(Closed) **CHEATING FIANCE, ADVICE PLEASE?!?!**

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9828 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Cut your losses now. Breaking up is easier than divorcing.

Post # 3
Member
47187 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There has never been a doubt in my mind he was an honest man, I never feared of him doing anything behind my back or cheating on me.

Apparently you were mistaken.

Having been in your position, I agree- cut your losses.

Post # 4
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Why in the world would you want to work through this?

Post # 6
Member
1825 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Your instincts were correct the whole time… now is the time to really start listening to them.  Leave.  

Post # 7
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Leave him, he will cheat on you again, you deserve better!

Post # 8
Member
6663 posts
Bee Keeper

There’s no working through something with a man like this–he is still lying to you, for starters. Any time he is five minutes late you’ll be wondering where he is and with whom. He was engaged to you and telling some 18 year-old he was going to marry and have children with her!! 

Thank the stars you found out who he is before you married him. You can do better, Bee. So much, much, much better. Cut him loose. Hugs. 

Post # 9
Member
4027 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

He is a disgusting filthy person. He completely duped everyone and is a pathological liar.

You need to be done with him as he most assuredly will do it again, maybe this time it will be with a 16 year old who he can manipulate like he did to you and everyone else.

Post # 10
Member
4825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Too many details. 

He cheated, is a habitual liar and a manipulator. There is nothing to fix here. 

Leave him and find someone better. This part shouldn’t be hard.  

Post # 11
Member
1505 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My little sister is 17.  I doubt the 18-year-old was much more mature than her.  If a 27-year-old man took advantage of her and PREYED on her like that, I would imagine violence against him, let alone being willing to marry a man who would do that. 

Post # 12
Member
694 posts
Busy bee

Don’t get stuck in the cycle. A friend of mine has been stuck in it for 5 years now. It never changes they just get better at hiding, lying, and manipulating. Plus at this point the trust is broken.. if he ever went anywhere and didn’t want you to come little alarms would go off. You can’t live life like that. My sister just had a similar situation with her fiance and her best friend. They say they never actually had sex but the only reason my sister found out was because the girls bf found out and was going to contact her so her fiance started fessing up. All the planning and behind the back stuff is the worst part for sure.

Be smart. There are plenty of people out there for you and I can tell you this for sure: Someone who truly loves you wouldn’t treat you like this. Period.

Post # 13
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

How can someone be capable of this level of manipulation and deception?”

Because he is a creep.

it would be different if this was some lapse in judgement that he confessed to you, but this was all a big planned ruse that he would not admit too until you shoved the evidence down his throat. And then he was “sorry for lying.” I’ll bet. You do not deserve this, at all. 

Post # 14
Member
2579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Leave. Leave. Leave. Don’t let his dirty dick back in your life. Fuck this guy for making you feel dumb. You were right all along and he is an ass. I’m so sorry this happened to you but I am so happy you found out before the wedding. 

 

Run! And never look back!

Post # 15
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I oten disagree with other Bees when they say someone should end a relationship over a “mistake,” but in this case I totally agree with the PP – you need to cut your losses and start over with someone else (after you’ve healed empotionally, of course).  This was not a one night stand or something that can be explained away as a drunken act of bad judgment.  This was pre-meditated and lasted for weeks or months, and if not for John’s wife, you would still be clueless about it all.  

Seriously – move out and move on.  The fact that he continued to lie to you even after you told him that you had proof speaks volumes.  

ETA:  and the fact thaat he did this after you changed your life and moved for him makes it even worse.  He’s truly an asshole who doesn’t appreciate or deserve you.

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