(Closed) Check out this RSVP that I got…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I personally wouldn’t be too worried about it.  If a friend said they wanted to come and planned on coming but life got in the way I’d be totally understanding about it.

For us it’s a lot better to know who plans to come moreso than “maybe” answers because we want to make sure we book enough chairs/food/etc.

And I would imagine a late guest can slip in without making a commotion…so I’d just say great and if you come in late just sneak in quietly…we’re glad you’re going to be there!

Post # 4
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@toasty:  I have run into the +1 part. I would contact her and let her know that due to numbers you did not include a +1 for her. Ask her is this changes her decision or if she still thinks she can make it. Also ask what airport she is flying into. I would look up tips on being late to a wedding and send them to her as well letting her know that you are happy to have her as your guest and wanted to be sure to accomidate her. She may respond that she can’t go without a +1 in which case you can simple let her know that you understand and will think of her that day but that you can’t make an exception.

Post # 5
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LaTortuga:  Oh yeah!  I agree…forgot to speak to the issue of the +1. 

Post # 6
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I dont know that you will necessarily need to mention the +1 issue. Surely there will be SOMEONE who can’t make it to your wedding on the day of. Odds are, someone will end up having to work, be sick, have a family emergency, get a flat tire, or whatever.

Post # 7
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ok, I apologize for the horrid grammer and spelling in that post, hopefully you can still understand it! Jeesh where has my English gone?

 

Post # 8
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You may want to let her have the plus one because she is opJust arriving from overseas, she will likely be tired and having a driver with some good sleep would make me feel better, especially if she is going the hour and a half home.

Post # 9
Member
2743 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

Her +1 is probably a driver. I’d let this one pass.

Post # 10
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@toasty:  I wouldn’t worry. if she’s late I’m sure she is smart enough to come in at the end, or to wait till the reception to show her face

Post # 11
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@toasty:  It’s extremely rude for people to RSVP for uninvited guests.

Having said that, EVERY wedding (including mine) has some last minute no-shows or last minute cancellations.  We had about 4 people cancel days before the wedding for different reasons and a 2-3 total no shows for no reason.  That was out of a 120ish person guest list.

If you’ve been reading WB for a while, you’ll see that’s common.  So you really *could* let her  bring her guest if you wanted, but of course…that’s up to you.  Just to make sure she learns her lesson, I would email/call her and tell her that you hadn’t planned on any more +1s, but that if someone cancels, you will let her know.

Post # 12
Member
7738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@toasty:  If she arrives late she won’t interrupt the ceremony. If she’s got any manners she’ll slip in quietly and take a seat at the back, no problem. 

For the +1: normally I’d call back and say, “sorry, no +1s”. But since she’s making a big effort by flying in (so presumably her bf is flying in too), I’d grant her an exception. You should call and clarify though.

Post # 13
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Here is the problem with rules like “engaged”–I am assuming that she is going to Germany with her boyfriend. What if they get engaged on the trip? I honestly wouldn’t sweat it. If she is running late she will probably skip the ceremony and will probably just see you at cocktail hour. She is making an effort and I would let the +1 thing go.

I have flown into an airport two hours away and have changed in the car on the way to the wedding. I slipped in through the side door 10 minutes after it started. No one noticed.

Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is one situation where I’d try to make an exception.  If she’s just getting in, she’s either not travelling alone, or has to have someone get her from the airport.  How crappy to have to drop him off at home and then go to a wedding.  Or worse, not have seen him for how long, have him pick you up, say hi, then leave for a wedding for a few hours without him. 

Don’t sweat her not showing up on time.  If she comes in the middle of the ceremony anyone with half a brain knows to just stand in back until there’s a break where they can sneak in the back row to sit, or just stand there and watch the whole thing out of the way.  They should make it for the reception, and though the ceremony is the important part of your day, the reception is what you pay per person for.  🙂

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