(Closed) Changing Your Mind?

posted 10 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I understand what you’re going through.  I change my mind a lot too so with the planning process I have tried to make sure I am 100% sure before going ahead with booking anyone.  For example, when I went to book the reception location, I went to all the local sites I was thinking about, narrowed it down to 3, and then emailed all my questions (they were the same questions) to the wedding managers at those locations.  I then based the reception location on those answers and how I felt about each location when I was there.  All in all the process took me a little over a week to decide which one was right.  Same goes for the DJ.  I emailed at least 15-20 DJs/Bands basically all the same questions, and then went over all the answers and narrowed it down.  I asked the catering manager at my reception location for her input, but ultimately made my own decision based on the answers I was given from the DJs, the promptness of responses, the enthusiasm towards my wedding, and overall impression I got. 

Maybe with the next thing you book, just take a step back and think about what you REALLY want before you book.  Make sure you exhaust all your options before moving ahead with something and putting the deposit down.  I haven’t had a single regret or feeling that I booked the wrong person (yet).  I think it is because I really took my time and asked a lot of questions before I finally booked places and people.

As far as the photographer goes, losing $750 is a lot.  But, if you are still going to end up spending $300 less in the end, maybe that is the way to go.  It’s a personal decision only you can make–if you are just in love with this new photographer, talk it over with Dear Fiance and whomever’s paying (parents maybe?  if it’s you and Dear Fiance then just talk with him!) and see what their opinions are on it.  But ultimately, in the end, you have to be happy with the decision you make.  Just think everything over long and hard before you make any final decisions.

Post # 4
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

How far out are you? I find that the more time people have, the more they change their mind. You need to draw a line for yourself that means that you can’t change it. For most it would be putting down a deposit, but if you don’t mind losing the deposit, go for it. Maybe you should do more looking before you do anymore contract signing. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind, but it’s not going to be fun to second guess yourself the whole time. Explore more options, then give yourself a couple of weeks to think all of it through. Then book and be happy.

Post # 5
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

Just don’t second-guess your choice of groom, and you should be fine.  🙂  Sounds like all of your second-guesses are saving you money, so that’s good, but I agree with KateMW that it’s not a fun way to plan.  The problem with wedding planning is that there are so many good things to choose from, and so few "wrong" choices….my philosophy early on was to choose something great and go with it, because I could’ve driven myself crazy and taken up WAY too much time searching for something "perfect" (which probably doesn’t exist anyway). 

Of course, I’m the person who bought a second wedding dress the day before my wedding b/c I was having second thoughts about mine, so I never did completely shake the regret bug.  I ended up wearing my original wedding dress, which meant that my second dress (and its last minute alterations) was a big waste of money, but the photographer seemed to get a kick out of watching me pick which dress to wear an hour before the ceremony……

Anyway, maybe sleeping on your decisions for a little while longer, or talking them over with others a bit more, would help avoid future changes.  Or maybe a wedding planner to bounce things off of? 

Best of luck.  🙂 

 

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Oh kenziegirl!  I hope I didn’t get you started on the photog search again!!!  Are you interested in Laura now? 

I think with whatever you plan you will second-guess yourself, especially with the wedding being months away.  You need to weigh the pros and cons, and if you truly are worried, go with your instincts.  If you aren’t comfortable, and won’t lose out monetarily, maybe going with another photog wouldn’t be a bad decision.

Post # 9
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Haha!  I am sorry to introduce you to her!  Now I feel really bad!  Have you met with her?  Maybe she won’t have the personality like your other photographer, or her photos might not be as awesome as those on her site.  These are questions I am asking myself!  I am actually meeting with her on Wednesday. 

Have you heard anything about what Liana and Joe thought of Laura? 

Post # 11
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

read my post- Fed Up Minimalist Bride to Be Seeks Advise

 

it will make you feel better, i promise!

Post # 12
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m totally the same way… we have a long engagement, which is great in many ways but leaves WAY too much time for regret! I feel like I rushed into booking our photographer too quickly — some of the photogs I liked best were already booked on our date, so I was afraid to wait too much longer — and now I have second thoughts every time I discover a great new photography blog. We’ve paid a big deposit already so I have no choice at this point, but I really wish I had taken more time to decide and not jumped to put a deposit down right away. I just keep reminding myself that at the end of the day, none of this stuff really matters as long as I’m married! 

Post # 13
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We must be twins b/c I swear I change my mind EVERYDAY!  I can barely pick a date and stick with it for 3 days : ).  There are so many different options and the possibilities are endless. 

I truly empathize with you b/c I have second guessed every decision including the date, location, photographer, style, theme, colors, dress, reception centerpieces, size of the wedding/wedding party/reception – and that is just the tip of the iceberg!  And guess what?  We have been engaged for only 5 months with 9 months to go.  The sad thing is that my fiance is at his breaking point b/c every few days I have a "final" decision only to change my mind AGAIN. 

I don’t really know what the answer is, but I sure wish I did.  My new approach is to keep my decisions to myself, and to wait before booking anyone or paying a deposit until I have waited at least 7 days.  I hope this works.  If not, maybe someone has a better idea . . . .

Just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I feel like I’m changing my mind on all the little details. We are having a long engagement so the time doesn’t help. We had no choice really, we’re paying for the wedding ourselves so the time was set to save a certain amount. I made my decisions pretty quick on color theme, DJ, photographer, venue and date. I do some graphic design in my job and a lot on the side so my biggest interest is in the DIY projects – to be honest I could care less about focusing on anything else but the crafty projects. I constantly change my mind on centerpieces, Save-The-Date Cards, what our website should look like and finding inspiration for an invitation. Six months into our engagement I  had finally found inspiration and made a sample of my invitation. It was really unique and I even refused to tell friends and family about it because I wanted something to be a surprise. The other night I was in Michaels with my Fiance starting to look for supplies for my invitations and realized it was going to be more hassle, work and cost than I had expected for a DIY invite. I was browsing the clearence section and came across a DIY invite set that had caught my eye at Michaels over the summer. The thing I clung to the most was making an original invite myself. Next thing you know I’m checking out with the invites and coordinating programs for $40 total!!

Post # 15
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

When it came to wedding-altering decisions, I found it rewarding to go with my gut.  I switched photographers, lost my deposit, and I dont regret it in the slightest.  I think I would have regretted it deeply if I didn’t go with my gut and switch.  I hope this helps you to follow your heart!

Post # 16
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2009

We got engaged in October and our wedding is in April so we have less than 6 months to plan (3.5 months to go!). I’ve already changed our location twice, booked lodging and then cancelled to book elsewhere, and I’m on my 2nd dress (which I’m sticking with!). I thought I was the most indecisive bride ever, so reading your blog post was a relief. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with changing your vendors as long as you don’t wait until the last minute. You should be 100% happy with your choices!

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