Post # 1
I’m sad to say that the BFP I got Friday ended in a chemical yesterday.
Basically, Friday morning I got a faint, but clear positive on an FRER. I figured I’d test again Sunday morning to see a darker line, and instead I got a line so faint I literally thought my mind was playing tricks on me. I made my husband look at it and he also saw a line, but barely. At that point, I don’t know why, but something told me I was having a chemical. I started spotting a few hours later, around 11am, and by 7pm last night I was cramping like crazy and bleeding super heavily, like the first day of my period but a bit more aggressive than usual. This morning I’m still cramping and bleeding heavily, but both are not QUITE as crazy as last night.
I spoke with my OB and cancelled my prenatal appointments (sigh), and they told me if we want to try again this cycle we can but they recommend I come in for a blood test to make sure my HCG is back to 0. I was going to go in today, but I think I’ll wait until tomorrow when I’m feeling a bit better.
This is also a super-stressful time at work, so basically couldn’t come at a worse time. Trying to give myself some grace and just address this right now and not the million other things I need to do, but it’s hard.
This was our first cycle TTC and while I know chemicals are common, particularly in first pregnancies, it still makes me worry. I still find myself googling “how to prevent chemical pregnancy” and wondering if I’ll ever be able to carry a pregnancy to term. I know it’s silly, but I’m pretty down and looking for some support from this wonderful community.
Thanks all <3
Post # 2
minimalistoverplanner : Lots and lots of hugs towards you!!!
Post # 3
minimalistoverplanner : oh sweetie *hugs*
I know you know this, because you’re a smart cookie, but chemical pregnancies are almost always just that something in the blastocyst was genetically off and your body was like “nah I’d rather wait for a good one.” and hit the eject button. I know it hurts so much, but this is most likely just random chance.
Here’s the silver lining. You know right off the bat that
– you are producing eggs
– Darling Husband is producing good swimmers
– there is nothing blocking his swimmers from getting to your egg–no hostile uterus, no blocked tubes, etc..
– your lining is thick enough for implantation
– your timing is good
That’s huge! You go in to cycle two knowing way more about your fertility than most people.
Again, I don’t mean to minimize your pain and dissapointment–it’s real, and nothing will change that. Just trying to minimize your fear that this is telling you bad things about your body, by letting you know all the good things its telling you!
Post # 5
mama2bee71 : thank you <3
amanda1988 : thank you so much. i know all of those things, but as much as i tell myself those things it doesn’t help as much as it does hearing it from someone else. it just makes me nervous that ALL my eggs, or ALL his sperm, are going to be flawed, but I know that’s ridiculous. i really appreciate you posting here, reading that helped a lot. <3
southerngal2016 : thank you <3
Post # 7
Hugs to you! Such an emotional roller coaster to go from feeling so high and excited to just the opposite. I just wanted to say that I feel for you and I agree with what a PP saod, there are so many positives that you know now as well. Be kind to yourself and know it’s okay to feel sad right now. Best of luck to you!
Post # 8
minimalistoverplanner : huge hugs to you. I was there end of August last year with our first attempt too, and it’s horrible! I really really feel for you, but please don’t let it discourage you! It’s your body screening out the not quite right ones, but the right one *is* in there 🙂 in our case we had a chemical, followed by a miscarriage at 9 weeks, and now I’m almost 20 weeks. It can and will happen for you. Lots of luck and remember to look after yourself and try not to worry!!
Post # 9
It is heartbreaking to get your hope so up and then lose it. Hugs to you in your TTC journey 🙂
Post # 10
Chemical in oct
Sticky baby in nov.
30 weeks now. I still have anxiety that something is wrong. Youre not alone, its so hard.. fingers crossed
Post # 11
Thank you ladies for your support.
To update, I’m getting my HCG tested today just to make extra sure we are safe to try again this cycle. Otherwise my OB recommends waiting a cycle, and we don’t want to wait. So fingers crossed it’s at 0.
Post # 12
minimalistoverplanner : FX Bee! We tried the next cycle, hope you can too!!
Post # 13
We had a CP our first cycle trying too… got so excited with the BFP..even had symptoms indicating pregnancy! But then I got a BFN when looking for that darker line two days later.. then the symptoms were gone…and AF arrived…i only tested early because I was symptomatic.. otherwise I may have never tested and known!
Post # 14
minimalistoverplanner : How did the HCG testing go today?
Post # 15
Dani1105 : same. I had super strong, clear pregnancy symptoms. Sore breasts and cramping every day after implantation. It was crazy, Sunday everything faded within 24 hours and AF came on STRONG.
SeaOfLove : you’re so sweet for asking. Thank you so much. I got my results this morning and I’m back at 0. Im so happy we can try again, but also nervous I’ll have repeat chemicals.
The OB actually said he thought the test I took Friday was faulty bc my blood test yesterday was literally at 0, but when I told him about the second positive and how unusual my period has been he said it was definitely a chemical after all. He also said I need to note that as a miscarriage on future charts, which bummed me out, but it is what it is. Just praying our next pregnancy is a healthy one. :/