(Closed) Cheap Dad

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think their reactions have more to do with their attitude towards money in general than it has to do with you or your wedding.

Their thriftiness may have been  a big factor in them being able to save the money they gave you.

Our parents were born in and lived through different times than we us. For my first wedding my Mom showed up in a green polyester dress that she sewed herself. She was who she was. She passed away a few years ago. I would have been happy for her to show up at my second wedding – even wearing that green fortrel dress.

Post # 4
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Anise:  I don’t see a problem. I’m of the opinion that you can’t tell your parents what to wear to your wedding. If he wants to save on tux hire and wear a suit, let him. Especially when they’ve been so generous. If it’s really that important, pay for his tux hire yourselves.

Post # 5
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Anise:  I see more of a generational difference in how to handle money then a real “wedding” issue.  My parents are similar- very careful with money and hesitant to spend it on what they consider “luxeries”.  They have calmed down considerably now that we are 6+ months past the wedding, and they have seen that we aren’t spending money like crazy on everything.  For the stuff thats really important to you about the wedding day, consider “gifting” them with the new clothes/tux/make up as a thank you for the wonderful job they did raising you, and don’t worry to much about their attitude about the rest of it.  

Post # 6
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have the complete opposite problem with my Dad.  He is AMAZING please don’t get me wrong.  Money never ment anything to him, as a result he has none now, he’s 76 and still working full time.  He’s a spry guy, people think he’s in his 50’s but if he had been a little thriftier he would have been doing very well now, and not worrying his kids about his finances.   

I am so proud of the good things my Dad has done, the people he’s helped, the things my siblings/nieces/nephews have experienced, but a little less would have been ok too.  Don’t look at it as they are so cheap… they are really planning ahead and you won’t have to worry about them. 

Post # 7
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I know where you’re coming from, but there are advantages to having “cheap” parents. If they’ve always been thrifty and careful with money, they’re less likely to have debt or financial drama in their old age. And their saving habits have allowed them to have things like a college fund, to help you out with your wedding, etc.

Post # 10
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@Anise:  SO just buy it for your mom. “Mom, I already bought it for you. Just wear the pretty dress”

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