(Closed) Changing your SO

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

He has gotten much better with:

> Toilet lid down when flushing

> Smarter/more thoughtful with money

> Cooking and eating at home more often than eating out

> Not neglecting his wants/needs to be there for others

 

I am much better with:

> Not needing to have every aspect of my life planned out

> Not freaking out about money

> Living in the now

Post # 19
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I like to think that being with me inspired him to be more successful.. and he has double his salary in the two years that we’ve been together. I’ve also gotten him to go back to school. I think I was just the fire under his butt to get his s*** together. Ha.

He’s changed the entire way I think of men. I had been really hardcore in the dating scene and treated men the way.. men treat women. They were disposable and I made that known to them. Dare I say I was a little dead inside…? But hes changed me in that I dont see people that way anymore.. I dont need to. He showed me that there are stand-up, decent men in this world… who have the ability to APPRECIATE you..  Who knew!!

Post # 20
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve finally got him to watch Hockey with me and he enjoyed it!  Might be a closet CAPS fan!! ๐Ÿ™‚ 

But the biggest thing is finally after almost 6yrs, have him convinced to go to DISNEY and hopefully enjoy it!!  We’re going in 3 weeks from today!!!!! I’m so excited can’t wait to go again.  I haven’t been down there since we first talked on the phone in Dec. 2007!  Now we’re going together for 4th of July.

 

He’s taught me…something can’t think of it right now.

Post # 21
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I taught my SO how to dress for his age, size, career. He owned a bunch of tshirts and jeans that were at least three sizes big when I met him, and had a terrible pair of outdated glasses to boot. I fixed that, he now doesn’t mind me dragging him shopping. Hah. 

 

I also helped him grow a backbone, when I met him he let people walk all over him, I couldn’t understand it. He now has the ability to say no to someone, or tell someone to f-off if it’s needed. 

Post # 22
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

He’s helped me with:

– being more relaxed, less Type-A

– trying new things

– being aware of how much I spend when I go out with friends

– focusing on my schoolwork

 

I’ve helped him with:

– being more aware of how he speaks (he is still working on saying ‘whenever’ when he really means ‘when’, like “Whenever I went to the store earlier…”; he’s getting better)

– budgeting overall

– being more aware of what he eats

Post # 23
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I have made him more relaxed about the home not being perfectly clean at all times, taught him that cats can be as lovable as dogs, taught him how to keep his cool and say things in a polite assertive way rather than openly aggressive way in some circumstances, got him over his swimming phobia (he almost drowned as a kid, now he wants to learn scuba with me), oh and taught him to love and trust with a full, joyful heart again and that not all women are two-faced evil sociopaths (his ex).

He taught me that my opinion always has value, especially in situations where people (family members) kept putting me down, he taught me that my little brother is not a child anymore and can take hearing the hard truth without crumbling, that I’m irresistably sexy, that it can feel good, not bad, to be disliked by people if it’s for a reason you’re proud to be disliked for, that the kitchen is not a scary place, that my personality itself is inspirational to some people, the benefits of coasters, that I’m worth being treated well (including treating myself well), to trust my instinct when it goes against the grain because it is generally informed by a hell of a lot of research, and most other people’s beliefs aren’t, and when I lead somewhere, as long as I do so with the best intention and ability I can, at least one person will always be behind me and supporting through thick and through thin, and it’s the only person who really matters. He taught me that I already “have it all.” ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 24
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
@mrssrm:  I am SO glad to hear that the receipt phenomenon is not just my Fiance.  Sometimes I clean out his  desk in our office and I’ll find receipts for fast food or a package of gum from month’s prior. He is making an effort to be better about it at least!  And he’s such a tidy person otherwise, so it really boggles my mind haha

To answer the original question,  I’ve taught my Fiance  how to cook more, be more confident and how to be more comfortable with interacting with others (he has social anxiety).  And thanks to all the weddings we’ve attended together, I’ve taught him how to dance too! ๐Ÿ™‚

He has taught me how to manage my money effectively,  learn all sorts of technology, and to speak Spanish. He also taught me how to use public transit, which was a big project because we moved to NYC for a couple years and I had never even ridden a bus before, let alone a subway, commuter train, taxi, etc. 

 

Post # 25
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

 he does not keep his clothes in a garbage bag…seriously.

he washes whites and darks seperatly.

i was the first one to teach him how to clean the bath. he never had to do it before.

taught him how to cook- in our later years;) like a meatloaf

he doesnt drink as much. never hard alchy any more.

i taught him to put the seat down….he started never putting it up and just aiming in..so i had to teach him to put it back up lol he would always be busted cuz the seat is sticky!! you cant just wipe if off with paper. ๐Ÿ˜›

oh and i taught him how to drive!!!my fav

im also trying to teach him how to match clothes

most is just teaching and not changing.

 

HE TAUGHT ME

he taught me to cook when i first met him (back then that ment pork chops)

to stick up for myself-even when him

to fish! and hunt

to not be so super clean. and chill some times.

to not be afraid….though he doesnt work for everything lol

he taught me football

he taught me to be myself:)

to not use that tone of voice;) i never knew tones are everything

to not eat the whole half a pie…i guess you could call that sharing.

to shop based on whats on sale

hes always teaching me new words too. hes way better at english than i


 

 

Post # 26
Member
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
@rickhurst35:  Alas, as my father always says, “common sense isn’t so common…”

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