Post # 1
Lately my Fiance and I have been trying to decide on what we want to do for favors for our May 2018 Wedding? We are having a pretty formal wedding with about 150 guests. We both know if we did a favor, it cant be tacky or something with our names on it because that is not our style. I wouldnt want to do something useless that most guests would throw away after too. If we did anything, I feel like we would do a little cookie or something to take home.
What we have been thinking about, is making a big donation to the non-profit I volunteer for that is very near and dear to my heart. We like this idea because it seems like a better use of our money. I hate the idea of wasting hundreds of dollars on stuff that people are just going to throw to the side and never use again.
The non-profit is local and very specific in what it does for the community. The donation we are thinking of making would make a direct impact, which is really cool to think about.
I guess all in all, Im asking for opinions on whether this is normal or not or even okay to do. And if we do it, how do we let our guests know that we did this instead of favors.
Post # 2
We’re doing this. We set aside a specific amount in our budget for favors, decided against doing them at all (we’re going to do a late night snack and have cake so I feel an edible favor is pointless), and we’re going to take that money and donate it to cancer research. We picked this since we both have a lot of immediate family who have been affected by cancer.
Post # 3
My honest opinion:
1. Favors are completely unnecessary. We had a fairly fancy wedding in a major Southern city and didn’t do them. I don’t think any of our guests even noticed.
2. If you feel you MUST do them, make it edible. Chocolates, macarons, a monogrammed cookie, etc. A few yummy bites for the road.
3. I really dislike charity donations in lieu of favors. One, if you want to donate a big chunk of money to non-profit, just do it. No need to tell your guests how charitable you are. Two, many people don’t appreciate money being donated in their name to a charity they don’t know about or don’t support.
Post # 4
Okay nice! I think we may be doing the late night snack thing as well, so that definitely makes sense.
Do you plan on having a sign that you states that you made a donation or anything like that? Thanks for your help!
Post # 5
We are donating in lieu of favors. Fiance and I are big into service, and we help with a homeless ministry together. We will be donating to that. Hope this helps!
Post # 6
Make the donation, and if you want to draw attention to the charity, put up a sign that says something like “To celebrate their marriage, bride and groom have made a donation To Blah Charity. [Insert description here.]”
Leave out any words about “in lieu of favors,” “in honor of the guests,” etc. It would open you up to criticism- why in lieu of favors? Why not cut centerpieces and donate? Or why not ask that any gifts to the couple should actually be given to charity?
It’s better to have no favors than to try to pass off a donation as a favor.
Post # 7
While you have good intentions, making donations in lieu of wedding favors can come across as a bit off-putting, since you’re taking away something meant for the guests. No one ever decides to donate to charity in lieu of a $1000 wedding dress, or instead of flower centerpeices. I agree favors are usually a waste of money, so I say just skip them and have a fabulous wedding without them.
Post # 8
I think it’s fine to in your budget reallocate favors to charity. Just don’t announce it as “in lieu of favors”–that’s tacky. You can announce it all you want, just not in lieu of favors.
It is not a gift to ME as your guest to donate to your favorite charity in your name.
Families list charities for people to send “in lieu of flowers” for funerals because the flowers are for them, not for the guests.
Post # 9
It comes across as holier than thou when you announce where you give your donations. And as a guest it would not make me feel good to know you donated in lieu of a favor. Favors aren’t necessary at all. We didn’t have them and no one missed them.
Post # 10
I am all for donating to charity.
I am NOT for bragging about it.
Favors are optional anyway, so it always makes me feel like it is braggy when people point it out as if they are doing their guest a favor. Guests won’t miss favors. Just quietly give that money to charity. There is no need to make a point to them that you chose not to give them something to give to something else.
Post # 11
I think it would be lovely if you encouraged your guests to donate to charity in lieu of getting you a wedding gift.
It’s tacky to donate to charity in lieu of a wedding favor.
Post # 12
Have to say I disagree with almost everyone on here. I do not feel favors are optional. Perhaps it’s a local thing but I went to a wedding without favors and not only did everyone notice, people were gasping. I thought that was cheap and tacky of them. But another wedding announced a donation “in lieu of favors you don’t want or need” and everyone thought it was cute. But maybe I’m partial, I gave out full bottles of champagne so it wouldn’t get thrown out.
You should do what feels right to you.
Post # 13
anyone gasping in horror over a wedding without favours and referring to it as ‘cheap and tacky’ is missing a huge amount of irony.
Post # 14
a favor is a gift thanking people for coming out to your special day to celebrate with you. You should show your gratitude in some way similar to them showing their support
Post # 15
do not humblebrag at your wedding about donating to a charity- that would just make me feel stupid for giving you a gift you obviously don’t need. If you want people to donate to your charity then ask for donations in lieu of gifts. I don’t go to weddings to hear charity propaganda or get pressured into giving money away. You have your causes and I have mine, leave it alone. The point of charity is the give humbly, don’t brag. You want a gold star?