- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I have never even written on a forum before but I think it’s only appropriate i write in this one if any. I don’t think anyone has a story like this and to be honest, I hope no one has to go through anything remotely like this one but here goes..
I have been with Eric for 8 years. I am 23 years old. He is my only boyfriend/partner/lover. He was the good guy. The guy that literally could do no wrong my family adored him, friends admired our relationship and how much of a nice guy he was to the point where I would seem like the bad guy and he was the good guy.
I am a traditional girl of Greek origin and I was raised that you sleep with one man, your husband to be whether before or after marriage is irrelevant but there has to be intention of marriage.
We are best friends. And i have been waiting to get married since I was 10 years old. Its my dream, not the wedding the actual marriage. And its his dream too, its always been me and him. So you can imagine the devastation that was brought to me when a hairdresser saw a pic of my boyfriend and told me he had slept with her best friend. To top it off, the day I found out he cheated was actually the day before he had a massive proposal planned that all my family knew about apart from me. Thats what hurt the most.
He cheated on me 4 times in total. all one night stands and they were spaced out over the 8 years i dont know exactly when they happened.
After 2 months of grovelling to the point of suicide begging and pleading with me and my family i took him back. The reason: 8 years of feeling like a princess and being treated like one and being happy and secure cannot be ignored just for meaningless sex with strangers.
So, we are working on it. He went ahead with his proposal 2 months later, I said yes, we had a massive engagement party (250 people, £50,000 later) and here we are. Wedding booked in October in the most prestigious venue in town and my dream wedding is coming together.
Problem: I don’t trust him, I am having a really hard time trusting again. I feel paranoid, insecure and on edge whenever he goes out drinking etc. The one night stands happened in environments surrounded by drink and scantily clad women.
Now, he has never been to Vegas and wants to go for his bachelor party. How can I say no you can’t go when I have been 3 times with girlfriends and I do believe it is a man’s divine right to have that time with his friends and go wild.
I don’t care about strippers, I don’t care about lapdances, pool parties, clubs. I care about after the club in the hotel room is he going to have sex with another woman.
I need help – I feel so lost and scared and alone. I feel like there is literally not one single woman that has this horible story that I do. Only my immediate family know and i cant talk to them because I don’t want to dampen the wedding excitement.
Its not even a qestion of whether i shoudl marry him or not i just want to know HOW can we get the trust back. Ive tried therapy but it really doesnt help me.
Please help me girls. I need help.. :(:(