because it is not common in the U.S. I would do what makes you happy.

Post # 5
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

What have other women in his family/other Russian women in your area done?  Do they tend to follow Russian tradition or ‘Western’ tradition?

Post # 6
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Gotcha… this is all very interesting to me. Does you FH mother have the female version of his fathers name?

Post # 8
Member
826 posts
Busy bee

how does he feel about the last name?

Post # 10
Member
826 posts
Busy bee

well have you thought about when you guys have kids, what would you want your kids last name to be? Either way i think they sound both very similar..

 

Post # 12
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This is totally just my opinion, but if one of the things holding you back from taking the female version is that you won’t have the same name…you will have the same name – it’s just a different form of the same thing.  You might have to deal with people occasionally calling you by the male version or asking you about the difference – but that is also a great opportunity to educate them about Russian traditions.  If you don’t take the female version, you might have to deal with Russians questioning your family name.  But again, this is just my opinion…

Post # 13
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

What if you legally took the -skaya, but socially went by -sky?

I had no idea this was still an active tradition in Russia! I love old Russian literature (translated into English, haha, my Russian is terrible!), and always loved the way names derive in Russian culture 🙂

Post # 15
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If you would still be considered the the “smith family” than leave the male version.  If your husband and in laws are cool with it then go for it.  

Post # 16
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My sister married a man from the Czech Republic, and ran into a similar dilemma. What she ended up doing is legally becoming the female version but is known by her husbands name.

They moved to Slovakia a few years back so it’s not as confusing for her anymore. Should they move back to the States, I’m sure there will be a transition.

I personally would go with tradition.

Good luck!

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