(Closed) changing your last name?

posted 8 years ago in Names
  • poll: What are you doing with your name?
    Keeping my name the same. : (20 votes)
    17 %
    Taking his last name. : (79 votes)
    66 %
    Hyphenating my last name. : (10 votes)
    8 %
    Other (please explain) : (10 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    2201 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m taking his. Mainly because mine is a long, unwieldly German name that no one can spell or say. And therefore would also make a wretched middle name.

    And, I get to move up in the alphabet!

    Post # 4
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    That is pretty much what was planning to do as well. I think it’s hard to let go of a life long last name. I love my last name. But I currently hate having to write it out, when signing things, so adding another one to that, will eventually annoy me. I am hoping by the wedding, I will be okay letting go of mine and taking his. But…. I doubt it.

    Post # 5
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I am adding my last name to my middle and taking his last name. It took me a long time to decide what i wanted to do. I was set on keeping my name until i found out on here that people do that!

    Post # 6
    4123 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I’m taking his, but my business (which is my first/last name) will stay the same. 

    Post # 7
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I love my last name.  It totally rocks and I don’t want to lose it…even to a new added middle name.  As of now I am just planning on keeping it.  His name is long and people mispronounce it all the time.  

    Besides I am not a very traditional type so no one would expect me to change my last name either. 

    Post # 8
    652 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’ve been going back and forth, as of right now, I’m not taking his name.  I won’t mind if I’m referred to as Mrs. Soandso, bc I’m sure it will happen.  But my name stays the same. 

    Post # 9
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Since all my degrees are in my maiden name, I elected to take his last name and make my maiden name my middle.

    Post # 11
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Haha, I’ve been going over and over this in my head for the last, oh, year or so!  At first I said I would take his name and drop mine entirely.  I felt like I had no emotional attachment to my name.  To me, I figured I’m going to have some man’s name anyway, be it my father’s or my husband’s, and it might as well be the man I chose. (Plus, my dad and I have an awkward relationship that’s really too much to get into here.)

    Then after a while, I started to worry about losing “street cred” in my profession.  Women in my profession are really expected to keep their last names, and there is a lot of (unfair!) judgment against women who don’t.  So I started to think that I would do a double, non-hyphenated last name.  That way I would get the sort of credibility that keeping my own name offers in this profession, but practically with day to day matters, I would still get to use my husband’s name (because without a hyphen, I figured most people would just drop the first last name and only use the second, the way people do with Hillary Rodham Clinton.)

    Then as the wedding date got closer and people started jokingly asking me if I was ready to be Mrs. Marriedname, I started to feel really uncomfortable.  I tried to practice writing it, tried practicing introducing myself in the mirror with my new name, but for some reason I just felt super uncomfortable.  I guess I realized that my current name wasn’t just my father’s name, but that in 25 years of using it I had unexpectedly grown attached to it as well. 

    So after all that, I decided to just keep my name the way it is.  I’m telling people it’s for professional reasons, but really it was just an emotional thing.  While I have a weird relationship with my dad and absolutely no relationship with the maidenname extended family, I still somehow got attached to this name apart from all that, and it feels too weird to change it. 

    Post # 12
    722 posts
    Busy bee

    I am keeping my name. I am very established professionally so there was never any question. Of my friends who changed their name and women in my family ALL of them made their maiden name their middle name. I honestly didn’t know people did it any other way.

    Post # 13
    4159 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I really wanted to hyphanate my last name with his last name, but they’re both long names, so I will just take his.

    Post # 14
    433 posts
    Helper bee

    I think I’ll keep my maiden name as a 2nd middle name… And any kids we hopefully have will just have his last name. I wasn’t going to keep my last name at all but I’m the last person in my family to be born with that name and there are no sons to carry on the family name so I feel a little sad (as does the rest of my family) to just let it go and never use it again.

    Post # 15
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m keeping my name. I just always knew I would, that’s the kind of gal that I am.

    Post # 16
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m keeping my name.  My fiance is keeping his, too.  I would kind of like him to take mine (it’s awesome) and he would kind of like me to take his (he is very occasionally traditional – can you tell I am not?).  There were a few days of tension around this, but in the end we both respect that you only get to make your own choice.

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