- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
hello bees 🙂
so for some back story, i have been dating my now fiance for 10 years this april. we had originally envisioned an october wedding and due to our desire to buy a house first, we decided on a ball park date of fall 2012. i have already picked my brides maids and MOH’s (will be explained) and let them know what date we were thinking. well due to my fiance’s upcoming grad school schedule we have to resechedule as we cannot have a wedding in the middle if his semester. so we have deacided to push the wedding up 5 months and get married in may of 2012.
so when i picked my bridal party one of my MOH’s was married, so at the time i had 1 matron of honor, 1 maid of honor, and 3 bm’s. one month after i asked my girls to be in my wedding my matron of honor told me she is getting divorced, hence, now i have 2 MOH’s. this Maid/Matron of Honor, lets call her A, married her husband when she was 18 in order to get on his insurance plan due to a bad car wrek she was in. we have talked at length about how she knew it wouldnt last to begin with, so she was not at all upset that the marriage was ending. she began dating very soon after moving out and less than 10 months after her seperation from her husband, she is now in a new serious relationship. We are still pretty young (25) and her new bf if 34. she knew him for 2 months before moving in with him and now that they have been living together for 1 month she calls me and tells me she is pregnant with his baby. she is currently about 3 months along. while i may not agree with her decisions i love her and as long as she is happy, then i am happy for her.
when i told A that i have to move my date due to scheduleing conflicts she suggests to me that i shouldnt get married in may because that is when she and her bf plan on getting married in hawaii (we’re in california). i had previously told her we were deciding between moving the date up to may or pushing it back to december 2012. at that time she didnt tell me anything of this hawaii wedding. now that i tell her we are moving the wedding to may she tells me about her hawaii wedding? they want to be married about 6 month after their baby comes, so that will be may/june 2012. i will be her Maid/Matron of Honor (she has already asked me), but i cant help feeling a bit weird about the situation. i have been bff’s with this girl for about 20 years. i love her to death. she makes dumb choices and i give her advice when she asks, i wont force my opinion on her.
i told her that honestly, i dont think i could afford to go to her hawaii wedding since my wedding will be the same year. my fiance and i will be paying for everything and then our honeymoon as well. it is not financially possible for us to afford a 7 or even 3 day trip to hawaii. when i told her this she said “well then you should push your wedding to december 2012 so you have the money to come to my wedding”. now take note that she is not engaged yet. they are just “planning” for the wedding. she is still legally married to her husband and has yet to even begin the divorce process. i’m just a bit peeved that she would tell me to move my wedding that i have been waiting 10 years for so she an marry her boyfriend of 4 months when she is not even legally available to marry him…. and i’m also sad that i wont be able to attend this hawaii wedding of hers. grr