(Closed) Cheating fiance

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you tell her?
    Tell her anonymously : (70 votes)
    64 %
    Tell her in person and risk all sorts of issues : (23 votes)
    21 %
    Stay out of it and keep your mouth shut : (13 votes)
    12 %
    Other: explain below : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1267 posts
    Bumble bee

    @should_I:

    Yes – get her the info secretly.  So many other women will tell you not to tell her and let her find out on her own but this is how we strip power from each other and beat each other down.  God knows if diseases are being spread around from this kind of groupie thing but on top of that here is a girl that is hurting and depressed.  To withhold this information from her is wrong on every level.  That doesn’t mean you need to involve yourself.  Do it secretly but please do it.  We should really live by the adage of ‘harm no one’ and if you do nothing they could be harmed far worse than if you do something.  If you don’t believe in that, how about the golden rule? 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I agree, find a way to get the info to her. Try not to get involved, but she needs to know.

    Post # 5
    Hostess
    18644 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think you need to tell her to her face but you might need proof.  She probably wouldn’t believe someone who would tell her anonymously.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee

    He sounds like a total jerk! Who calls their fiance a “bar whore”? For that reason I would totally let her know… anonymously. I honestly don’t think I could live with myself if I let someone marry sombody I knew was cheating. However, make sure your Fiance won’t completely freak out… if he is the only one who knows it might mean trouble for him and his “friend”.

    The only reason I say anonymously is because a lot of times women and even men will totaly freak out on the messanger when being told that their SO is not faithful. If you are anonymous you can’t be the target of anger from him, or even both of them.

    Post # 7
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @should_I:

    Well, it’s quite easy to do it secretly or anonymously. Create a fake hotmail account. (Takes about 3 minutes) and email her from there.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    She needs to know – I would also try to let her know anonymously if you can, but she really needs to know either way.  This isn’t a healthy situation for her to be in, especially if she is depressed and the two of them are arguing and fighting all the time on top of the cheating.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Oh my god, I normally tell people to stay out of it but this is out of control. I definitely think you should say something. If you don’t think it will cause problems for your Fiance then go ahead and tell her directly! This makes me hate people so much, how could anyone do this to someone else?

    Post # 10
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Send her an anonymous typed letter or something like that. You definitely dont want to get in the middle of this so thats why it should be anonymous! Or create a fake email address and send her an email….oy vey 🙁

    Post # 11
    Member
    825 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Let us know how it goes, you should definitely say something. That guy is an A**hole!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Anonymous note/email for sure. A la Jersey Shore. haha.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Yeah, normally I would tell you to mind your own beez-wax but DAMN. You can’t let this girl have her FI’s mistress as her bridesmaid!  That’s crazy!  Definitely let her know.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1893 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    In reponse to your latest question: not at all.  She can wait 12 days.

    The topic ‘Cheating fiance’ is closed to new replies.

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