Post # 46
I went through thousands of emails today, from both his accounts. I requested and retrieved deleted emails (both Yahoo and Gmail) during the past 30 days and looked back 4 years (since we started dating). I didn’t see anything suspicious aside from regular spam. He had deleted the CL mail and that was retrieved as well, but other than that, there was nothing I could find.
I went through texts and deleted texts (requested from Verizon) and didn’t see anything incriminating…
I am starting to think it was a one time thing given it was sent from his Yahoo mail, that he doesn’t use on a daily basis. I asked him about it and he said he didn’t want to get spammed with porn ads on his Gmail – fair enough.
It truly is a stupid thing that he did, but it doesn’t look like he actually cheated on me…
Post # 47
it’s up to you to decide what’s best for you. Just keep in mind that leaving can be a lot harder the longer you stay. The longer you stay the more likely you’ll have property together, children and so on. Just please consider what’s could be best for you and your happiness vs whether or not he actually cheated. Hope things work out well for you.
Post # 48
andy05 : agree with keepingitreal8675309 : – just want to add that you must also consider the message your behavior sends. So if you let this go with no consequence, you’re inadvertently sending the message that you will tolerate this.
If you are planning on staying with him and want the best chance for success, make sure you take appropriate actions right now to protect yourself and out yourself/dignity/self esteem first.
TBH, I have low hopes for him, but I’m just trying to help you given that it seems you’re looking for ways to make this okay.
Post # 49
andy05 : How did you get access to deleted texts? Verizon will not just give you deleted texts (aside from just a sent and received log with phone numbers and times – absolutely no content of messages) without a court order subpoena.
Post # 50
He’s snowing you. Look at his phone records. He should have been on the phone with his friend while he was sending dick pics to the prostitute, right? You know, because that’s what you do with your friends for *fun*.
Post # 51
- Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space
FWIW my friend and I have made Craigslist ads for jokes, but 1. they were quite obvious they were jokes, 2. we made them, not responded to any with actual meet up requests and 3. not while or since either of us have been in relationships.
So seems a bit weird.
Also, definitely not impressed with that text message. Kind of gross, actually.
If you’re convinced now that it was just that one time and/or he possibly doesn’t know what a joke is, work through it together. Don’t let him speak to you like in that text or manipulate you, though. That’s almost more of a red flag than this incident tbh.
Post # 52
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
andy05 : Also, what makes you think he doesn’t have other email accounts he hasn’t told you about? It takes about 2 minutes to make one.
Do what you want, but this would not ally my fears at all.
Post # 53
Guys, maybe he didn’t cheat.
Maybe he really was messing around with his friend and harrassing prostitute online.
Men do dumb shit when they’re together.
Post # 54
Don’t get me wrong, I am still considering DIVORCING HIM. I am so pissed off.
I don’t trust him and I have been looking into all accounts (from him).
jannigirl : I just looked and IT DOESN’T ADD UP… UGH
Post # 55
One time cheater or habitual cheating, its still cheating in my book. The fact you have not come across other instances of such behavior wouldn’t ease my concerns.
He was intimate in his response by sending a photo of himself and considering he was defensive, asking you not to share this information with any friends or family leads me to believe his intentions were not honorable, not even joke worthy.
Post # 56
anonbee4000 : Are you serious with that defense?
Post # 57
bridetobe2018 : well, you never know. It’s kinda not fair for everybody to assume about something.
I don’t ever like to tell people they did something when I don’t have 100% proof.
I would tell OP to try to get him to spill the beans so she knows for sure.
Post # 58
anonbee4000 : I totally agree with your latest response. I was just concerned at first by the note that harassing a prostitute because boys will be boys is any less offensive.
Post # 59
He’s lying & he’s despicable. I’d tell everyone you know what a scumbag he is & move back to Europe.
Post # 60
anonbee4000 : Exactly what kind of evidence are you looking for? There is an incriminating e-mail he sent, photo and all. Seems like evidence to me. If you are trying to prove what his intentions were, whatever they were they were not considerate to his wife. A married man should not behave this way. Theres plenty of harmless jokes that can be made with friends, this is not one of them.