(Closed) checking up on the EX still?!? whats wrong with me?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

you need closure. 

you say you are happy for your ex but you need to be happy with yourself too.  set yourself some goals to move forward with your life.  focus on yourself and your life, not his.

Post # 4
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I haven’t checked on my ex’s since I was like 22. I think you outgrow that or you have complete closure to no longer need that.

 

The fact you needed several paragraphs to explain this sitch is a red flag that you need to find some closure with him or yourself as a previously non-engaged woman. 

Post # 5
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I periodically run an online check on an ex; however he was abusive and it’s strictly to make sure that he’s a geographically safe distance from me.  I have no emotional interest.

Post # 6
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I check on my ex. But we were friends for almost a year and a half before we dated, and we still have a mutual friend  (who will be getting engaged and married soon, and we’ll both be in the wedding party so…)

He ended up cheating on me. It was a long distance thing between us, and we were almost broken up alerady at that point. I was hurt and because I was super depressed at the time, took it terribly. Now I’m chill with it. We were great friends, but terrible partners.

Post # 7
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t check on mine; but, he started dating this girl that I was good friends with while I was in school, and she’s on my FB, so I get to see pictures of them together. I’m by no means jealous, but it is a little uncomfortable. 

Post # 8
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

how do you check up on him? fb? just block him, then you can’t!

Post # 12
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@HisNightOwl2014:  How old are you? No judgement, but when I was even just a little bit younger, it was harder for me not to peek in on my ex’s because I was still sort of floudering in figuring out who I was or what I wanted…(I’m only 24)

Post # 14
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with MrsWBS.  I have officially blocked all of my exs and one of them I blocked the girl he cheated on me with.  I also blocked my fiance’s ex because she did a lot of really f’ed up things and I have to pay for them and I got a little tipsy one night and almost sent her a really mean thing but I blocked her instead.  

Post # 16
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well there is one ex that I end up seeing almost everytime I fly back home.  He still works at the same place he did and they are the only store that carries this one beer that I love.  When I used to end up seeing him it made me feel better about my life.  But I never did and never will regret leaving him and going to school.

I do think you need to try to get some closure.  I’m not sure how you can create that but maybe just try focusing on yourself.  I mean I felt bad for a while on how I let myself be in that abusive relationship with an ex but I worked on getting better and I have a much better life now.  The only thing left over is the weight struggle really.

It sounds like you have taken some steps to resolve the issues you had back then, so perphaps following down this path will help you get some closure.

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