Post # 1
Who wants to write this post…..I wish it wasn’t me. Got married to highschool sweetheart in August. We have been together for 7 years. Went out of town for a week to see a friend in Chicago and when I returned my best friend pulled me aside and let me know that my hubby made a move on her. They were drinking wine and watching tv together and he tried to kiss her. I know nothing actually happened, but my trust is broken, my marriage is broken and I want to leave so I never have to feel this way again. Alright Bees….time for advice.
Post # 3
Have you talked to your husband about this yet?
Post # 4
1. Why were they there alone watching tv, while the BFF and wife were gone?
Also, talk to him and ask him about it. See what he says. If it did happen, if you love him, you can work through it.
Post # 5
I’m really sorry:( I would suggest marriage counseling, and thats all I’ve got. If you really love him and want to make it work, hopefully you can work on building back trust. Its going to take a while, but its worth a shot. If it doesn’t work and you decide to go your seperate ways, then you cant say you didnt try!
Post # 6
I think you need to talk to your husband first. Based on that conversation, seeing a marriage counselor may be appropriate. This is just my opinion, but if this is the first incident that has happened, I don’t think it should overwhelm the 7 good years that you have had together. Marriage involves good times and bad times. What he did wasn’t right, but I don’t think it should be the sole reason for a marriage ending either.
Post # 8
Just be careful and speak to your husband first. Why was your BFF alone drinking wine with your husband when you were out of town?! Just curious, doesn’t sit right with me.
They were BOTH drinking… you want to get the whole story.
Post # 9
Ouch, I’m sorry you’re going through this. The fact that he tried this with your best friend makes the situation even worse. Why are men so stupid sometimes?
I don’t know that I would leave over something that didn’t actually happen but I can totally understand why you’re upset. Does he know that you know? I think you need to talk to him and tell him how hurt you are. Do you think he would agree to couples counseling?
ETA: I agree with the others. The fact that they were alone, drinking wine and watching TV while you were out of town is sketchy.
Post # 10
I would definitely talk to your husband first. Is it possible she made a move on him and is now trying to turn things around? Maybe she midunderstood something? It isnt fair to get just one side – especially if you have had absolutely no reason to doubt your husband before this. Give yourself some time to approach him with questions rather than accusations.
I am so sorry that you are going through this!
Post # 11
I agree that you need to talk to your husband (if you haven’t already) and get his side of the story. See what he has to say and then go from there. It’s hard to give advice without knowing if you’ve talked with him or not and what he has to say.
Post # 12
You guys are amazing…..thanks for the support!
Did talk to him….he’s devastated. He thinks I’m gonna leave, he said he would give me enough money to make it through until I’m up and running on my own. He said he didn’t know what he was thinking, he thought she was being suggestive. BLEH We talked about our marriage and how we have felt more like roommates lately than husband and wife. He said he was really upset about the way I reacted when he proposed (grabbed ring out of box and didn’t say anything, didn’t cry, didn’t have any emotions….I was shocked)
I told him he has to talk to her today and that I will meet him tonight and he can propose to me again if he wants to be with me and I will tell him my answer and we will start fresh. Don’t know what I’m gonna do. I want to stay but it hurts so bad.
Post # 13
@RxBrideToBe: Have you talked to him about it? Start there. ONly you can decide if you want to stay or not.
My question would be is why is your BF over at your house while you aren’t there and drinking? And if your husband says she was being suggestive, could it be that she is making things worse than what they are? Maybe she tried to make a move and he rejected her and now she’s pissed?
Post # 14
Men are very good at holding things in, it must have been bugging him about the proposal. Still doesn’t excuse the situation you are both going through right now (which you already know). I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Take some deep breaths. You love him and he loves you. Really open the lines of communication. Wishing you the best
Post # 15
I was thinking the same thing.
I would also make sure that they didnt actually do the deed. This whole situation sounds strange. My bff would never come over and see my fiance’ without me being here and nor would I ever do that to anyone else. I would also feel paranoid everytime I went out of town or left him alone.
What a tough situation!
Post # 16
Agreed. None of my friends would just come over and drink with Mr. Tattoo without me being there. I would def talk to both of them at the same time in the same room. The truth will come out.