Post # 1
Hi ladies. I was wondering if I could get some opinions on this issue I’m having. I’ve been living with my BF for two years, and we are going into our 6th year of dating. Our first two or three years were very rocky because after one year of dating seriously, I had to move out of state for the following two years. Things got rough, and I found that he was communicating with an ex and she was texing him pictures of herself in her underwear. He swore it didn’t go beyond that ( his ex lives in another state, but does visit) I broke up with him at the time, but quickly agreed to work it out, chocking it up to the distance causing all the problems, and looked at how I could have done better. Last year I found out he drove this ex to the airport when she was visiting around the time she was sending him the pictures. Still, he swears nothing happened and she begged him out of desperation for a ride ( we are still living in different states at the time he drove her) in the two years we have been living together I haven’t had any other issues, except catching him in a white lie or two. We have been happy for the most part, except I feel because of that past situation I have trust issues, as i feel he did actually cheat on me years ago. I chose to forgive him back then, but never expected these feelings to lingure so long. He’s now talking about marriage quite frequently, and although I love him deeply, am not sure if I can go through with it, with these trust issues. Any advice?
Post # 2
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
I think you need counselling for yourself so you can get to the bottom of whether this is a deal breaker for you or not. From the sounds of it, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to trust him – and that is not a way I would enter into marriage.
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re in this position. None of us can say if he cheated. His behaviour has been unacceptable in the past, that’s certain. But I do know that you shouldn’t marry a person if you don’t trust them – that will never end well.
Post # 4
Let’s just say I’m very, very skeptical of the “She begged him for a ride to the airport” story. The ex didn’t have to ask him for a ride to the airport. The very fact that she was visiting the state means she was visiting someone, so she had other options.
Post # 5
From what you’ve been saying I would be very skeptical about it, things don’t add up and sound right. And sending pictures of her in her underwear… Come on that is far from innocent! It’s hard to believe when he actually saw her in reality nothing goes on. Personally I would put it down to cheating.
Now you need to decide what to do about it. Will you ever be able to trust him? Can this relationship really progress forward with it like this? Without trust marriage or a future relationship is going to be off the tables. Can you talk to him about and it and get him to be frank? Or will he most likely lie about it? i think only you can know whether to get past it but I think personally you won’t be able to because it’s been years already and you can’t get past it.
Post # 6
Thank you so much girls : )