Post # 1
Hi Bees, would like some thoughts on this question-
My husbands mom and sister seem to be under the impression that you do not cash someone’s check until they received their thank you card. So over the holidays, I cashed a chceck from his mom and his sister text him and asked about the thank you card (this was literally the next day and we had already put the thank you card in the mail, they just hadn’t received it). His sister told him that was the etiquette.
I have never heard of this. Of course I agree to get thank you cards out promptly (which I have always done) but now its come up again. We received some generous wedding gifts (checks) from famiy/friends for our reception last week, and I wanted to cash the checks since I do not want all that money sitting in my house, and I think people want to balance their check books. My husband and I were discussing and my MIL and SIL jumped on me and both said “no thats not how its done”
I’m really confused and kind of annoyed. I held off on the checks out of respect to my husband, but now we have now sent every thank you card out (6days out from our reception) and I text my husband to let him know I was going to cash everything, but he asked me to wait on his family untnil Monday?
I’m so annoyed?! I don’t think you get to dictate when your check gets cashed?! How ridiculous????
Post # 2
That’s weird. I don’t think I’ve ever received a thank you card before my check was cashed to be honest
Post # 3
I’ve always heard that checks really should be cashed ASAP. I would not be following this “etiquette” rule for your family and friends.
Post # 4
financegal87 : I agree with a PP – checks should be cashed immediately. There’s nothing worse than sending someone a check and them not cashing it and you not knowing when the money’s going to suddenly come out!
Post # 5
I’ve never heard of what your MIL and SIL are talking about.
Post # 6
Cash ’em ASAP. It’s annoying when people hold on to cheques forever.
Post # 7
financegal87 : Cash the check immediately so that the family member can balance out or account for the money that will be withdrawn. You’ve sent the thank you notes a week ago.
Post # 8
Thank you!!!!! I agree they should be cashed immediately. I do not know why this is bothering me so much.
Post # 9
pinkcorsage : We had our reception last Friday and just mailed all of the checks yesterday 🙂 sorry that was confusing – I meant the thank you cards were mailed 6 days post reception.
Post # 10
I also think it should be cashed right away. The thank you can come after. When they give you any other gift, you receive the full gift (ie. the cash or object) before sending a card…
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
financegal87 : WHAT?! No… cash the check promptly. I HATE when people hold onto my check without cashing it. I mean I can understand waiting a few days or a week until you can get to the bank. I think that logic is ridiculous. I work in banking and I have seen people here the day after ther wedding/event depositing their checks. No way the thank you cards have been received a day or two out from the event. I think as long as you get the thank you card out in a reasonable amount of time, that is all. If you don’t cash the check and it bounces or something, what is the thank you card for then? Thanking someone means you’ve recieved their gift, so technically you haven’t really recieved your gift to thank them for with that logic…
Post # 12
Think of it this way, do you refrain from using gifts until after the Thank you has been received? New towels sitting in the closet, still? Vases & photo frames left unused?
Post # 13
financegal87 : ridiculous. Cash that checked the moment you receive it – i hate outstanding checks on my account. That said, i also write the thank you note right away. Like, i write the note, cash the check, and drop that note in the mail.
Post # 14
If I sent you a check for your wedding and got a thank-you card but the funds were not deducted from my account, I would be VERY confused.
Cash the checks and send a thank-you card right away. Your SIL is mistaken about etiquette and you do not need to abide by her opinion.
Post # 15
I’ve never heard of that, but in the circumstances I’d just abide by it for their side of the family since they’re gonna be that way about it.