(Closed) Cheating: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Have you talked to your husband about this yet?

Post # 4
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

1. Why were they there alone watching tv, while the BFF and wife were gone?

Also, talk to him and ask him about it. See what he says. If it did happen, if you love him, you can work through it.

Post # 5
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m really sorry:( I would suggest marriage counseling, and thats all I’ve got. If you really love him and want to make it work, hopefully you can work on building back trust. Its going to take a while, but its worth a shot. If it doesn’t work and you decide to go your seperate ways, then you cant say you didnt try!

Post # 6
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you need to talk to your husband first.  Based on that conversation, seeing a marriage counselor may be appropriate.  This is just my opinion, but if this is the first incident that has happened, I don’t think it should overwhelm the 7 good years that you have had together.  Marriage involves good times and bad times.  What he did wasn’t right, but I don’t think it should be the sole reason for a marriage ending either.

Post # 8
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just be careful and speak to your husband first.  Why was your BFF alone drinking wine with your husband when you were out of town?!  Just curious, doesn’t sit right with me.

They were BOTH drinking… you want to get the whole story. 

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ouch, I’m sorry you’re going through this. The fact that he tried this with your best friend makes the situation even worse. Why are men so stupid sometimes?

I don’t know that I would leave over something that didn’t actually happen but I can totally understand why you’re upset. Does he know that you know? I think you need to talk to him and tell him how hurt you are. Do you think he would agree to couples counseling?

ETA: I agree with the others. The fact that they were alone, drinking wine and watching TV while you were out of town is sketchy. 

Post # 10
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would definitely talk to your husband first. Is it possible she made a move on him and is now trying to turn things around? Maybe she midunderstood something? It isnt fair to get just one side – especially if you have had absolutely no reason to doubt your husband before this. Give yourself some time to approach him with questions rather than accusations.

 

I am so sorry that you are going through this!

 

Post # 11
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that you need to talk to your husband (if you haven’t already) and get his side of the story. See what he has to say and then go from there. It’s hard to give advice without knowing if you’ve talked with him or not and what he has to say.

Post # 13
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@RxBrideToBe: Have you talked to him about it? Start there. ONly you can decide if you want to stay or not. 
My question would be is why is your Boyfriend or Best Friend over at your house while you aren’t there and drinking? And if your husband says she was being suggestive, could it be that she is making things worse than what they are? Maybe she tried to make a move and he rejected her and now she’s pissed? 

Post # 14
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@RxBrideToBe: Men are very good at holding things in, it must have been bugging him about the proposal.  Still doesn’t excuse the situation you are both going through right now (which you already know).  I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.  Take some deep breaths.  You love him and he loves you.  Really open the lines of communication.  Wishing you the best

Post # 15
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Miss Tattoo: I was thinking the same thing. 

I would also make sure that they didnt actually do the deed.  This whole situation sounds strange.  My bff would never come over and see my fiance’ without me being here and nor would I ever do that to anyone else.  I would also feel paranoid everytime I went out of town or left him alone. 

What a tough situation!

Post # 16
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@blondilocks: Agreed. None of my friends would just come over and drink with Mr. Tattoo without me being there. I would def talk to both of them at the same time in the same room. The truth will come out. 

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