Changing your last names in 2017.

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: My question is, are you still gonna change your names in this day and age?
    Yes. : (201 votes)
    74 %
    No. : (71 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 91
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    I don’t view changing the name as a big deal.  It denotes the building of a family.  I like being The LastNames.  I even get a kick of Mr. and Mrs. Hubs’FirstName LastName.  And I’m very liberated.  And I always wanted to have the same last name as my (future) kids.  Now I don’t see anything wrong with the husband taking the wife’s last name, choosing a new one, hyphenating, keeping it the same, but I don’t view changing the last name as a subjugation of women.

    My maiden name is very clearly a last name and wouldn’t work as a middle name.

    Post # 92
    Member
    2130 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I changed my name. My maiden name was not meaningful for me (it was not my birth name). My DH’s name is meaningful–showed his heritage. So, I wanted to change my name to his. 

    I have no judgement of people who don’t change their name, or hyphenate, or husbands who take wives names, etc. I did what I wanted and I’d hope others would do what they wanted. I guess that’s the cool thing about it being 2017–you have choice. I’ve had friends in same sex marriages who have changed one of their names or kept their names. i actually think I know more people who have been changing their name recently than not!

    Post # 93
    Member
    1739 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I’ll be hyphenating or adding on FI’s name after we marry. I want to keep my maiden name, as my father has no boy children to “carry on his legacy,” but I also want to start a family unit with my Fiance under one name (“The __ Family”). It’s certainly a traditional viewpoint, but not all traditions are bad. It’s up to the couple to decide. With that being said, I’m not sure when this name change will get done as it seems like a lot of paperwork I’m not overly enthusiastic about finishing right now. I’ll make sure to have it completed before we have kids in the next five years though. Lol

    Post # 94
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    My wife is actually taking my last name. It’s not important to her at all to have the same last name, but it is to me because I feel like it makes us more of a family unit. I always wanted to share a last name with my spouse. I also grew up in a family where my mom, my sister, and I all had different last names. So maybe that has something to do with it. 

    Everyone expected me to take her last name, but she doesn’t care about her last name and has no attachment to the family it’s connected with. I, on the other hand, am very attached to my last name and have done extensive geneaology work with it and didn’t want to give it up. So she’s taking my name… 

    I would say we’re a mix of traditional and non-traditional?

    Post # 95
    Member
    372 posts
    Helper bee

    snowlovingbee :  I would never change my name – but on the other hand, I’m from Italy and here nobody does it unless they come from a country where it’s common practice. I understand it’s customary, but to me it sounds like the symbolic meaning behind it is that the woman is passing from her father’s possession to her husband’s possession.

    However, I’m ot judgemental of people who choose otherwise, as I’m aware my point of view is one of an external observer.

    Post # 96
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

    I will be most likely. It’s just easier to all have the same last names. And I don’t mind his, it sounds nice with his name. But I do wish he would also consider thinking of changing his to mine just like I considered changing mine to his instead of defaulting to “so what do you plan on doing with your name?” and assuming it’s only me who has this decision to make.

    Post # 97
    Member
    1104 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I’m taking FI’s name because I want to. I want to have the same last name as our children. I want to be “The B….. Family”. 

     

    I also think that you can do whatever you want to do! Who cares!? Let’s not judge each other for our choices 

    Post # 98
    Member
    263 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I’m changing my name, but so is he. We’re going to be Mr. and Mrs. MyLastName-HisLastName.  We wanted the same last name, whatever we decided to do. I feel very lucky that he didn’t hesitate for even a moment after we decided to hyphenate together.

     

    Post # 99
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    In my culture (half latin american) we do not change our last names with marriage. While I have grown up most of my life in Canada, I grew up with a mother than never had the same last name as me, and did not see it as a big deal. These days my mom assumes my dad’s last name, but traditionaly only parent’s last names are kept. For whatever reason, my parents decided to only give their children our dad’s last name. My now-husband has not really shown much interest either way if I were to change my name, oddly enough my Father-In-Law is the one who casually comments on it. Personally it is not that important to me either way, however I think when I go to renew my licence I am also going to assume my husband’s last name, however I will hyphenate my last name with my husbands paternal last name (though he is not of latin american descent, he has both parents last name, long story). I like the idea of sharing a last name with my husband, I would actually be proud to. I do not consider it ownership of any kind. My husband and I have a egalitarian relationship where he acknowledges me in my own right. I am a strong independent woman, but I think some of the feminism stuff goes way too far. I rather feel empowered based on my interpretation of this tradition. 

    Post # 100
    Member
    140 posts
    Blushing bee

    I am a non typical case, because we are not planning to get married (I’m here for the nesting forums!) If we did get married in the future, I would keep my last name. I am mid 30s and I work for a family business that has my name in the title. Plus I am the only person who can carry the name on as I am an only child with no cousins. I just don’t want to change my name.  I have been my name for a long time now and it feels right – it’s who I am!

    I am currently pregnant and our child will have my last name as a middle name and his as a last name. My SO would be ok using my last name for our child, but I think it would kick up a lot of issues with his family (who are already going to struggle with the whole baby with no marriage thing) so it’s not worth the hassle. 

    Most of the people in my life do change their last names after marriage. I must admit I do love when someone at least considers keeping their last name. I just don’t like that it is automatic that the woman must take the man’s last name. Or really I guess that the child takes the father’s last name.

    Post # 101
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    I’ll definitely change my name. I feel no attachment to my own last name and I like the way his sounds better, simple as that. If I liked my own name I would probably keep it though.

    Post # 102
    Member
    627 posts
    Busy bee

    jessrohde08 :  Life is more interesting when you are able to consider that other people’s choices are also valid. Reducing name choices you wouldn’t make to “psychotic feminism” isn’t right.

    Post # 103
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    personally i think you should be free to choose as you wish. We both decided to change our names to become a new family alltogether. we meshed our surnames using half of each name and did this using a deed poll. We absolutely love our new names and both feel like it encapsulates the best part of our lives before we met and now we are married and one unit. 

    Post # 104
    Member
    518 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    The main reason I changed mine is because I want my children to have the same last name as me, as a whole family unit. And, my maiden name is always mispronounced and I get sick of saying it correctly for everyone or spelling it out.

    Not at all bashing anyone who did not change their last name, to each their own, but I did have a question for those of you that want children. Just curious. How do you decide which last name your child will get, and will the other spouse ever feel bad or resentful that their children do not have their name?

    Post # 105
    Member
    140 posts
    Blushing bee

    I still do not understand how a name change opinion is anywhere near “feminist” bad or good. From what I gathered, thats not what it is about at all.

    I will prob keep my middle and change my last name. I will still get called by my last name for life by friends no matter what, because it is interesting. Thats ok with me. 

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