Post # 1
My fiancé and I have decided to make a no kids under five policy (except nursing infants) for our wedding. The ceremony will start at around 4pm and go until midnight. I feel a bit guilty/worried my friends will be offended, but we counted and realized that if everyone with a child that age comes and brings their kid, we could have 23 babies and toddlers at the wedding, which we really feel would totally change the feel of it. In reality it will probably be more like 15 babies/toddlers, but still, that is really a lot, and we want to have some real quality, fun adult time with our friends. We have told our guests the policy and that we are working hard to come up with a list of recommended babysitters in the area that they can hire (which is true), and that we really appreciate their understanding etc.
I have been reading your all’s posts about this, and I am interested in alternative ways we could do this. I like the idea of us hiring a couple babysitters to take care of multiple kids at a nearby hotel (nearest is 13 minutes away, and there is really no place at the venue — a farm– for this), but my question is how this works with little kids who will need to be put to bed before their parents get home. Does anyone have experience with this?
Thanks so much.
Post # 2
amcr729 : I’ve babysat for a large group of kids while the adults were at a nearby party – the kids either just napped or stayed up past their bedtime. One night of messed of bedtime won’t kill them. And honestly a lot of the parents just left the party early to take the kids home OR hired their own babysitter at their homes rather than use the one the hosts provided. If you have an infants that are still breastfeeding though be prepared to either allow them or accept that those parents might decline.
Post # 3
As a parent, I would never allow someone to hire a babysitter for my small child… especially ones that would take them to a different location. Honestly… I don’t think many parents would feel comfortable with your scenario.
As a wedding guest, I would provide my own childcare or decline your invitation.
Post # 4
LilliV : thanks so much — where did you do it? was it a house, hotel etc? Where did the kids nap?
Post # 5
MrsBonJovi : Thanks, I hear that. The main reason for the idea was so that WE would have to pay for it and orgnaize it, so that they wouldn’t have to. But given what you are saying, perhaps the better way to help is to just provide a list of babysitters recommended by our parent friends in the area.
Post # 6
Just a heads up, even with me recommending people that I personally know, that I would leave my nieces and nephews with to show how much I trust them, a lot of people don’t want to leave their kids with a stranger (to them) in a strange city. You’re so wonderful to consider this option, but if you’re anything like our guest list just offer a list of trusted babysitters, and only then if you get A LOT of people wanting to bring kids you could try to coordinate a group sitter.
Post # 7
amcr729 : it was at a house – it was a neighborhood party so the parents were sort of going back and forth between different houses in the same small area (one family held cocktail hour, another did appetizer course, another main course, dessert, coffee, etc, etc.). We just had them all in the finished basement of one of the hosts. That said these were neighbors who all knew each other, the parents could (and did) stop by to check in on the kids easily, and I had babysat for some of the families many times already. As for naps, kids were just sort of strewn about lol. The ages were about 3 – 8 years old.
Post # 8
I agree with the others. I would never leave my child with a babysitter that I did not know. If I couldnt find someone to babysit her while I attended your wedding I would decline. You dont want the 15 or so kids at your party, absolutely your choice and your right, but be prepared that their parents may also not be attending.
Post # 9
amcr729 : I just don’t see many people being ok with an sitter that they don’t know. I think none, if any, would take you up on the offer. If you don’t want kids just don’t invite them – and the parents can make their own arrangements. I had a kid-free wedding and all of our guests made their own sitting arrangements or RSVP’ed no. We did have one family from out of town who asked for a sitter referral, which I was happy to give, and they hired the girl I knew and were pleased.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Sounds like most of your friends are from outside your area? I don’t have kids, but I have a lot of friends who do, and i have to agree with PPs that it’s unlikely that your friends will be ok traveling to a new area and leaving their kids with strangers :/ Just a heads up to expect that. You might have to decide whether you’d rather have friends+babies, or no friends.