(Closed) Check out this email I got from my college friend:

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i dont think she meant anything by it… unless that’s like her to sneakily imply something?

Post # 20
Member
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m not sure if that’s what she was doing but thinking about it, I would have been hurt if they didn’t say somthing like “I’m so sorry I can’t be there.  I bet it will be wonderful though!”

Post # 21
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh gosh, I am trying to see it…but I don’t really.  Honestly, that is something that I would type if I was in a rush or something!   Plus, your email was very brief and to the point, and she responded the same way.   I say shrug it off! 

Post # 22
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I can’t see anything rude either.  I’d say forget it.

Post # 23
Member
8028 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

She could have offered more congratulations, but I don’t really think it was rude.  It is hard to read inflection in emails.

Post # 24
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I can’t see anything wrong with her email, sorry 🙂 I really think it was a normal email written in a hurry.

EDIT: Also, I didn’t know there was a taboo against asking who else from a mutual group of acquaintances is invited…she was probably curious on what she was missing out on and/or just trying to seem interested. 

Post # 25
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

There is nothing rude there at ALL. Please take a step back and don’t throw her under the bus for this! You’re reading way too much into it.

Post # 26
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think that her response was fine in response to the email you gave. She was just trying to be nice I think- getting the scoop in a friendly way.

Post # 27
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yeah, her response definitely didn’t seem rude to me either. I think it’s a stretch to assume she was referencing the STD…to me saying “Oh no, sorry, I didn’t know it was on X date, I have other plans!” is pretty innocent. You’ll have enough to stress about with wedding planning, don’t worry about it!

Post # 28
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I agree it’s harmless and she didn’t mean anything by it.  I think she was just making conversation and her e-mail was to the point.  At least she responded! 🙂  I think she was trying to explain why she had a vacation planned over your wedding so you wouldn’t be offended.  You could always respond and say “ah man, I knew we should’ve sent save the dates.  Too bad.  I’m not sure who all is coming yet since we are just getting around to finalizing the guest list.” 

Post # 29
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Sounds to me like she was explaining to you why she scheduled a Hawaiian vacation…like because she didn’t know the date.

Also she’s probably being VERY polite asking who else is invited to the wedding so that she doesn’t talk about it to any of your mutual friends and accidentally find out that they were never invited!  That would be very awkward for her, and it is best that she asks you about it directly.

I don’t see the “jabs.”  I think maybe you should let her know if any mutual friends were invited, and leave it at that.

Post # 30
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

yeah, this seems totally normal.

Post # 31
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmm i dont see anything wrong about it, but her question about other college friends was a little odd.

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