Post # 1
I need advice. I am being prompted to change my wedding date for a 3rd time. I am so sick of this!
When I got engaged we set a date. My fiance found out 2 months later he was being deployed for a year and wouldn’t be home during the date we initially picked. Everything was booked. So I had to change everything to a new date next Sept.
I’m already a little bummed that I had to change it and now my engagement is 2 years long. But oh well, I was relieved we had a new date.
Well, my brother calls this morning asking if I can change the date again. WHAT?! He plays college football for a smaller school and apparently the coaches don’t let them miss a game. I cannot believe this.
Bees, I don’t want to change our date for a 3rd time. I don’t want to deal with the stress of finding a new date and making sure all our vendors have it open. I don’t want a summer wedding, I have fall colors and fall decor. BUT I also want my brother to be there. He is in our wedding!
I am beyond upset and wondering if this is normal for a coach not let a player come to his own sister’s wedding. Any advice out there? I don’t know what to do and am fighting back tears at work so I need to vent!
Any advice is greatly appreciated 🙂
Post # 3
Wow – you don’t think that your brother could talk to his coaches and let him know that his sister is getting married, so he’ll have to miss a game? Before you switch the date again, I would have him talk with his coaches about it. It’s far enough in advance that they should be able to make an exception for him. If they can’t, then it’s time to reconsider. But it’s a little unreasonable for them to not allow him to miss a football game for his sisters wedding.
Post # 4
HUGS! Super sorry you’re dealing with this!
Personally, I probably wouldn’t change my date. I would try to work something out with the timing of the event on Saturday to maybe work around the football schedule. But as it’s a year out, they usually don’t announce the schedule too far n advance, much less the time until shortly before the season starts (and with some games the time is TBA until the week of).
I could understand if he was like a key player at a very large school and was potentially looking at going pro, where missing 1 game would be significant. But from your post it would appear that that’s not exactly the case. I’ve never heard of a coach requiring attendance, perhaps that is just your brother’s view of the situation? Perhaps discussing the issue with the board of directors or the Athlectic Director the policy could be clarified?
-Good Luck with everything!
Post # 5
I probably wouldn’t change the date, either. Just set it, announce it, and let people set their schedules around it–everyone’s got a year!
As for your brother, it may very well be true that his coaches don’t allow the players to miss any games. I was a college athlete and had to negotiate heavily just to miss one practice in order to attend my sibling’s wedding. But, with all this advance notice, maybe the coaches can just plan to have someone else substitute for your brother that day. Your brother will have to work extra hard, though, to ensure that he doesn’t simply get replaced by whomever subs for him!
Post # 6
This is a once in a lifetime event, his SISTER is getting married, he may need to think about which is more important. With this much advance notice he can most likely talk to his coaches and work something out. I wouldnt switch now that you have a date set especially if it works out for you and your FI! Don’t worry, everything will work out fine.
Post # 7
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I would ask him to speak with his coach to see if he can miss one game. It’s hard enough planning a wedding with your fiance’s deployment schedule.
Post # 8
would your brother need to travel for the wedding? Is it possible maybe to change the time of the wedding, so that he can attend after his football game?
Post # 9
Thanks for the helpful advice. It helps just to hear people siding with me!
He is talking to his coaches tonight but he is very doubtful they will let him off. I agree, they should understand that it’s once in a lifetime, and it’s one game missed. But they don’t. My brother goes to college 4 hours away so there is no way he’ll make it for the wedding or reception that day if he cannot get out of the game. If that’s the case, there’s nothing he can really do? I mean, unless he walks off the team which will not happen nor would I want that for him.
It’s amazing to me that sports trump any major life event. That’s a big flaw in our culture today. I’m so frustrated and hurt.
So if he can’t make it do I ATTEMPT to change the date once again? Or keep it and not have my only brother there?
🙁 🙁 🙁
Post # 10
i woudn’t change my date for a football game… i mean its college football vs wedding.. honestly. how long is the match? cant he come afterwards?
Post # 11
His coach is not nice. I would not change my date. He can be with you in thought. This will never end. You cannot please everyone. If it is easy to change the date then that would be different.