Post # 1
I got this RSVP in the mail. In the section where you can write “messages, notes, and doodles to the Bride and Groom,” my friend from college writes, “I am returning from Germany at 1pm that day! I will try my best to be on time. I’m so happy for you both!”
And then she added an uninvited +1. We only included +1’s for those who are engaged or living together, or whom we met and are friends with. Otherwise we’d be over venue capacity.
So I know I have to write her an email/give her a call and tell her that she can’t invite her boyfriend. I am super bummed there is no room for him, but that’s just how it is 🙁
But what I’m more worried about is that she arrives in the States 3 hours before my wedding!! I don’t know if she’s flying into her hometown (1.5 hours from our venue), or into the San Diego Airport (25 minutes from our venue).
I have no idea if she’s going to interrupt the ceremony by coming in late, or if she will be there on time!!
Help me, bees! Did this ever happen to you/a friend? In that amount of time, will she make it? Another college friend completely missed the ceremony b/c of a delayed/missed flight or something. It will be a huge pain for me to count her as a Yes, and then to have her no-show. A lot can happen in the airports/planes from Germany to SoCal!
What do I do/tell her?
Post # 3
I personally wouldn’t be too worried about it. If a friend said they wanted to come and planned on coming but life got in the way I’d be totally understanding about it.
For us it’s a lot better to know who plans to come moreso than “maybe” answers because we want to make sure we book enough chairs/food/etc.
And I would imagine a late guest can slip in without making a commotion…so I’d just say great and if you come in late just sneak in quietly…we’re glad you’re going to be there!
Post # 4
@toasty: I have run into the +1 part. I would contact her and let her know that due to numbers you did not include a +1 for her. Ask her is this changes her decision or if she still thinks she can make it. Also ask what airport she is flying into. I would look up tips on being late to a wedding and send them to her as well letting her know that you are happy to have her as your guest and wanted to be sure to accomidate her. She may respond that she can’t go without a +1 in which case you can simple let her know that you understand and will think of her that day but that you can’t make an exception.
Post # 5
@LaTortuga: Oh yeah! I agree…forgot to speak to the issue of the +1.
Post # 6
I dont know that you will necessarily need to mention the +1 issue. Surely there will be SOMEONE who can’t make it to your wedding on the day of. Odds are, someone will end up having to work, be sick, have a family emergency, get a flat tire, or whatever.
Post # 7
Ok, I apologize for the horrid grammer and spelling in that post, hopefully you can still understand it! Jeesh where has my English gone?
Post # 8
You may want to let her have the plus one because she is opJust arriving from overseas, she will likely be tired and having a driver with some good sleep would make me feel better, especially if she is going the hour and a half home.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2014 - Disney
Her +1 is probably a driver. I’d let this one pass.
Post # 10
@toasty: I wouldn’t worry. if she’s late I’m sure she is smart enough to come in at the end, or to wait till the reception to show her face
Post # 11
@toasty: It’s extremely rude for people to RSVP for uninvited guests.
Having said that, EVERY wedding (including mine) has some last minute no-shows or last minute cancellations. We had about 4 people cancel days before the wedding for different reasons and a 2-3 total no shows for no reason. That was out of a 120ish person guest list.
If you’ve been reading WB for a while, you’ll see that’s common. So you really *could* let her bring her guest if you wanted, but of course…that’s up to you. Just to make sure she learns her lesson, I would email/call her and tell her that you hadn’t planned on any more +1s, but that if someone cancels, you will let her know.
Post # 12
@toasty: If she arrives late she won’t interrupt the ceremony. If she’s got any manners she’ll slip in quietly and take a seat at the back, no problem.
For the +1: normally I’d call back and say, “sorry, no +1s”. But since she’s making a big effort by flying in (so presumably her bf is flying in too), I’d grant her an exception. You should call and clarify though.
Post # 13
Here is the problem with rules like “engaged”–I am assuming that she is going to Germany with her boyfriend. What if they get engaged on the trip? I honestly wouldn’t sweat it. If she is running late she will probably skip the ceremony and will probably just see you at cocktail hour. She is making an effort and I would let the +1 thing go.
I have flown into an airport two hours away and have changed in the car on the way to the wedding. I slipped in through the side door 10 minutes after it started. No one noticed.
Post # 14
This is one situation where I’d try to make an exception. If she’s just getting in, she’s either not travelling alone, or has to have someone get her from the airport. How crappy to have to drop him off at home and then go to a wedding. Or worse, not have seen him for how long, have him pick you up, say hi, then leave for a wedding for a few hours without him.
Don’t sweat her not showing up on time. If she comes in the middle of the ceremony anyone with half a brain knows to just stand in back until there’s a break where they can sneak in the back row to sit, or just stand there and watch the whole thing out of the way. They should make it for the reception, and though the ceremony is the important part of your day, the reception is what you pay per person for. 🙂