Post # 1
So after three and a half years of battling lung cancer, my Mom is declining very rapidly due to mets in her brain. She had radiation a few weeks ago which was apparently unsuccessful. She can’t walk or stand. She has trouble speaking and swallowing and is only lucid maybe 50% of the time. This has happened extremely quickly. As in Sunday I had a normal conversation with her on the phone and on Tuesday DH and I had to go help my Dad get her off the floor and she couldn’t really answer anything other than a yes or no question. She now has hospice care, which provides a visiting nurse, social worker, and CNA to aid with her care in addition to a hospital bed and wheel chair (though it is doubtful that we will use it again).
I wish I could be with her full time but I can’t. Due to the snow, my husband lost four days of work. I am entitled to FMLA but once I am out of sick/personal time (I only have four days left), I will not receive pay and will have to pay the employer share of our benefits out of pocket to the tune of $700 (my portion is $130). I will take my sick time if/when it becomes apparent we are close to the end but it could be days or weeks. I will also be entitled to 5 days of DIF paid leave (thank God). I’ve made arrangements with my admin for the fact that I could be called out at a moment’s notice and they are supportive, thankfully.
Tonight, I meet with Dad and my two aunts to start making service arrangements. My brother will (hopefully) be flying in from Seattle (we’re in Delaware) soon to be able to see her while she can still recognize him.
Basically, it all sucks really hard. Please cheer me up. I need to stop randomly bursting into tears at work.
Post # 2
I am so sorry. I will pray for her and for your family. All my love to you!
Post # 3
((hugs)) I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The prospect of losing a parent is incredibly painful and something no one is ever prepared for. I lost my own father unexpectedly to brain cancer and it totally shook my entire world. The best advice I can give you is, whenever the tears come just let it all out. The worst thing you can do is try to hold it all in and resist the pain and tears, because it will actually prolong your healing. You might have several break downs at work (I definitely did) and in random [public] places, but it’s all perfectly normal and part of the grieving process.
Do you have friends and family you can lean on for support? The place that I worked actually offered grief counseling to their employees, and I found speaking to other women who experienced loss was one of the best things for me.
Post # 4
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. How awful to see her going through this, but even more so for her to be suffering.
Lots of hugs.
Post # 5
BIG hugs. What a terrible thing to have to go through. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum.
Post # 6
My workplace is generally supportive, though I work in a school which makes things extra complicated. I’m fine with talking to my coworkers about it but I really do not want to delve into it with 12-14 year olds. Therefore, it is an excellent time for independant work…
Post # 7
Post # 8
1. Warm thoughts and prayers.
2. Have you asked if your workplace has any type of leave sharing?
Post # 9
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I’m so sorry. I wish you all strength to get through the days ahead.