(Closed) Check out this email I got from my college friend:

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I don’t think she was being rude or mean, or trying to uncover her being in the B list.  I think she was really sorry that her vacay coincided with her wedding day.   I felt like she actually wanted to let you know that if she knew it was your wedding day, she wouldn’t have gone to hawaii and would have planned her vacay around your wedding day so she could attend.

As for the college friends questions, she was probably just asking… No intentions nor malice… just plain asking…

Post # 49
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It seems like she was just starting up a conversation.

And frankly, it seems like you’re looking for a fight.

Post # 50
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it sounds totally innocent.  She probably didn’t receive a STD and because of that either didn’t think they were invited or didn’t know about the wedding. 

You are reading way too much into this.

Post # 51
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmmm. I feel like, just sitting here reading the text of her message, I wouldn’t say OMG WHAT A B***H, but given that I don’t know this person and what you’ve said about her general attitude, I think maybe you’re reading more into it than the rest of us because you actually know her. Did that make any sense? I need coffee. You’re right that a congrats would have been nice. I also wouldn’t ever ask anyone outright like that who they were inviting to their wedding, but I’m also all up in wedding etiquette no-no land.

Post # 52
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Obviously you know her best, but didn’t you say that she congratulated you on Facebook? I agree with others, it sounds like she expected a conversational reply to her question, and then probably would have finished up with a “congrats again, and have a great wedding!” or something.  

Post # 53
Member
555 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m kind of with everyone else, she said Congrats on FB which opened a door for communication already instead of this being your first interaction. Her response didn’t seem like she was digging but more short and to the point and apologetic. If you have a history with her possibly you’re reading into it based on that? I’ve done that before for sure, someone has burned me so I read into something based on their previous behavior. Or possibly she is digging for more info but nothing in that email seems there’s negativity coming from her.

Post # 54
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

She already said congrats though.  Does she have to say that in every correspondance now?  Plus, that would’ve signified e-mail conversation over when it clearly isn’t because she was continuing it by asking a question.

Post # 55
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Well It looks like you already haver your mind made up; although most here don’t agree. Hope it turns out okay. My question is this though: If you are so quick to write her off (because of past histroy) why were you going to invite her anyway? It almost looks like you were setting her up to dissapoint you. Your e-mail to her wasn’t all that inviting IMO. I still don’t think this should be a Huge deal. Good Luck!

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