(Closed) Changing your name?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Last name

    taking his

    keep you own

    hypen it

    he's taking yours

  • Post # 17
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My Fiance is Polish too… I will be taking his 10-letter last name rather than my maiden name, which is English and very easy for Americans to pronounce/spell.


    I’m excited!  Legally I’m keeping my maiden name and just adding his, but I will go by Firstname Hislast practically speaking.

    Post # 18
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’m taking his last name and have my last name be my middle name instead. I currently don’t have a middle name so this will be totally new to me!

    Post # 19
    314 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m keeping my name.  I don’t see any point in either of us changing our names.  As for kids, I’m not changing my whole legal, professional, and social identity for someone who does not exist, and might possibly never exist. Also, how many men do that?  Some do, but they choose it.  Most men don’t even consider it and certainly aren’t expected to like women are.  


    I don’t even have anything published in my name, nor do I have a particularly interesting one.  I just don’t see the point of changing it.

    Post # 21
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I can’t vote because I will just add his after my last name – no hyphen.  Reasons:

    1. I like my name too much to change it.  

    2. My siblings and I are not having children so the name will die with me (I’m the youngest) and there are no extended family with the name. I’m adding his name to mind because he is the last in his family with his name – I would be honored to take it.

    3. Professional

    First name, middle name, maiden name, his name (CARA) – It will just be one long name, LOL.  

    If I HAD to drop a name, I’d rather drop my first name and just go by the middle and two last names.  



    Post # 22
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Oddly, this is FI’s only “dealbreaker” type issue. He has told me he would put the wedding on hold if I wasn’t considering taking his name. He’s pretty proud of his Scottish heritage (never remind him he’s only a 1/4 Scottish if you want to live). 

    Luckily for me, I was planning on taking his name anyway.

    Post # 23
    4873 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @jbbs1222:  I’m going to take my husbands last name…..but to tell the truth i’ll be a bit sad saying good bye to my last name!!!

    my FI’s last name is so common and doesn’t really hint to his or my ethnic background!!! I look italian and my Fiance looks eurasian and we are ending up with a surname that to most people seems english! its not….its portuguese!

    I would hyphenate but with our surnames it would be  just too long to be practical!!

    Post # 24
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013


    Post # 25
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I am going to use a hyphen…it will then be Hall-Caughman. My dad, “Pop” – who was technically my step dad- asked me to change my last name to his before he passed in 2011. He said I was his daughter just as if I had his DNA…and he didn’t have biological children. He and my FH were very close in a short time so this is my way of paying tribute to the 2 most memorable men in my life. My FH thinks this is a FABULOUS idea…he is ALL for it!


    Post # 26
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Im keeping mine. My first and last name combination sounds better than using his last name

    Post # 27
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Kept my last name, never thought a woman should change her name just because she gets married. DH wanted me to change my name but its not something I could live with. I told him I would respond to Mrs. hislastname because people usually assume that’s the way it is. He’s cool with that. 


    Post # 28
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I noticed a lot of FIs here almost insist that their wives change their name. Most guys I’ve known over the years either don’t care if their wives change their name or not or don’t care for the tradition at all and prefer that she keep her name.

    I talked it over with Fiance and he doesn’t care either way as long as we get married. 🙂  I then looked over what to do when it comes to changing your name after marriage:

    A marriage license with your new last name does not automatically mean you’ve changed it. You shouldn’t change your name before the honeymoon, because your new name has to match all travel documents, most importantly, your passport — processing name changes on passports generally takes anywhere from four to six weeks. (Hint: Make it easy on yourself and get the Name Change Kit on TheNest.com.)


    Getting a marriage license with your new name on it does not mean your name has automatically changed.

    1. Get your marriage license 
    Before you can change your name, you’ll need the original (or certified) marriage license with the raised seal and your new last name on it. Call the clerk’s office where your license was filed to get copies if one wasn’t automatically sent to you.

    2. Change your Social Security card 
    Visit the Social Security Administration’s website and fill out the application for a new Social Security card. You’ll keep the same number — just your name will be different. Mail in your application to the local Social Security Administration office. You should get your new card within 10 business days.

    3. Change your license at the DMV 
    Take a trip to the local Department of Motor Vehicles office to get a new license with your new last name. Bring every form of identification you can lay your hands on — your old license, your certified marriage license and — most important — your new Social Security card.

    4. Change your bank accounts 
    This one’s a biggie, especially if you’re setting up a joint bank account, or if you have one already set up. The fastest way to change your name at your bank is to go into a branch location — bring your new driver’s license and your marriage license. You should request new checks and debit and credit cards on top of changing the name attached to your accounts. Something to note: You might get hit with fees for requesting a new debit card.

    4. Fill in the blanks 
    Once you have a social security card and driver’s license in your married name, other changes should be fairly easy. Some places only require a phone call; others may ask for a copy of your marriage certificate or social security card. Be sure to notify:


    • Employers/payroll
    • Post office
    • Electric and other utility companies
    • Credit card companies
    • Schools and alumni associations
    • Landlord or mortgage company
    • Insurance companies (auto, home, life)
    • Doctors’ offices
    • Voter registration office
    • Investment account providers
    • Your attorney (to update legal documents, including your will)
    • Passport office


    Crap that’s a lot of work! I guess its not a big deal if you’re still very young, living with parents and haven’t had much time to establish a life, but when you’re well into your adulthood and want to do a legal change of name, it looks like more work than its worth.  

    Post # 29
    717 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    I took his last name and I was able to change my name on EVERYTHING in a day in a half. My driver license, ss card, all bank accounts, insurance policies… actually probably took less than a day. It was easy as pie so I don’t understand this whole… it’s so hard to change my name and I have been an adult for 20 years, so I had 20 years of stuff.

    Post # 30
    653 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @DJones69:  I assume your post was a a slightly passive aggressive response to mine above regarding name changes. I’m glad it was easy as pie for you but don’t assume it will be the case for everyone.  

    Post # 31
    717 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    @CARA1978:  I’m never passive aggressive. I say what I mean the way I mean it the first time. Don’t get all up in your feelings. You aren’t the first person on this whole website that has said such a thing.


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