Post # 1
So I recently moved across the country to Arizona from Wisconsin but since our friends and family are all still closer to WI we figured we’d do the wedding there. In fact its basically planned, county park venue with reception at the same place. We sent out Save-The-Date Cards.
As so many of you have discussed about the economy affecting your wedding plans, we found ourselves in the same situation. Our parents aren’t really helping with the costs and the incidentals of travel and hotel are eating away at us. We just know that we can’t afford to spend the money after moving across the country, especially as Fiance doesn’t have a new job lined up yet. Not wanting to go into debt, we’re thinking we should just have a courthouse wedding here in AZ and if anyone we sent Save-The-Date Cards to wants to come down, they’re still invited, but for a smaller wedding and just a nice restaurant dinner instead of a full reception.
Is this kosher? I feel guilty about changing everything after Save-The-Date Cards have already gone out. Most people probably wont come to AZ for it. We might even move it to this June (ach next month!) because my mom will already be down here anyway. That parts probably not so kosher, huh?
Anyway, sorry so long. I’m just not sure what to do! Thanks for any advice/opinions!
Post # 3
Thats a tough situation. A lot to think about. I am originally from WI myself and moved to St. Louis about 2 years ago with my Fiance.
I would really think about your budget…. Im sure you would hate to do into debt because of your wedding.
I think that sending out your STD’s already may make it a bit more complicated, but you can always change the details.
Really think about what would work best for you and Fiance. Maybe have a little ceremony in AZ and invite everyone to a simple dinner afterwards.
You can send a little letter to all the people you send STD’s too and explain the situation. Hopefully they will understand.
My Fi and I are having a small wedding in STL and most of our invited guests are from WI.
It just worked better for us to have it near were we live. I just sent out the invites so hopefully I will get some RSVP’s soon. I am curious to see who will be willing to travel for my wedding. (although STL is closer to WI then AZ, so maybe more people would not mind to drive)
Post # 4
Thanks for your response. I was kind of expecting to get some flames (although Weddingbee is pretty flame-free). I guess that says that even i think its pretty bad but its just gonna have to be that way.
Post # 5
Can you get married at the courthouse in your new state, and then can you have a small, downscaled celebration on the same date/time/city that you were originally intending to get married? How large was your original guest list? Can you all fit in a picnic area of a local park, or can any of your friends or family host a party for you? That way all of your friends from your hometown can still celebrate your wedding, but you won’t need to pay for a big reception. People will completely understand if you need to downsize your wedding for fincancial reasons. You might want to consider a barbeque, "dessert party" or brunch to cut down on costs. As long as you are clear about the type of event you are hosting in the invitation, I don’t think any of the guests will mind.
Post # 6
Save the Dates are definitely not binding. I think you should feel free to change things as needed to suit your circumstances, and in this economy people will totally understand!
Just make sure 1) you tell everyone definitively of any change in plans soon 2) you don’t change your mind a second time.
Will you be losing more with deposits etc on things you’ve reserved back home? Make sure you do the math so you know what will be most economical.
Most of all, good luck and let us know what happens!
Post # 7
First, WI to AZ! Wo that must be a bit of a shock. How’s it going?
Also, if somehow you can swing a reception or something for the folks back home, I hope you can work it out. It sounds like, if you could, you’d like to have it as originally planned.
However, with regard to the STD, I think in your circumstance, the Save-The-Date Cards aren’t an obligation to continue to hold a wedding you can no longer afford, or feasibly go through with (having moved.) I think Save-The-Date Cards become sticky situations if you ar simply trying to scale down a guest list for a wedding that is still being planned as before. Are you afraid that some folks have bought plane tickets to WI? The only thing I would suggest, is if you are offically cancelling the WI wedding, to let you guests know ASAP, so they know not to book flights or hotel rooms, or take off work etc.