- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
Alright, bees, I need some serious advice here. I am devastated right now, so some perspective that this isn’t the end of my wedding-world would also be much appriciated.
First, background on my venue: It is a Buddhist retreat that hosts non-Buddhist weddings when they aren’t doing retreats. It is a large place with multiple venues for reception and ceremony and some rustic lodging.
Today we got an e-mail saying that their leader and founder had passed away on July 22, and that using the Tibetan Buddhist calendar, the one year anniversary of his death will be on our wedding day next year. In accordance with tradition, they will have a huge ceremony that could reach up to 1,000 people. They are still willing to try to have our wedding that day, but it seems nearly impossible – I was already concerned with the amount of parking just for our guests, let alone with this big ceremony, the e-mail implied we may not be able to use the lodging, and I’m really worried that we won’t get the attention/care we are paying for. (Side note: I feel like a horrible human being for being more concerned about my wedding than his passing, but honestly, this is where my brain is).
They said that we can move our wedding to later in August (either the 24th or 31st, which is labor day weekend) and they will give us a decent amount of money off. However, we are both teachers. Getting married in early August meant that we were not yet in school and wouldn’t have to take time off for our honeymoon. Later in August means having to take time off. We have sick leave/personal days banked up that we can use, but, as fellow teachers can attest, taking time off is HARD WORK, and I’ve been working hard to save those days for the future when we have a kid (no paid maternity leave, but can use accumulated sick leave to get paid for part of the time taken off).
I haven’t reread the contract yet, but I’m pretty sure we could get out of the contract if we want (I’m pretty sure it says exclusive use of the property in the contract). However, we really like this place (I’ve been picturing getting married here now for 5 months!), and I’m worried about finding another place now.
I’m also feeling angry that we are just hearing about this – nearly 4 months after he passed away! Why not tell us sooner?!?!?!
So, bees, any advice for me? (and thanks for sticking through that long, rambling post)