(Closed) Changing your last name?

posted 7 years ago in Names
  • poll: What did/will you do for your last name?

    Taking My husbands name

    Hyphening both of our names

    Creating a new name

    He's taking my name

    Other

    keeping my name

  • Post # 32
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @Doodle411:  Thanks! 6 months today!!! haha. I think if your SO is open to the idea of changing his name and taking yours, then go for it! I think you have a valid reason, and who cares what other people think. If it’s what you want, then do it. 🙂

    Post # 33
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I think I’ll be taking FI’s last name and making my current last name my middle name. I really couldn’t care less about the “taking husband’s last name” tradition. In fact, I kind of cringe when I think about it. At the same time, I don’t really have a connection to my name. It’s pretty common and I haven’t embarked on my professional career yet. Ultimately, I’m alright with taking on a new last name.

    Post # 34
    Member
    2777 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Doodle411:  I am taking his last name and making my last name my middle name, so I will have the same name as my daughter, who has my maiden name.

    Post # 35
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Moving my current (maiden) name to my middle name and taking his last name.  Don’t care about the tradition side of it, but it’s going to make my life much easier.  My first name is a Japanese name, and my last name is Kelly.  So everyone thinks my last name is my first name, and it’s a nightmare for banking, doctor offices, etc.  Even though they won’t be able to pronounce my first name, they’ll know what order it goes in!

    Post # 36
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m still undecided. On the one hand, I’m a teacher, so I am very used to being called Miss. X. So that’s probably more a part of my identity than it is for the average person.

    On the other hand, if he wanted me to change it, I probably would.

    He doesn’t care, though. He doesn’t want to change his name (professionally it would make things more difficult for him) and doesn’t care if I take his, so he’s not very helpful.

    I still have time to decide. I really don’t want to hyphenate. Maybe I can change it only when we eventually have kids to have family unity? Or not. haha 

    So undecided.

    Post # 37
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee

    I’ll be taking his last name. He actually likes mine and suggested I hyphenate, but I think it’s a mouthful all together and prefer to just take his. I have a close friend who took his wife’s name when they married, and when my nephew was born my sister and her bf combined their names to make a new one for him!

    Post # 39
    Member
    4502 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @FisherQueen:  +1

     

    Post # 40
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

    I’m taking his last name as my middle name (and dropping my current middle name). So I’ll still have my maiden name as my last name, but I’ll also have his name too. He liked it, so that’s what I’m doing 🙂

    Post # 41
    Member
    2959 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I am keeping the last name I was born with. FH and I are too old to have kids and IMO, the days of wives being property are long gone. However, I really do not care what others do – I would never tell someone to keep or change their last name!

    Post # 42
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    You didn’t have exactly my option on the poll.

    I took my husband’s last name, but I dropped my middle name and moved my maiden name to my middle name spot. So if possible, I use first name maiden name last name (e.g. on social media, email), but then for official forms and things where normal people only put first name last name, I use my new last name.

    Post # 43
    Member
    770 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would have liked to share a name with my SO, but he wouldn’t even consider hyphenating or taking mine. So…that conversation was over. I could justify keeping my last name because of my culture or the meaning or whatever, but at the end of the day I feel like society is the one that needs to justify why I should be the one to change my name. It needs to have a better reason than “tradition.” When people ask about it, I say that if it was important to my SO that we share a last name, he was more than welcome to mine.

    Post # 44
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @likewoah:  That’s exactly how I feel about it!  And exactly what I said to FH when he said he wanted me to change my name.  Well, more like I repeated all his arguments back to him, in an effort to make him realize how silly they were.  A few days later he actually proposed, and then said he was okay with me keeping my name.  😀

     

    Remember ladies, if your guy doesn’t want to change his name to yours, it means he doesn’t really love you, he has no respect for your family, he doesn’t care about your future children having a stable, cohesive home, and besides it’s SO ROMANTIC and every guy should do it! <3

     

    *flames from people who missed the joke coming in 3…2…*

     

    Anyway, I really hate how the conversation about name changing tends to not go “So, who’s changing their last name?  Are you both hyphenating, or what?”  but instead “Oh, the future Mr. and Mrs– oh wait, what?  You’re not changing your last name?  but but but TRADITION :(” And it really chaps my hide to see women who change their names going “BUT FEMINISM!!! I HAVE A CHOICE NOW!!!11” Yeah, legally, you do have a choice, and you can thank feminism for that.  But considering that as of this post, 75% of the people who voted in this poll are taking their husbands’ names in some form, we’re probably not as free as you think, socially speaking.  Kind of like how women are (in theory) protected from discrimination in the workplace, particularly when it comes to pregnancy and motherhood, but one of the fronts in the Mommy Wars says we should stay home because our babies might need us, and nothing a woman achieves will ever be as great as doing what literally billions of women have managed to do over last 100,000 years since modern Homo sapiens sapiens women starting having children. We’re legally allowed to do whatever we like, but some people don’t think we should.

    Post # 45
    Member
    400 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @kittyfinn:  You just voiced everything I believe.  I just received an invitation from the Fi of one of my friends (not my FI’s friends, mine) and it was addressed ‘To Mr and Mrs His First and Last Name’. I was so offended.  I’m not changing my name, and I do have a first name too. Craziness.  

    You would think the fact that I am doing a PhD in feminist literature would deter that sort of assumption. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    View original reply
    @aussiebride26:  Oh my god, how stupid.  I can’t believe people still actually do that! It’s the twenty-first freaking century ffs…

    The topic ‘Changing your last name?’ is closed to new replies.

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